(Idfk) Adopted By Phan

How

{the story in this chapter takes place about a month or two after the funeral}

We get home and I just feel numb. More numb than I've ever been. More numb that when I found out she was gone. More numb then when my- I mean tony stated beating me. More numb than when I would shove anything I could find down my throat to get rid of it all. More numb then when I slashed my wrist with a razor blade. More numb then when my mom died.
I wasn't aware this feeling even existed. And if you didn't know what had happened, you wouldn't have known it was even there. I went on like normal. But in my heart no matter what was happening there was just a giant hole. I would smile and feel happy, but the hole was still there. I would have the best day of my life, and then when I get alone that hole would consume me and I'd cry into one of my parents arms for hours on end.
They tried almost everything to help me. But a week ago actually filled the hole, even just a little bit.

I was sitting on my laptop. One of the times when I felt fine and the hole was just kinda there. Papa came knocking on my door frame.
"Knock knock. Anybody home?" He said
"Pops if the doors open you don't need to knock." I say giggling a bit.
"Oops. Well Dad and I have a surprise for you so come down stairs in 5 minutes. Ok?"
"Oh..kay?" I asked confused.
With that he left the door frame and I heard Dad yell a loud "Shit! Stay still!" That was when I got concerned.
I looked to check that five minutes had gone by and ran down the steps. As soon I hit the last step there's a fucking adorable ass tiny lil sheeb at my feet and it was barking and oh my fucking god I wanted to squeeze it and just never let it go and UHHHHH! I picked it up and looked and saw it had bright green hazel Hailey eyes. My heart melted. I looked at dad and Pop.
"Well what the hell is her name!" I say with a huge smile.
"That's up to you." Dad says. I look down at the bright green hazel color starring up at me.
"Her name is now Hazel." I say proudly. I would have named her Hailey but I didn't really wanna remember my dead soulmate every time I called for her to come to me.
"Hazel it is then!" Papa says.
I look at the small puppy in my hands and she jumps up and licks me in the face.
But that was last week and this is this week. I'm currently on my bed tearing through my room in a heavy panic.
"where is it where is it WHERE IS IT!" I say.
Dad then comes into my room to see the state it's in. Drawers open, clothes everywhere, With hazel sleeping on my bed oblivious.
"Faith what the fuck are you doing?!" he exclaims.
"I can't fucking find it!" I shout.
"Can't find what!?"
"The goddamn friendship bracelet that have with Hailey! She's is a fucking grave wearing hers and I have no clue where the hell mine is!" I shout at him.
"Faith you can't just tear through your entire room looking for a fucking bracelet!" he tells back.
"Oh yeah?" I ask, "fucking watch me." I say going back to looking.
"Faith!" he tells butt ignore him. I don't have fucking time for this.
"Faith!" he continues. I still ignore him as I continue looking. Finally he walks forward and grabs my arms.
"Dan what the hell!" I shout.
"Faith we'll find it but right now you need to calm the fuck down OK!"
"I can't 'calm the fuck down' because that bracelet is my one connection to her and if I couldn't be there when she was alive then I'm going to be there while she's gone!" I yell breathlessly.
I start catching my breath when Dan pulls me into a hug. I cry into his shoulder.
That goddamn voice that's always in my head starts whispering "it's all your fault" over and over again.
"shut up..." I whisper is the smallest voice I could. But it keeps going. The fucking antidepressants only help so much. Eventually I guess I just fall asleep on Dan's shoulder because everything just faded out.

I wake up to a clean room and my bracelet on my wrist, and Hazel in the bed next to me. I see a note on my dresser. "Phil found it while we were cleaning up-Dad" I pet the pupper, but let her stay asleep, get up and brush my teeth, put some new Band-Aids on my thighs, and go down for breakfast.
{prepare for the most fluffy wholesome family shit I've ever written. Like it's so fluffy I wanted to poke while writing but it was perfect so I left it.}

"Look at this! She's up before noon!" Phil says from the couch with Dan.
"Haha. Funny. Make funny the kid with insomnia lol." I mock, grabbing a bowl of cereal.
"You know we're only joking with you. Now come watch some TV." Dan says looking over Phil's shoulder to see me.
I go sit down on the chair and we watch TV for a while, me feeling content. I mean, I still feel like shit. Like completely like shit. But I'm with my family so it's all okay. I start to chuckle to myself for a second.
{warning fluff ends about here oops. also Phil's POV}

I look over when I hear faith chuckle.
"and what are we giggling about over here?" I joke.
She laughs.
"Ah.. Nothing. Just realizing you two are legitimately my only to friends that's all."
I look at Dan with a concerned look. But chuckle along with her a bit and Dan does the same. But you can tell we're uncomfortable. She starts to laugh louder.
"I mean, the actual one friend I had killed herself and I was in London how sad is that?"
She says. This when Dan and I stop laughing. Faith continues. Her laughs start to get a bit louder as she goes on about how sad it is until she starts crying.
"I mean you couldn't even wrote shit this sad could you!" she says through tears.
I look so Dan concerned. Faith pulls Herself together and says she's going upstairs.
"Uh.. Alright but are you alright?" Dan asks.
She turns and faces us.
"Don't worry. I'm fine." She says, coming to give us a hug.
"Alright. Are you sure?" I asked as she lets go.
"Ph-Papa I promise. I'm fine." she says, stuttering.
She walks up to her room and Dan and I share a look.
"I gonna give her ten minutes to cool off and then I'm gonna go check on her, okay?" he says seeing the concern on my face.
"Yeah alright."

So be prepared I'm only gonna have like two or three more chapters so I'm warning you. ALSO GRAB SOME TISSUES BABIES. And I'm sorry I take three and a half years to update everytime lol. BUT LIKE I HOPE IT'S A GOOD CHAPTER!