Getting To Know You
Nikki's POV
Tonight I'm sleeping in my own fucking bed! Kiss my ass and fuck you very much. Anyhow, I gotta get to know Duff a little more. That's the easy part. What's difficult is Duff getting to know me. That's just not something that I usually don't allow people to do. But I've already prepared to be unabashedly honest with him. This is just for the sake of getting back into my own body. However, I find that I have never felt as alive as I do in Duff. Don't ask me, I don't have the slightest clue why.
So Duff and I go back to my place. He's wasted. He was used to drinking a certain amount a day. But when you throw in my heroin addiction, well let's just say it gets interesting. Right now I can get Duff to tell me if he likes a finger up his ass or if he still wet the bed. It's me that needs to be in his position and not the other way around. Still, it's what we've got to work with here. Gotta make the best of it.
Just walking through my front door triggers something in my brain that tells me to shoot up. But somehow it's easy to dismiss the thought and replace it with Vodka. Duff's body wants vodka. It doesn't matter how fucking much Jack I drink, I still end up wanting vodka. I don't even fucking like vodka. I wonder what bad habits of mine he might be getting? For some reason, Duff and Axl don't seem to be craving dope. Our bodies do, but their brains just don't register that craving effect. They don't associate dopesickness with any drug experience they've ever had.
So I call and order a few pizzas. Duff and I plop down on my couch with the TV on. "So I'll start," I say and look over at my own face, " you have brothers and sisters?"
I watch my head nod, "I'm the youngest of eight. You?"
"Sister," I say, "younger than me." Ok, this isn't so bad, I can do this."
Then Duff asks me, "What's your family like?"
I sigh because I don't want to answer. "This is stupid. Grab your bass." I quickly say. There's more important shit to be learning about one another. I've gotta teach him how to be me. "We can start with Wild Side.," I strap on my bass and play the cords for him. He plays them back perfectly. However his stance is way off. "Your posture is too perfect. Lean over your bass more."
He leans over some, "Like this?"
"More," I say.
He leans over more, "Man I feel like I'm gonna fall face first."
"Imagine how I'm gonna feel holding perfect fucking posture," I say and get a tug off the vodka.
It takes a few hours to wear ourselves out. But I manage to get him passable for me. Interacting with my band mates will be the real challenge. Tommy's gonna ask him a million questions. Vince will start bitching and Duff won't have a clue what to say. Plus he will be making executive decisions about MY band. I mean, were planning perhaps our largest tour ever. There's themes to pick. There's backups to audition. Gotta make a set list. Gotta decide album covers. Just a shitload of decisions to make and Duff has my fucking proxy. I'm a little nervous about it. Then there's the issue with my fucking hair. I attempted to show Duff how and after many failed attempts I just said fuck it. I'll just let it be flat.
Duff reaches for the Jack on the table and turns it up. He looks over at me, "So how long before its time for a fix?" He asks.
I raise Duff's eyebrow, "Whenever you start to hurt. Why? Are you craving it or something?"
"I don't know," he looks at me confused. "I know the goal is to get you sober...but I just want more than Jack and cocaine. I don't really know what, just more," he explains. "I can only assume that that void is smack."
"Yeah, most likely," I nod.
"So...how is getting you sober working out in my body?" He asks me.
"Well, I'm still thinking about it from time to time. There's lots of triggers. I see someone strike a lighter and I think about cooking a fix. But the thoughts go away almost as fast as they come. It's kinda weird. I don't really want it but I want vodka. And I know you don't want me to get your body strung out."
"Yeah man, please don't get me hooked on heroin," Duff nods my head.
"I keep wondering what your 'lesson to learn' is," I look at myself.
He shrugs my shoulders, "Fuck if I know. Guess I'll figure it out later."
"Let's make it sooner than later. I'd really like my body back," I say.
"Yeah," Duff nods my head, "I hate touching your dick every time I take a piss."
"Yeah, kinda puts a stop to masterbating huh?" I smile. "At least I fucking hope so anyway."
"Remember that shaking it more than once is playing with it," Duff sternly points my finger at me.
"But," I shrug his shoulders, "I don't see any reason why you can't enjoy the perks of being me."
My own eyes flash at me, "What, you don't mind me fucking somebody?"
"Nah, why not? I'm kinda curious about that one too," I reply. "You know, for the sake of studying."
"Yeah, research. Like getting to know ALL about each other," he nods my head. "That's what I don't get with Axl and Izzy," he continues with a perplexed look on my face, "they already know everything about each other."
"Maybe there's something another lesson they're supposed to learn." I say in Duff's voice as I ponder it all. "Guess we'll find out."
"Are you sure getting clean is your 'lesson'?" hear myself as he asks.
"I think so, I don't know of any big secrets. This has to be the thing to overcome."
"I wish I knew what mine was," he questions and sighs.
"Well, I guess we have to figure it out together."
