Cold Feet (COMPLETED)

Iris

Hi beshies, how was your day? It's been quite busy for me, since my son already checked out of the hospital, it's time for me to go back to reality, I need to report for work tomorrow. Ever get that feeling where you wish you didn't have to work and just ditch everything out the window? My feeling right now. I wish I had a work-at-home job and more time to be with my family.

Priorities change once you have children, and it's a daunting task for some women. Can you imagine what's going on in Dei's head, being so young, trying to cope with all the new things in her life and then boom, suddenly she's pregnant. The brevity of the situation is quite a lot for a millennial to bear.

Hit me with your comments my dears, can you see where all these things are headed? How could it have been addressed to avoid what was shared in the Prologue? 

Richard couldn't believe the news. Dei was pregnant, and they were getting married. Things couldn't get any better for him, he thought. He smiled and hugged Dei, happy that they would be parents soon. But she was not hugging him back and her body was passively standing as he hugged her. He noticed this as his excitement died down.

"Dei, sweetie, what's wrong?"

Her chin was trembling from trying to hold back tears, that fell anyway. Alarmed, he sat her down and got her a glass of water. He gave her a few moments to calm down, and suddenly felt unsettled. Why was she crying? Didn't she want to have his baby? He was trying to process her anxiety when she suddenly spoke.

"Jay, what do I know about parenting? I'm in a new job, we're getting married, and now we're going to become parents. Too many changes at the same time, and it's overwhelming. I'm scared, Jay. I'm not sure I can handle all this at the same time."

"We can handle this, Dei. I'm here, I'll help you. I'm new at it too, we will learn together. But tell me, honestly. What do you feel about the baby?"

"I don't know, Jay. I love kids but I've never been around them much. What if I fail as a mom? What if I do something to hurt the baby?"

"Why are you so negative all of a sudden? Dei, you're having my child. Doesn't it excite you to see how the baby will look like? Or did you ever plan to have kids at all? I'm sorry that we never talked about it. I should have asked, and I should have used protection."

She suddenly felt ashamed of herself for making Richard feel guilty. She was being her usual stupid self, fretting over things when she should be considering herself lucky. Richard was the complete package. He was a good man, and it was a bonus that he had the makings of a good provider, and good-looking to boot. He understood her, was always considerate of her feelings. Why was she messing it up with her meanderings that do not really help?

"Jay........Please don't feel guilty. We both got caught in the moment and I don't regret giving myself to you. That's where we're headed anyway. And hey, who would say no to a 'mini me' of you? I bet he would be adorable."

The transformation in Richard's face was instantaneous. His smile cleared his face and doubts, and it gave Dei an ease of heart to know she had this power to make him happy.

She stood up to sit on his lap but he stopped her. He turned her to face him and raised her shirt to kiss the smooth skin of her tummy. His lips lingered on that spot, then he buried his face there. She hugged him, feeling strangely protective of him. When he raised his head to look at her, his eyes were shiny with unshed tears.

"Dei.......you make me so happy, it gets scary sometimes. This child will be so thoroughly loved, I promise you. I will love the baby almost as much as I love you. But I will love you more, so that you will have a lot of love to give our baby, and you will never need to feel that you will be left out once our baby is born."

She gently wiped off his tears with her thumbs, and was finally allowed to sit on his lap. With his hand spanning her tummy, her hands on the sides of his face, his mouth meets hers. She gets lost in the spell of his emotion, and hands that always make her forget everything once they start touching her in her hidden places.

-----

Surprisingly, the weeks that followed were not as bad as Dei imagined. She was imagining feeling sick all the time but instead, she felt relatively normal. She just lost her appetite from some of the food she used to crave for, like ramen and laksa. She was also sleepy all the time, but wide awake at night.

At night she would feel cold even when it wasn't really chilly. She started feeling her breasts get tender and swell a little, and Richard teased her no end for it. But teasing aside, Richard was such a devout husband-to-be. He practically lived in her condo, catering to her needs and cravings, making sure he was there whenever she needed cuddling.

Dei was beginning to warm up to the idea of becoming a mom, especially when she felt her tummy slowly growing. The closeness that grew between her and Richard was something she treasured all the more, seeing how excited he was about fatherhood. Then one evening, Richard opened up about the wedding.

"Baby, we might need to get a wedding organizer now. You need to rest, you can't keep on with your current schedule even if you feel ok."

"But why? I'm enjoying this Jay, I like planning for the wedding. It's not too much work for me, promise."

"Dei, don't take on the work to save money, ok? We can afford to get an organizer. You need to rest."

"Okay.....I'll contact an organizer tomorrow." She yawned and stretched her arms.

"Tired, baby?"

"No, just sleepy."

He scooped her from the couch and carried her to the room. He laid her gently on the bed and slid beside her. He turned off the lamp on his side, leaving her side of the lamp open. Ever since she started living alone, Dei slept with a light on and had gotten used to it already.

"Pregnancy becomes you," he said, running a finger down her jaw, all the way down her neck and chest. Her breathing hitched, the featherlight touch of his fingertips grazing her skin. He turned his hand and ran his knuckles over the valley of her breasts, the swell of her left breast leaning against his knuckles as she was turned sideways facing him.

"You're just happy I have bigger boobs now," She joked huskily as his hand closed over her peak, his palm rubbing over her pebbled tip repeatedly.

"Is it bigger? Hmmmm....." He lowered the strap of her nightdress to expose her breast and flicked her nipple, watching her arm catch goosebumps.

She pulled his head by the nape to guide it to her breast, wrapping her legs around his hips. He obliged and took her breast in his mouth, lightly nipping its tip with his teeth, then using his tongue, he rolled the pebbled tip inside his mouth, sucking on it, his head moving as he pleasured her. He planted sloppy wet kisses around the outer swell of her other breast, avoiding her stiff peak, maddeningly frustrating her till she pulled his head to claim the waiting peak. Her lower hip started rubbing against his, her hands pulling his butt closer.

"Jay........"

"I thought you were sleepy?" He joked and got his ear pulled.

"Jayyyyyyyyy......"

He laughed as his hands were raising her nightdress over her head. His shy Dei was coming out of her shell and was now a temptress who knew what she wanted, when she wanted it.