In The Still Of The Night
Izzy's POV
The look that I currently find residing on my face isn't one of my expressions at all. It's Axl's. And for some reason his face is all I even really see when I look at myself. It's as if my mind has accepted that what I see isn't even me anymore. I know this is Axl. I'm not associating red hair and green eyes to him anymore. He's got blue black hair and hazel eyes. He's skinny and he's in my lap and in my arms. It's like the whole awkwardness of being inside of someone else's body now is just... irrelevant. I don't care because it doesn't matter at all. It doesn't matter that I have to be touching myself to touch him because I'm him. It's not an issue now. It's as if I've always been in his body and he in mine. Not two different entities at all. Just one.
The one I love as purely as anyone could possibly love another person. I already know that noone will ever mean this much to me. I'll live out the rest of my days with no room in my heart for any but him. He's it for me. My heart found who it wants and it had tied itself to him forever. It doesn't even matter if he feels like I do. I feel it. I know. But I think this expression of his on my face knows it too. He kisses me back. Every time he kisses back. He never stops me. He never pushes me away. Should... Should I take that as a sign? I mean that kiss just now...he came up like a rocket. I thought he would jerk away but he didn't. He settled down on top of me and delivered just as much as I was. He clung to me like...like...like maybe he feels something too.
Right now he is coming back to the present reality but he's not moving an inch. He's not saying a word. He has my lips parted just staring at me. Fuck, just say something to me Axl. Please tell me you get everything I feel for you. Tell me that kissing someone else has felt this wonderful to you. Tell me that you don't want me. Or tell me you do. Just don't sit there in silence. Let me in. Let me know how you feel! Let it be what I think. What I want. What we both need. This is it. This is everything. This is the key to getting our souls back where they belong, I just feel it. I know it. Please say something!!
But he says nothing. I feel him tracing his lips with my fingers. Touching me so gently. Looking at his own lips in wonder. Wonder! Ooh god the possibilities of endless wonder. And then his kiss comes and I know. He...he feels this as much as I do. He feels this! I turn as we kiss and lay him back on the bed. I hover over him, so fucking close yet so far. The mere centimeters between us feel like miles. I rest his hands on my jaw line and kiss him softly again. I know this can go farther. Deeper. To an unimaginable state of forever. And he knows it too. And I realize that I don't even need him to give me a verbal confirmation. I know from the fire he's shoving out through my lips. And even though the lips are mine... they're his too.
I can't control the tears of joy that come cascading from his eyes. I've never felt so bestowed with life before. I've never felt so connected. I've never known any of this but I knew I wanted to know. Now I do and my moment has been presented. The checkered flag waved. Green light. Go. Ignition. Engage. The gun fires at the starting line. And so I start. I glide his palm flatly under the fabric of my shirt across my flat stomach and up to my chest. I'm kissing him with as much want as I know how to show. He's pulling me closer and I feel my hand snaking through his long perfectly straight red hair. And I feel his want for me too. I know that he wants this. He wants me. He's accepting everything I give him. Every touch. Every kiss.
I finally find my voice. I retract from my own lips unable to resist touching them so lightly. Tracing them into my memory. "Is this what you want?" I ask and swallow.
He looks up at me and I can hear my labored breath seeping out through my mouth. "I...I don't know Izzy. I... we're...is that what you want?" He stammers in my faintest whisper. My eyes grow desperate and confused.
