My Best Friend
Nikki's POV
I was bored off my ass and drinking enough fucking vodka to become Russian. Slash is watching some infomercial about getting hooked on phonics. Don't ask me, I already know how to read. His pet boa constrictor, Clyde, is wrapping itself around my ankle. I try to kick it off, but come on, it's a fucking boa constrictor. It's job is to wrap itself around its food, squeeze the life out of it, and eat it whole. Look snake, I'm not your next fucking meal. Got that? Keep squeezing my leg and I'll be eating you tonight. God knows these Gunner fucks could use a meal.
What the fuck was taking Duff so long at rehearsals? Probably some unforseen problem with Vince. Probably had to wait an hour on him to show up. But then, there is that slight chance that my band mates discovered that I wasn't me. If that's the case Duff's probably tied up and being interrogated. Worst possible scenario, they killed him and threw his ass in a canyon. But realistically, Vince wouldn't want to get his hands dirty, Mick would rather torture, and Tommy would probably wait for my orders.
Finally, just as the infomercial is starting over again the door opens. I look up and see my body come in, followed very close by Tommy. What the hell was Tommy doing here? Great, Duff blew it.
Duff shrugs my shoulders at me, "He knew something was up man," he says.
"What you stood too straight didn't you?" I roll my eyes.
"No it wasn't that. I took the Jack with my left hand," Duff says looking at me and shrugging.
"Dude!" Tommy says with his normal enthusiasm, "Is it really you?"
"Yes," I sigh hearing Duff's voice.
"What was the name of the stripper the other night?" Tommy ask just double checking to make sure that it really really is me.
So I guess Tommy still needs more proof. "Tommie," I say rather dully.
"Dude! It is you!!" He throws his arms around Duff's body.
"Yes, now get the fuck off me," I say shoving him off me.
"Dude! What the fuck happened? I mean...why the fuck is Duff you and you him?" Tommy curiously asks.
"It's not just them," Axl says in Izzy's voice. "Me and Izzy too," he motions at them both.
"So how did it happen?" Tommy again asks. Duff fills him in on all the details as I sit and swill vodka. I think I'm starting to like this shit. "So can this be fixed?" Tommy then asks me.
"Well we talked to witches and Voo Doo people. They say that if we learn our lessons that the spell should be reversed," I sigh.
"What lessons?" Tommy asks.
"Well I think for me and Izzy it's getting sober. It's a lot easier in Duff's body since he wasn't a user. But I'm taking on his habits now. Look at me, I never drink vodka, but because Duff's body wants it, well I just can't seem to get enough of it."
"So what does Duff and Axl have to learn from this?" Tommy looks over Duff's face with me inside.
"We don't know yet," Axl softly says in Izzy's demure voice.
"But what about recording?" Tommy then says, "We go into the studio next week!"
"Well, we have two options. Either I tell Mick, Vince, management, engineers, and basically the whole goddamn world...or Duff stands in as me," I tell him.
"We're recording soon too," Axl says, "And we are NOT going in the studio with Nikki as our bassist!"
I roll my eyes, "So you're ready to tell the world that you're actually in Izzy's body?"
Axl and Izzy just stare at one another. Izzy breaks the staring by asking in Axls voice, "Uh Axe, I'm not the singer."
"As long as you're stuck in my body I guess you are," Axl replies.
"Ok...so should I teach you guitar now or later?" Izzy shrugs.
Axl just sighs and runs his hand through Izzy's hair. Shits been a little tense here all day. Axl and Duff are feeling withdrawals. And me and Izzy are feeling great but have to baby our sick bodies. I could really use some pussy. In fact, we all could. "I say we go down to the Cathouse, pick up some chick and get our ducks wet."
"You mean each other's dicks?" Duff sighs.
"I can't, I have a girlfriend," Axl sighs, "And Izzy's not fucking some skank in my body!"
"Oh you'd rather I fuck your girlfriend?" Izzy asks Axl with raised eyebrows.
"Over your dead body!" Axl cuts izzys eyes up at him.
"Would you prefer he jack off your dick?" Duff asks in my voice.
"I already tried that with yours," I smirk at Duff, "I couldn't get past the fact that it's your dick."
"Ok, I will go to the Cathouse and pick up a chick," Duff nods.
"Yeah, me too," I nod, "You two can do whatever you two decide on we're out of here," I say and Duff and Tommy gladly follow.
