Why Can't We Be Friends
Nikki's POV
Ok, so I sorta blew up at Duff, tried to kill him, and had to be drug away. But it's been a few days and I'm over it. So Duff can't fuck. It's cool, maybe I can teach him. Maybe I can find a way to get him out of this premature Peter shit. I'm Nikki fucking Sixx! I can do anything I set my mind to! I'll fix this shit. Hey maybe this is Duff's thing to overcome? If so I'm the man for the job. I'm fucking great at sex. I eat pussy and kiss like a fucking champ!
So to apologize to Duff I buy a shitload of Jack and Vodka. And I mixed the shit together! Fuck it, well both be appeased and drunk as fuck! I of course do this shit at my place because it doesn't suck like their shithole and Duff's shitty bed! Duff's a little jumpy at first, but I did try to kill him with my bare...his bare hands. I'd be leery of me too. I'm normally six one and nonpussy, but being in Duff gives me two whole inches more of badass! Fear my rage motherfuckers!
But about halfway through this very odd liquor combination Duff starts apologizing to me like he had actually done something wrong. I'm the asshole who flew off the hinges. Duff didn't do anything to put me in his body. Like we factored in all this little odities when we swapped souls. How could anyone anticipate something like that? He didn't need to apologize to me, but I let him anyway.
"Duff," I say when he's done, "I think we've found your thing to overcome."
"You think?" He eagerly raises my eyebrows at me.
"Man what the fuck else can it be? Vodka?" I ask incredulously.
"I do like the vodka," he raises his combo bottle up at me, " But this Jack shit of yours is kinda growing on me."
"That's because I drink good shit."
"Really man, I m sorry if I embarrassed you or anything. I know you're like way more famous than me and have an image to uphold and everything," he says in my most apologetic voice.
"It's cool man, it just took me by surprise is all. I mean I've never really had any problems in that department, you know? But it's cool. I think I can help you."
"Help me? You think I need help? Really? I'm that bad?" He asks and manages to make my voice sound so pathetic"
"You definitely have room for improvement dude."
"Fuck...now why can't chicks ever tell you that shit?" He incredulously asks in my tone tilt
"Because they're just kinder creatures by nature my friend," I afrirmatively nod his head and tip my bottle at him.
"Ok. So we know that your thing to overcome is heroin. Mine is premature ejactulation. So what's our secrets then?" Duff shrugs my shoulders.
"When I figure that out I'll be sure to send you a memo." I sigh and wish to god I had an answer. Why couldn't any of this be fucking simple?.. Why do I have to fucking get so comfortable in Duff? Why Duff? Who says our souls were the right ones to switch? I mean maybe I was supposed to get Axl? Izzy? Duff and I are such pillar opposites! It just makes no logical sense why I need to learn anything from Duff. He's so...so...nice and friendly, and everything I just ain't! Theres nothing for me to fucking learn with him. Sure he can learn a ton from me, but where the fuck am I actually benefitting here? I mean besides addiction which is going really good. I say a couple more weeks and my body will be clean. That's great and all, but I feel like I'm not learning any lesson here. The pieces just don't fucking fit.
"So how do you think things work with Axl and Izzy?" Duff wonders aloud.
I smirk and chuckle this cute chuckle that is entirely Duff's, "That is clear as glass I think. I think Axl just might be curious about Izzy's recent...behavior."
"Axl? Curious? I don't know.. he'd kill any body else who EVER kissed him!" Duff widens my eyes.
"Precisely my point," I nod his head at him. "But if Tommy tried that shit on me...not happening! I think Axl liked it!"
" No way man!" He raises my eyebrows.
"Yes way. Did you see how he just stood there?" I remind him.
"But he's in Izzy's calm body loaded on heroin..."
"Still...I need a better excuse."
