Changes
Nikki's POV
Izzy came out of his coma. He will be coming home to hell house tomorrow. Axl is with him at the hospital. Duff returned and said that when he last saw they they were both in Izzy's bed clinging to one another and crying. So Duff quietly left and came home. Since that little drama had resolved itself I decided to go for a walk. That's something that I can't do anymore in my own body. But as Duff, I'm just another face in the crowd.
I had forgotten about the trivial little things in life like being able to walk down the street without bodyguards. Being able to actually go in clubs and listen to the music without spending all my time signing autographs. I forgot how peaceful being a nobody could be. I find myself feeling this strange sort of freedom in Duff's body. I wasn't a heroin addict. I wasn't a rock star all catered to and pampered. I wasn't the leader of Motley Crue. I didn't travel in limos with bodyguards. I didn't have chicks lining up to fuck me or suck me. There's no hotel suites. No Egyptian cotton sheets. No airplanes. No stadiums. No lights flashing in my eyes. No ringing in my ears from our obnoxiously loud shows. Im just a guy walking down the street.
I felt like the chip had been knocked off my shoulder. I guess all the responsibility and privileges of my normal life stressed me out. It made me an unyielding asshole. There were so many demands all the fucking time. Fucking meetings to go to. Fucking papers to sign. The weight of my entire world rested on my shoulders and my shoulders alone. I don't have anyone helping me out. I don't have assistants, but I needed them. But now that weight rests on Duff. In a weird sort of way, this is like a vacation.
But vacations always have to end. And I know it eventually will end. I'll get my body back and my life would continue where I left off. I'd go back to being Nikki Sixx. I would resume control of my empire. And I'd strap that weight back on my back and do my best to stay sober. But I know that I can't stay sober with my lifestyle. It doesn't work sober. And that's a shame because I like not having that addiction strapped to my back along with everything else. But tonight I'm not Nikki Sixx. I guess I just wanted to enjoy it while it lasted, you know? I like how peaceful I feel inside Duff's skin.
I walk a long time with no specific destination in mind. I don't even really pay much attention to where I'm even at. I just stare down at the pavement and walk. Pretty soon I find out that my feet have taken me to the red light district. Girls start coming up to me trying to sell their bodies to me. Granny's wink at me and blow me kisses. Pimps lurk in the shadows with their eyes on their investments. Drug dealers run up to cars at stop lights selling their shit.
My eyes fall on a girl across the street. She's wearing a tight sequence mini skirt and a bikini top. Her arms wrap around her torso and she's shaking. It's chilly tonight. Her ankles wobble when she tries to walk in her heels. I don't know what compelled me to cross the street but I do. As I get closer to her I can see that her makeup is running. She's been crying. I also tell she can't be much more than fourteen or fifteen. Her hair is pulled back into a pony tail and I can see fingerprint bruises on her neck.
Her eyes flutter into mine. She Clearwater throat and asks me, "You looking for a date mister?"
"How much?" I ask. Not because I wanted to fuck her, but because I was curious about how much she was peddling her ass for.
"Twenty five. If you just want me to suck it it's ten. You want both, thirty." And I notice her nervously scratch her arm. It's then that I see the scabs and bruises on her arm. Just a baby and she's a junkie. Alone out here selling her ass for pennies.
With the flick of Duff's head I motion her to follow me. She walks next to me with her head hung and shivering. Don't ask me why but I take off Duff's jacket and drape it over her bare shoulders. She looks a little shocked but mumbles 'thanks'. We walk a few blocks and she starts getting antsy. "How about this alley?" She motions.
I shake Duff's head and continue walking. I stop outside of a diner and open the door. I have to motion her inside to even get her to move. The waitress stares at us but leads us to a booth with menus in her hands. I sit down and so does the girl looking rather apprehensive.
"Order whatever you like," I say and open the menu. She does the same. "I'm Nikki by the way," I tell her and know that I was supposed to say Duff.
"Amber," she whispers softly.
"You're not 18 are you?" I ask.
She doesn't say anything. She just sniffles and wipes her nose.
"How long since you fixed?" I ask.
She puts her arms down at her side suddenly and just acts speechless. "What do you know about it?" She finally managed to ask.
"More than I care to admit honey," I say and scan the menu some more. "You're starting to get sick, aren't you?"
She just nods with her eyes fixated on the menu. I see tiny sparkling beads of sweat forming on her forehead.
"How about something chocolate?" I ask. I knew that sweets were the junkies diet of preference.
She nods. "Then we do this?" She asks.
"I don't want that. I just...I just wanna help you. Don't worry, I'll still pay you for your time. How much for the rest of the night?"
"A hundred," she says flatly glancing up at me.
I chuckle, "You really don't know how it charge for this line of work do you? Do you just do it for the habit?"
"What's it to you mister?" She furrows her brows.
"Nikki. My name is Nikki," I remind her. "I'll tell you what Amber, I'll give you a grand for the night and a hotel suite."
"I thought you said you didn't want to..."
"I don't. I just get the feeling that you have nowhere else to go. If you do...you know whatever."
"No," she says softly. "Why are you doing this?"
I lean back and smile. I had no fucking clue what I was doing. I just wanted to help her. Maybe it's Duff coming out in me. "Just looked like nobody has been nice to you in a while."
