On With The Show
Nikki's POV
So the Gunners are scheduled to play this big festival thing in San Jose. I've been practicing the songs but the bass lines are so much different from what I'm used to. Duff plays a bass almost like it were a rhythm guitar. A lot of it is pretty hard. I'm totally gonna need a cheat sheet on the stage floor. I've also been working on the way Duff moves onstage. Not that it matters, they're a new band and virtually unheard of. So naturally I don't have his act down. It's not like Crue that is world wide. It's a local gig.
So we get to the venue an hour late because Axl couldn't get his shit together. He did manage to come up with a good idea to be Izzy. He's gonna pretend and pose and Izzy guitar tech will actually be playing Izzy's parts from back stage. Izzy though is shitting brick about being the singer. We did a dry run and it sounded like Axl. He could hold the long notes and everything. You literally couldn't tell the difference. But Izzy refuses to run around on the stage like a chicken with his head cut off, the way Axl does. It's gonna be an interesting night.
"Izzy what the fuck are you wearing Izzy," Axl asks him because he's in his own clothes.
"You have no sense of fashion," Izzy sighs combing through Axl's red hair.
"Then put on a fucking T-shirt or something. It's important that you look like me."
"Nikki, you should rip off the hem of that shirt," Duff says, "I show my stomach alot."
I just shrug and start ripping. I have no problem showing off someone else's body. Fuck I might flop his cock out during the encore. I get on stage and just lose myself. There's just something sexy about thousands of people singing words you wrote. Unfortunately, haven't written a single song I'm playing tonight. I might suck and completely feel like a fish out of water or something.
So our turn to play comes. Everyone starts setting shit up for us. Then we ascend up a flight of stairs to the stage. The fucking sun is setting and it's glow is right in our fucking eyes. Great. Then the music starts to welcome to the jungle. I watch Izzy nervously walk up to the mic. He glances back at Axl who is doing a pretty good job of looking like Izzy. Izzy's hands grip the mic. He draws in a huge breath and screams into the mic.
"You know where the fuck you are???!!!"
I must say, I'm pretty impressed with Izzy. I watch as he starts singing to the audience. They aren't a very lively bunch. They're like talking among themselves. They're hitting up the bathrooms and concession stands. They're doing everything possible to not fucking watch the stage. This pisses me off actually. I m used to a fuss being made over me. Ignoring me is something I hate. I haven't been ignored in years!
Izzy has to be the most boring front man in the entire industry. He's just standing there holding the mic and singing. The singing is fine and all, but he's just not making me believe what he's saying. There's no emphasis, no body language, not even a sway. The show is fucking boring. I m playing a boring fucking show. I can't be on this stage with the crowd ignoring me. I grab a beer bottle and hurl it out into the crowd. This gets an entire section looking at me. It's an improvement but I'm still not satisfied.
Between song I rush backstage and grab a bottle of lighter fluid. I never go anywhere without it because I never know when my Zippo might run out of fluid. Being a junkie pays off in this case. I spray the fluid down the legs of Duff's pants and light myself on fire. I run back out on the stage just as the bass line starts. Now people are fucking looking in amazement. I just rock out on Duff's bass with a shit eating grin plastered to my face. The guys all look at me like I'm crazy but they go with it.
When we come off the stage Duff is backstage signing autographs to all the people who think he's me. But when he sees me he starts pushing his way over to me. "Man, that was my best pair of fucking pants! Look what you did to them! Theyre all melted and bubbled!"
"So I'll buy you a new pair," I shrug, "It's not like they're real leather or anything."
Then Axl approaches me in Izzy's skin. "What the fuck was that?"
"Theatrics," I say, "I had to get the crowd to pay attention somehow."
"We let the fucking music speak for itself. And your bass playing could use some work. Maybe worry more about that than trying to get attention. We aren't about entertainment to gain attention."
"What's the big deal?" I shrug Duff's shoulders, "It was a good gig. By the last song they were bobbing their heads."
"Just chill with the fire, ok? We aren't into pyrotechnics."
I roll Duff's eyes, "Whatever. It's not like I care about your stupid band anyway."
