With A Little Help From My Friends
Duff's POV
It was my day to sit with Izzy in the hospital. We all sit in shifts. It's been four days now and Axl's body still lays motionless in a hospital bed. Nurses come in every few hours around the clock and turn Izzy so that muscle atrophy doesn't set in. The doctors tell us we should talk to Izzy. He says it sometimes helps. Sometimes they even hear you. They seem pretty certain that Izzy's gonna snap out of this coma. All we can do is just wait for it to happen.
So when I'm here alone with Izzy I read to him. Mostly Rolling Stone because Izzy doesn't care about much more than music. There have been plenty of times that I remember that Izzy has actually gone to the trouble of stealing a Rolling Stone magazine because the cover caught his eye. He always says that one day we were going to see ourselves on the cover of the Rolling Stone. And maybe we will.
We all pitched in and sent a telegram to Izzys mom telling her that he was in the hospital and not to worry. Axl really wanted to call personally, but that wouldn't work when he sounds like Izzy. And none of the rest of us knew Izzy's mom personally. Naturally Nikki offered to make the call himself, but I think you can see how that would be disastrous. Nikki didn't have a sympathetic bone in his body.
I'm reading aloud an article on Motley Crue of all things. Maybe I'm doing it for research purposes. Or maybe I just wanted to read it since I'm sorta stuck being Nikki. I need to know how he talks to reporters. Plus it's the fucking cover story. That means that it has the longest interview. I'm all about killing time because someone in a coma is a terrible conversationalist. They never have an opinion on anything.
"It would appear that debauchery is the law in the Motley camp. Singer Vince Neil, served time in jail for killing his passenger in a drunk driving accident. Bassist and band leader, Nikki Sixx, consumes more drugs in a day than an entire hippie commune. Drummer Tommy Lee, is often transported by luggage racks because he's too wasted to walk. And..." I'm interrupted by a cough. I quickly look up and see Izzy pulling the feeding tube from his nose. "Izzy no," I say dropping the magazine and grabbing Axls hands that were trying to get the tube out.
Izzy blinks and looks up at me. He seems confused. He's probably a little fuzzy and thinking that I'm actually Nikki at his sick bed. And even fuzzy and freshly out of a coma Izzy knows that Nikki would never be at his bedside.
"It's me, Duff. I'm still in Nikki and your still in Axl. You've been in a coma four days man. That's just a feeding tube. You're in the hospital," I explain to him.
He nods and starts to relax a bit. I sit back down and he continues pulling out the feeding tube. "You think you could get me some real food? I'm sick of fucking baby formula," he says in a very dry raspy voice. His lips are dry and cracked. Axls voice wouldn't be right for weeks. At least Izzy's exhibiting that dry humor of his. That's gotta be a good sign.
I smile. "Good, you have an appetite. I'll call the nurse," I say and push the call button.
"Yes?" A nurse asks.
"He's awake! And he's hungry!" I say excitedly.
Moments later a doctor and a nurse come in. The doctor shines lights in Izzy's eyes. He checked his reflexes. He tested his motor function skills. He checked his cognitive skills. He seemed pleased and told the nurse to bring Izzy some food. The nurse removes a couple of the IV's and takes out his catheter. Then she leaves to get his food.
Izzy looks up at me with Axl's green eyes. "Where's Axl?" He says in Axl's scratchy voice. Axls eyes flutter nervously. If I didn't know any better I'd say that Izzy was expecting Axl to be here. But at the same time, Axl's the reason Izzy's in the hospital.
"He was here. He's here every day. He left a few hours ago to go shower and change clothes," I tell him. "He's the one who called 911." He just looks down and slightly nods. "Iz...did you try to kill yourself?" I ask and swallow the lump in Nikki's throat.
He sighs and stares out the window. "Duff... have you ever been in love with someone who just won't love you back?" He basically whispers.
"No, I guess not," I shake Nikki's head no.
"Well...it hurts," he says and I see a tear roll down Axl's cheek.
"He does love you Izzy. I think he's just scared. Mostly of hurting you. He's been a total wreck the last four days. He just needs more time is all." I try my best to make him feel better. The guy was suicidal four days ago. Right now he couldn't handle anything too heavy. I wanted to give him hope instead of hopelessness.
"No he doesn't..." he slightly shakes Axl's head, "he just doesn't want me. He regrets sleeping with me," he mutters still staring out the window as another tear rolls out making a new path. "I really thought that I meant something to him. The one night we were together...just the way he look at me..."
"No. He's taking all of this really hard. He blames himself for what you did. He knows he was wrong." I say and pray like hell I can reinforce his hope.
"He feels guilty?" Izzy asks and glances at me.
"Yeah," I nod.
Izzy wipes away his tears from Axl's face. "Well tell him I live for him to ignore me another day."
"Don't be like that... especially with Axl. I'm telling you, he's really sorry about this. I've never seen Axl like this before. He's not eating, he's not sleeping..." But Izzy quickly cuts me off.
"Is that my new job? Wait for Axl? Wait until Axl gets his shit together? Wait until Axl can be in the same room as me for more than five minutes? Wait for Axl to get over shit? No Duff. I've been waiting on Axl for most of my life. It's been the only fucking thing that I can count on. I'm done. I'm done waiting for Axl. I don't have anymore waiting in me. I have nothing left to give." And he sounds like a man that's just exhausted. He's given up.
"You can't give in. You just have to have more patience."
Izzy slightly smirks Axl's face, "I've been working on a song called that. If you could only understand the irony of it."
I reach for the phone next to Izzy's hospital bed. "I'm gonna let everyone know that you woke up. Axl's been going crazy waiting on this."
Then I feel Axls hand grabbing the phone. "No...not yet," Izzy says shaking Axl's head, "I'm not ready to face him."
