Love Gun
Izzy's POV
What do you get when you cross an empty house with a raging libedo? Fucking fun, that's what. I've been out of the hospital a few days. I feel 100% recovered. Even my own body in Axls care is no longer addicted to heroin. I've got Axl holding me and everything is right with the world. This is as good as it has ever gotten for me. Im like so happy I'm smiling like a fourteen year old who just got stoned for the first time.
My head is resting in Axls lap. He's twirling my fingertips around my nipple. I smile up at him and he smiles back. Maybe I really did kill myself cuz there's no way in hell this shit could be real. No way. This is heaven. I'm certain of it. That's the only explanation I have of why I'm cuddling with Axl and he's actually touching me. When I look at him my face seems genuinely happy. And you can't even rate my happiness right now.
I'd waited so fucking long for this. So many years I told myself it was all in my head, that something was wrong with me for falling for Axl. Then once I realized I honestly did love him, I spent more years swallowing it all down and keeping it locked inside of me. Then this soul swap thing happened and the opportunity arose for me to finally tell him, after so goddamn many years. And I was hopeful for the first time that maybe he cared for me too. Then that magical night came. It was even better than this little slice of heaven I'm indulging in right now. But with the dawn of the next day it turned into a nightmare. Every time I looked at him I could see the regret on my face. Fuck it hurt so much. I felt like a complete idiot for getting my hopes up so high. It broke my heart every time Axl pushed me away, avoided me, or looked away from me. And it's basic psychology that when one person loves another but the other person doesn't love them back, you get one of two outcomes. Anger or depression. I guess I went with depression and took it to the enth degree.
But honestly, I was more homicidal than suicidal. It really was Axl that I was trying to kill. My soul inhabiting his body was just a convenient bonus. It hurt too much to be in the body of the person I loved. Everything reminded me of him because I was him. That's a pretty unique situation there. Just trust me, it sucks not being able to escape from the one who makes you feel rejected. They're there every time you look in a mirror. They're there when you use your hands. They're there when you walk. There when you shit, shower, and shave. There's no escaping them. So if you can't have them you try to destroy them. Or yourself. Or in this oddly unique situation, the both of you.
And when I woke up in the hospital I honestly got mad that I was still alive. I started plotting ways of how to finish myself off. I was just waiting for Duff to leave. Instead Axl showed up. It's probably a good thing cuz I was seriously gonna try again to finish what I started. Now it all seems so stupid. What a fucking drama queen I was being. That's shit Axl would do. But I did it. I'm glad it didn't work. Well I guess it worked in mysterious ways. Because of it I've got Axl. Talk about fucking reverse psychology, right?
I look up at my face but all my mind sees is Axl. He looks down at me. "What?" He asks.
"I just want to thank you for saving my life. I was stupid to do with I did. I'm sorry for giving you such a scare."
"Promise me you'll never do that to me again," he whispers and runs my fingertips across his lips gently.
"I promise," I whisper back and kiss my fingertips. I close his eyes and just give in to the ghostly ministrations of my fingertips across his body. Thank god I'm alive for this. Look what I would have been missing out on.
"Izzy?"
"Hummm?" I purr.
"Once...back in Indiana, maybe eleventh grade... I watched you fucking some girl out behind the band hall. I remember that I was actually watching you and not her. She looked good and all, nice tits tight ass...but it was you I couldn't stop looking at. And I honestly never read anything into it. But now... maybe I did want you all along."
"Really?" I smile, "Damn I could have totally been suave enough to be your first too. I had game in highschool. Plus, that would have made you my first guy. Fucking hindsight."
"I think things played out exactly as they were supposed to," he smiles down at me and strokes his cheek gently.
Mmmm God how I love hearing him say things like this to me.. Maybe we were star crossed lovers since birth. Took a long time to get up in synch, but we are now. And everything feels fucking perfect. This is the greatest high I've ever felt and I'm as sober as a judge. I'm high on love. High on life. High on Axl. And I pray to all that is holy and promise my soul to all that's not, that I never ever ever want to come down.
"Izz?"
"Mmmm?"
"Are you strictly a top kind of guy?" He timidly asks.
"Nope, I'll bend whatever way you want me to darlin."
And he blushes. I kinda look cute when I'm embarrassed. So I assume Axls imagining what it would be like to fuck me. He's only been on the receiving end, so his curiosity it expected. I'll gladly oblige that curiosity if he wants. Though I do know my dick is bigger and his body's not used to accommodating a dick up his ass. Then there's the fact that he's never done it before....Fuck it, I'm game. I'm game for anything on this earth that involves Axl. I'll do anything for him.
