Critics column - 2

Review - 12

Author: MissUnpopuLaur

Title: 101 Days of Summer: The Quest for Woodmist Begins

The title is certainly accurate based on what I read. The only problem I can envision is that it’s a lot for people to remember if they don’t add it to their library and search for it again. Usually, titles are shorter so it’s easy for people to remember them. It’s also easier for people to recommend your book if they don’t have to look up the complete title again to do so.

Cover:

It looks fantasy-esq in nature. I think the Fantasy category has some of the best covers on Wattpad. It’s hard to stand out there without something unique or professional looking. I might consider looking for a graphic designer in the threads or in a graphics book to see if you want to find something a little more eye-catching. The amount of green might make it easy to skim over on the app.

Overall:

Things I liked:

I really liked all your characters. I think they had a unique voice and appeal. Apart from the beginning of the second chapter, there is a good mix of dialogue and description so the reader is never bogged down in too many details.

I thought the poem as a first chapter was an interesting touch. That it’s written by one of your main characters is also intriguing.

The party scene is well described and seemed authentic.

Things you may want to consider:

I don’t know that the character list is needed at the start of the book. Usually, these are only used in really complex fantasy stories. So far, I have no trouble keeping the characters straight. I only read up to the fourth chapter, but it is hard to believe it’ll spiral so out of control that I can’t distinguish characters.

The start of chapter two when the scene is being set reads a little like a list. Instead, try sprinkling those details into the conversations that happen later in the chapter.

There are a lot of point of view (POV) shifts in each chapter. Sometimes the POV shift is marked by a scene change and sometimes the reader is brought into another character’s head without warning. It appears as though the majority of the story is being written in third limited, so I would work on minimizing and clearly indicating when the POV is shifting.

I’m not sure if the story is starting in the right place. I wonder whether it would make just as much sense to have the story start with school having ended and graduation having taken place already. Uriel wishes for a “new beginning” but in essence, with high school done and college about to start, she’s getting that whether she wants it or not. I wasn’t always sure of the purpose of chapter two. Every scene should advance a piece of the plot or clearly reveal a character trait/something interesting about the character. I wasn’t sure those scenes were needed to tell me specific things about the characters that I couldn’t be told in another way later in the story.

The chapter lengths were varied and, in my opinion, somewhat problematic. Chapter Three, according to Wattpad’s counter at the top would take thirty minutes to read. That’s a huge chapter. Many people are reading on the go on Wattpad (in class, on a train, while waiting for an appointment, etc) and the app doesn’t hold a reader’s place very well. I would consider splitting that chapter. You have a lot of transitions and scene breaks where it could easily be split.

Chapter Two is twenty minutes, which is maybe still a touch high but is doable. Chapter Four is about twelve minutes and is closer to the range that I usually think is pretty comfortable.

There are throughout the chapters the occasional tense shift and sometimes more words are used than necessary in the sentences.

Overall, I think the concept is really neat and your characters are highly likable.

Good luck!

RElizabethM