(Idfk) Adopted By Phan

Notes

So this chapter could be kinda triggering for some people. It's faiths suicide note. And I know I haven't really said any real trigger warnings before but this chapter will be pretty sensitive and go more in depth than Haileys note. You have been warned.

To whoever the hell finds this thing,
Hello I guess. The entire reason your reading this is probably because you wanna know why in the fuck I did this. Well their were thousands of reasons not too. But I wasn't strong enough. I just hope other people can be.
First of all my mental state was derailing. The antidepressants and anxiety meds weren't working anymore. It was almost as if my body was able to fight them off like the parasite they were. They made me someone I wasn't. I didn't like it. But there was just too much in my head. And I was so sick and tired of having panic attacks every other day. It was exhausting! I couldn't handle it. And depression wasn't helping much either I guess. I cried so so much and it was horrible. There was just too much going on in my head to handle!
I felt like I was burdening people. I just cried and slept and mad a mess all the time. And my parents had to deal with that. It just wasn't fair for them.
I was lonely. I mean sure I had my parents but that's all I had. I had no friends, I never left the house, I had isolated myself to the point of no return. And I wanted an escape from that.
And I know whoever finds this is probably gonna say, "oh you just did this to copy your friend huh?" But I didn't. I mean, sure I miss her with ever bone in my body, and sure I wanna see her, but if you're gonna blame someone dead, then you can blame my mom. She's the one I want to see. She's the one that I just want to be able to be with again, and she's the one I want to be able to spend every moment with. It's all I want.
So I also want to apologize. Mostly to my parents. They don't deserve this. And they were the main reason that I stuck around as long as I did. But all good things must come to an end. And that's why I, Faith Howell-Lester, will die, at 14 years old, 5 ft tall, on my mother death anniversary. Thank you.
-Faith

... so I'm sorry?
Ok so. *drum roll* DO YOU LIKE MY WRITING FOR SOME ODD REASON?? DO YOU LIKE RANDOM SHITTY IDEAS THAT COME INTO MY HEAD WHEN I SHOULD BE ASLEEP?? DO YOU LIKE CRAPPY KIMDA ROMANCE BOOKS THAT I WANNA WRITE BECAUSE I WANT TO NOT NOT WRITE ONLY FANFICTION?? WELL THAN DO I HAVE A BOOK FOR YOU!!
Ok so basically it's a book called "Beyond These Stars" and I basically had a dream, which was a big deal for me because I don't usually dream at all, and i stayed in bed all day just because I didn't want to stop the dream and then I thought," I could make a book outta this," SO I AM! So yeah! I have an idea for a fanfic in the works but idk about it yet so I wanted to start this one first. The only thing there so far is an introduction. And if you draw parallels between the main character Ryan and Faith in this story it's because they are both heavily based on me. So yeah this shitty book is over now. Goodbye!