Title: Silent Shadow
Username: mini-vampire
Cover: Seeing the cover, my first thought was 'Oh no! Horror?' because I took the book at night time. Then I opened it again the next morning. Maybe it's just me. I still feel the book cover seems to be a horror thing even after reading the book.
Summary: Wow that summary. Can anything get your attention in two sentences? Yes, it can and it did. I remember Thirukkural while reading your summary. Thirukkural holds life's meaning in just one and a half sentence. I wouldn't compare ur summary to it but just saying.
Story: I don't know how to explain how I felt about the story in words. Excited? Felt the emotions? Felt the pain? I really don't know. It's one fabulous and heartbreaking story I have ever read. I usually skip these kinds of stories thinking it might be depressing. Yes, it is depressing but still, it took me back to the book again and again. Maybe because it is a kid's cry for help. I don't know.
The present and the past fits like a lock and key. A perfect mixture for the story to move forward. And I loved how you incorporated mystery into it. Mrs. Wayflower has a mysterious aura around her.
The good parts are all done. Now coming to the negative side of it, you need to improve a lot in writing. From your English, I think you are from the English speaking world. And you write as though u r speaking which would end up in awkward sentence formation. There are too many, almost 90% of the sentences are in awkward format.
I saw you have stated, there are grammar and punctuation mistakes and you are yet to edit them so I hope I don't have to comment on that. You need to rewrite the first two chapters at least and some action scenes. Don't do repetitive words like 'jump, jump and jump' in action scenes. Try to replace them with other words.
Even then, you are writing in third person pov, you still need to see the scene through one person's eyes. I mean, in the same scene, first, you bring out Eva's inner thoughts and then Mrs. Wayflower's. that's not right. If u r going to switch the point of view, make it as another scene or something.
Rating: Since you have asked for Level 1 review, I'm not rating the book.
Happy Writing :)
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Critics column - 2
RandomThis is a second part of critics column as we have reached maximum parts of previous book. Thank you so much for such great response! Status : OPEN Do you want a constructive criticism about your story? Need help with plot? We provide 2 type of fe...
