Cold Feet (COMPLETED)

Bluebell

Late update, sorry my dears. From last week's sad day, I had quite a happy time yesterday and got too tired to write last night.  It's funny how it seems harder to write when you're happy.

I filed my resignation from my current job yesterday, because I was unhappy in my place of work. The job was consuming me, I felt it was taking away too much time from my family. I resigned without any job to transfer to yet, but I felt I needed to resign because of the anxiety attacks my current job was giving me. Then yesterday afternoon, I got word that I may have a new job already waiting for me! God is good all the time <3

When negative things get us down, we must not let it take over our lives. Sometimes we get lost in our sorrow or grief, we nurse grudges longer than necessary.  There seems to be a perverse kind of pleasure being derived from remaining miserable.  Snap out of it. Don't let these things define you.

In this chapter, Coleen is living in the past, letting her bitterness control her life. In contrast is Dei, who despite her emotional baggage, manages to get over her fears and takes a gamble at being happy, by letting Richard into her life, and he strives to make her happy. But he's not done yet. Find out what Richard has up his sleeve for Dei. Fall deeper in love with him, we all wish we had a guy like him in our life. Tell me about it in the comments section :)

A week before the wedding, Richard took advantage of the opportunity to meet with Coleen without Dei. He wanted to try and fix the gap between Dei and Coleen, to prove that having her come over from the US was not going to be wasted.

Coleen was waiting for him at the Starbucks Magallanes outlet, dressed provocatively in a halter-neck green dress that was cut low in front and mid-thigh length. She rose from her seat and hugged him too snugly, kissing his cheek, the spot near his jaw. He discreetly pushed her away, hoping he was wrong. He felt she was flirting with him only to irk Dei, and it made him angry.

"So Richard.......why Dei? Why her, when you can have any girl you want?"

"The question is, why not Dei?"

She smirked and rolled her eyes. "Look at you, you're quite a catch Richard. I've done my research and I must say I'm impressed. I understand why Dei would fall for you but—"

"I love Dei. It's as simple as that. Coleen, when I invited you to our wedding, all I wanted was for Dei to be happy. I don't want to invalidate your feelings but don't you think it's time to bury the hatchet? Why did you bother coming over if it isn't to wish her the best?"

"I came because I was curious. Seriously, I don't get what all the fuss is about. I don't get how someone like you would fall for a girl with so much baggage. I don't get why my parents went gaga over her and forgot they had a daughter, a real legitimate daughter who wanted a bit of the attention they showered on Dei."

Her voice cracked and her face twisted, trying to hide her bitterness. "Do you know what it feels like to graduate from kindergarten and have just your dad there because mommy is busy taking care of a baby that isn't hers? Or how my mother stopped cuddling me because the new baby wouldn't stop crying if mommy didn't pick her up? Such a needy brat. Even growing up, it was always about Dei. I could understand daddy loving her, she was his flesh and blood, but my own mother? How can she forgive my dad and love someone who was the fruit of my dad's unfaithfulness?"

"Why hate her? She didn't ask to be born, Coleen."

"I hate what she stands for. My dad was unfaithful, he had an affair with a student who didn't have the conscience to break up a family. And worse, they had a baby that caused her mom's death. Karma, don't you think? So why should I be considerate?"

"So when will this hatred stop? Is hating her making you feel better? Are you happy making her miserable?"

"Richard, it's not going to work, ok? I know you mean well, and I salute you for it. But Dei is always a sore topic for me. Nothing she does now will ever bring back those years I lost my parents' attention because of her. She's the reason why I was unhappy for so many years."

"Are you happier now? I don't think so. You're married, you have money, money that your parents left supposedly to share with your sister. And you took it all save for a small portion she asked for."

He ran a hand through his hair, exasperated at being unable to get through her.

"Coleen, my only request now is to let us get married in peace. Do not make a scene during our wedding, or you will deal with me. I mean it."

"Pffftttt. We're not in some shitty teledrama, Richard. I'm not the villain here."

"Your sister has Lupus, Coleen. If you do anything that will trigger an attack, I swear I'll forget you're a woman and hurt you."

His eyes blazed, and Coleen was awed by how handsome he was, even when angry. Damn Dei for being so lucky to have a man do things like this for her.

-----

He went home to an empty house, Dei was still out having a spa day with Janelle. He was hungry and checked the ref for food, and saw a small cake Dei baked for him. Inside the microwave was his lunch, ready to be heated. He felt warm all over, this was the girl he married, who always thought of his needs before her own.

He helped himself to the food he heated and reserved the cake for when she came back. He channel surfed for anything interesting to watch and saw some CSI re-runs. Mid-way he fell asleep, dreaming about a little girl with sad doe eyes.

He felt someone sit beside him on the couch and run gentle fingers over his hair. He opened his eyes to see her smiling at him, looking happy.

"Sorry baby, did I wake you?"

"No......it's ok. How was your day?"

"It was fun, Janelle is her usual crazy self. We had a great time. And you?"

"Just another boring meeting. I got here a little after lunch, had a late lunch then a nap. Missed you."

He made space for her in the couch and pulled her to lie down beside him. She smelled like vanilla, her skin even softer now after their spa treatment. She snuggled against him, her legs entwining with his.

"You smell yummy Dei."

"You smell yummy too, Jay. You smell like chicken." Her body shook with laughter at her own joke.

"Dei?"

"Hmmm?"

"I was wondering............"

"About what?"

"Do you ever wonder about your grandparents?"

"Sometimes."

"You want to go to Cebu after the wedding? We can check them out, but only if you want to."

"Jay......I don't know if they'd want to see me. Remember, they gave me away. They never looked for me."

"That was a long time ago. If they see you now, who knows?"

"I always wanted to have a picture of my real mother. But all I have is her name. On my birth certificate."

"That's good enough. I'll have someone work on it. I'll hire a private investigator."

"Why are you doing this Jay?"

He hugged her close to him, kissing the fragrant spot below her ear.

"Because I want you to feel like a whole person. I know that your past haunts you. So we'll fix it, ok?"