Son of a Bitch -- More SPN Imagines

Dean / I Had to Move On

(This is an imagine for WinchesterGirl4807 )

Dean's POV

God, I loved Isabel.

I loved her so much that I couldn't ever find the courage to tell her how I felt. I couldn't man up - for once in my goddamned life... And I missed my chance. She's gone now. And I regret it everyday. Every single damned day.

God, I miss her.

I miss the way her lips curved in that amazing smile. I miss feeling her close to me. I miss seeing her bounce around the bunker, always happy when there was absolutely no reason to be. She kept me happy. She kept me sane.

I lost my mind when I lost her.

It was my fault. I should've told her to stay, to not go with us. It was too dangerous - and I fucking knew that. She was strong as hell, but she couldn't handle taking on the Devil. She wouldn't let me talk her out of it. She was fucking infuriating, stubborn as hell. I hate that my most recent memories of her are when I was mad at her. I brushed her off when she tried to talk to me. I ignored her pleas, begging me to talk to her. I didn't even flinch when she said, "Fine, don't talk to me. We're talking about this later, though."

I wish we had.

I want to hear her yell at me for being stupid. I want to see her face get red as she grew angrier. I want to feel her hands on my shoulders, forcing me to look at her. I want so badly to just see her again, even if she was mad or wanted to kill me or whatever. Just something.

"Babe, there's someone at the door."

My eyes flickered up to see my beautiful wife, Lisa. I realized that I had been staring at the TV, but I don't even remember what I saw. I was drowning in thoughts, painful memories.

Lisa's eyes trained on me, worried. A smile appeared on my face, attempting to reassure her.

"Uh, what?" I stutter. Before she can respond, my mind recalls what she was saying. "Yeah, the door. Got it."

Lisa's eyes never leave me as I get up from my spot on the couch and make my way to our front door. I shake off all my thoughts about Isabel. I felt guilty for thinking about her. I had a beautiful wife, an amazing step-son, an unbelievably simple, apple pie life. Something I never thought I would be able to achieve.

I open the door, and my eyes meet Isabel's.

I felt like I was in a dream. My body was paralyzed. My mouth dropped open to say something, but nothing would come out. "Isabel?"

Her lips curved into that damned gorgeous smile. I about lost my breath at the sight - as if I wasn't stunned already.

"Hey, Dean-o." Her soft voice responds. She steps forward and her arms wrap around me in a tight hug.

It takes me a minute to process what's happening, but I soon find my arms around her as well. I scoff, not believing this. The feeling of her warm body against mine further confirms that I am, in fact, awake, and this is real. But how is this possible? She died at the Lucifer's hands, I - I watched it happen. I remember every moment, crystal clear. How did she come back?

Her body stiffened suddenly, her arms loosening around me. She pulls away from our hug and takes a step back, stumbling a bit. Her eyes are wide with surprise, staring at something behind me.

I turn around to Lisa's confused, almost hurt expression. Immediately feeling the tension in the room, I blurt out, "Lisa, this is Isabel."

Lisa's back straightens, and she seems to come back to her senses. Putting on a forced smile (I had learned how to recognize one after over a year), she reaches out to shake Isabel's hand. They shake awkwardly, and Lisa mutters, "It's nice to meet you."

"You too," Isabel almost whispers, her eyes flicking from me to Lisa. "So, you two are a couple?"

I open my mouth to respond, but Lisa beats me to it: "Married, actually."

Isabel nods, taking in the information. She takes another step backwards, finally looking as dizzy and confused as I was. "I'll - " She stumbles back as her foot finds the first step of our porch. "I'll talk to you later."

With that, she turns and hurries away to her car that's parked out front.

I watch her get in and start it up before Lisa shuts the door, blocking my view.

Her arms are crossed over her chest, obviously pissed at me. She was never the jealous type, but I wonder if she could feel the emotional tension between me and Isabel.

"She a hunting partner?" Her eyebrow raises in suspicion.

I nod quickly, muttering, "Yeah. An old hunting friend."

She squints her eyes at me, not fully believing me. After what seems like hours, she finally says, "Okay." and steps past me, into the kitchen.

I don't know how long I stood there, comprehending everything. Isabel was back. And I - I think I still loved her? I'm not sure. But I'm madly in love with Lisa - I could never leave her and hurt her like that, or hurt myself, for that matter. It wasn't fair to either of them that I had feelings for both women - it's fucked up - but I couldn't help it. They both hold special, different places in my heart.

I had no clue what to do.

Isabel's POV

With shaking hands, I scrolled through the contacts list on my phone, finally landing on Sam's number. I pressed his name and pressed the phone to my ear, my thoughts and emotions drowning out the ringing.

"Isabel?" Sam's concerned voice sounded abruptly.

I couldn't find the words to say anything, so after a few seconds of silence, Sam continues, "Listen, if this isn't Isabel, then - "

"It's me, Sam." I scramble to say. My chest is heaving with short breaths. I'm extremely aware of my rapid heartbeat - I can feel it pulsing with adrenaline and shock.

"Isabel? I thought -"

"I know, Sam, I know," I say steadily, "I don't know how I came back either. Where are you?"

"I'm with the Campbells." he replies.

"The who?"

"The Campbells, they're - okay, look, where are you right now? I'll meet you somewhere in between."

I tell him where I am, trying not to think about Dean's new life and why the brothers aren't together. Sam tells me to go to Hot Springs, Arkansas before we say goodbye.

Taking a deep breath, I put the car in gear and began my long journey.

(I hope you like this, WinchesterGirl4807 ! I'm sorry it took me so long to write!)

(If you liked this story, please give it a vote and/or comment if you would like a part two. Thanks for reading!)