Cold Feet (COMPLETED)

Yellow Carnation

Photo: Screen grab from Magnolia Icecream TV Commercial

When I was younger and more idealistic, I used to scoff at friends who let their boyfriends yell at them, cheat on them or treat them wrongly in any way. I always believed that I would never let anyone, least of all a mere guy, disrespect me in any way. I mean, the nerve! 

I find it funny when I look back how naive I was. 

I am lucky to have married someone who is nurturing and sees me as his equal. But he is not perfect, we hit a snag once when he succumbed to someone who was too "nice" to him at a time when I was building my career and was always too tired to be nice. I found out about it, we separated for three weeks but got back together because my nursery-level son was crying, wondering how he will explain that his dad lives in a different house (I sent hubby back to his parents). It was then that I realized my misguided views on love. No one is perfect, anyone is fallible. And you love a person for everything he/she is, faults and all. Of course there are limits, there's a time when enough is enough, when abuse is involved. But real love needs work to make it work.

We are still together, decades after that incident, stronger than ever. And like us, Dei and Richard will only succeed in their relationship, if they both work on adapting to each other, helping right the wrongs, and highlighting the good in each other. Forgiveness goes a long way, always remember that. A blessed Sunday to all:)

Dei quietly left Pallas Digital after that. This was their first fight, and she was mortified to have riled and questioned Richard for his decision not to include Shayne in the line-up. It was remiss of her not to consider the ramifications of including Shayne as a talent in their campaign. Everything Richard said was true, the image and personal backgrounds of their talents did count. He was in this business longer than she was, and it was wrong to question his judgement.

It was just that.......she was really fascinated by Shayne. She didn't know why but she kind of looked forward to working with Shayne, to see how Richard would interact with her, and hopefully, she would be convinced by what she saw, that it was truly over between them. She went as far as imagining being friends with Shayne, finding out more about Richard through her. It was weird, she knew, but she just had this compulsion to get to know her.

She went straight home, feeling dejected about their argument. She took a pint of pistacchio icecream and helped herself to the sweet and minty taste of her favorite dessert. She wondered what Richard would think, she left without telling him where she was going. He never called or texted her either, so she was imagining the worst. He was probably angry with her.

Suddenly her doorbell rang. She ran quickly to her room and changed into a dress, spritzed some body spray on. She paused to chide herself for being so pathetically eager to please him, when he had been a tad too harsh with her too. She opened the door and saw him standing, solemn-faced, looking at her. Wordlessly, she stepped to the side to allow him in.

She decided to speak first, since he already made the first move by coming over.

"I'm sorry if I left without telling you. I felt it was useless to stay if you were angry with me."

"How did you get here? Did Andrew take you home?"

"No. I took a cab. Why would I leave with him?"

"I don't know, I was too harsh with you and you probably got pissed with me. I asked the guard, he left around the same time you did."

"So you assumed we left together? Really, Richard?"

He didn't reply and just looked at her.

"Is it too much to ask for you to trust me? What will it take for you to believe that he's not a threat for us?"

"Back at you, Dei. What will it take to convince you that Shayne is not a threat?"

She stomped her foot in frustration and suddenly, it struck Richard how cute she was when she did that. Her breasts jiggled a little and his eyes were drawn to them, making him stifle a smile. It was difficult to stay angry with her. He missed holding and kissing her, and he was stupid for getting angry over something so trivial.

"I don't want to argue anymore Dei. I'm sorry I was harsh earlier, and I shouldn't have left you alone. Will listen to me explain, one last time before I hug you?"

"Just quit mentioning Andrew, ok? Ever since you saw us at Vanilla Bean, I've avoided going out with him, even if he's not really a threat. Please trust me."

"But I do trust you. It's him that I don't trust. You're too nice to him, he might hurt you again."

"He won't have the power to hurt me anymore because I have you."

"Dei, I'm going to tell you things about Shayne that I never shared with anyone. This should convince you that we're never getting back together." He took a deep breath and pulled her closer to him, sitting her on his lap.

"I owe Shayne my big break in advertising because she introduced me to her client friends. We were happy for the first year but towards the second year, I started getting busier. She partied with the wrong people and got hooked on alcohol and drugs. It got so bad that she started stealing money from me, and when I hid my money, she sold my things. My watches, shoes, even my laptop, which I luckily retrieved. I still tried to help her, we lived together so that I could monitor her better. But on our third anniversary, a friend tipped me she was with someone in a hotel and I followed on that tip, caught her in bed with a guy she barely knew. She didn't know what she was doing, because as usual, she was loaded. I felt that was the last straw."

Dei kissed his forehead and hugged him close, seeing how the memory saddened him.

"She seemed to have no desire to save herself. When I took her back to her parents, she would stay in rehab for a week or two then escape to come back to me, but while with me she'd still be on the habit. I felt bad that I could not influence her to change for the better. This morning she said she was clean, but for the sake of your job, I thought it better not to get her involved in your campaign. She's not a bad person, Dei. But she's self-destructive, and I don't want you to indulge in this fascination with her, because I know it will affect us. Please stop thinking we can ever get back together. It's you I want."

"Why do I sense that there's anger in you everytime we talk about her? I know she did things that were hard to accept but you were together for three years, Richard."

"Dei, picture this. I go home late from work, and I'm hungry, tired and in need of a bath. Then I see her lying on the bed, with her puke staining the sheets, the toilet bowl and the sink. So I clean everything up, including her. I wake up the next day, my wallet is missing, with all my important card and documents in it. I can't drive, so I take a cab to work. I take a week off from work to apply for a new driver's license and other government IDs, and then I get a call that she reports to a shoot stoned. It was a vicious cycle, Dei. If I'm angry and jaded against her now, I'm sorry. I'm tired of anything to do with Shayne. The day she cleans up is a good day for her because I want her to get better. But never to take her back. So much heartache hardened me. I'm sorry."

"Your anger scares me, Richard. I hope one day, when it is my turn to seek your forgiveness, you will find it in your heart to forgive me."

"Dei, what can you possibly do to me that will be unforgivable?"

He reaches pulls her closer for a kiss, blotting out all her negative thoughts. All is well, they enjoy the icecream together, making up for lost time.