delivered

93

( this isn't particularly shitty but its just not how i write usually, i hope you don't mind :/)

"nan, i'm a hundred years younger than you and i'm pretty sure i can knit better than that," adrian rolls his eyes but hugs the loosely knitted sweater close to his chest, the fabric smelling both strangely and comfortingly like his grandmother-a faint scent of roses and a specific brand of detergent that she buys from the pits that were located deep somewhere in the northern part of england.

"okay you cheeky little thing, you don't have to abuse your nan like that," she pinches his left cheek and adrian scrunches his nose in response, leaning in the opposite direction so his cheek is free of the assault.

"mum! how many sugars in your tea?" phil yells from the kitchen, dan's cheeks flushing just by the sound of it, and he shifts his body closer to the edge of the dining table to hide more of himself. he had been trying not to act suspicious and give away anything to phil's mum, but it was getting harder every second phil pretended to enjoy their family gathering with dan present in the same room. he knew him just being there was taking a toll on every breath that encased phil's lungs.

"one please! i'm trying to tone it down," kathryn muttered, and adrian just giggled in response, shifting his chair more towards her so he could rest his head on her shoulder. the older woman just smiled adoringly, lacing her fingers through his textured hair and pressing an affectionate kiss to his forehead.

"oh dan! i almost forgot, i made you your favourite cookies!" she broke the uncomfortable silence, reaching into her bag and pulling out a medium sized tupperware container and placing it on the table, her eyebrows furrowing when she noticed the uninterested expression on dan's face. he looked as if he didn't even acknowledge he was being talked to-his eyes focused on the silver salt shaker in the middle of the dining table, his thumbs overlapping one another again and again, and his lips pursed.

"dan?" kathryn waved her hand in front of his face and then there it was, the lost expression startling all at once and the most heartbreaking of smiles on his face as he looked at her, eyes dim and devoid of colour.

"sorry i got-what were you saying?" his voice is anything but himself. there is no youth, no zeal in his tone, it sounds just as broken as he looks-carrying the weight of lethargy from something unknown to her.

"i," she paused for a moment before pushing the container of cookies across the table towards him. "made cookies for you, i know you love them," she smiled, soft crinkles forming next to her eyes and faint dimples carving in her cheeks.

"thank you, mum-mrs. lester, you didn't have to," dan bites his tongue, and kathryn brushes it off with a comforting smile.

"oh come on! look at you, as if you've never called me mum before," she leaned over and ruffled the frizzy mess of curls. "i have equal custody over you and phil," she states in a clipped tone and dan offers her half a smile.

not for long, he thinks but doesn't say it. there are a lot of things about which he is just thinking and not saying. most of them involve phil.

"you are like a super mum," adrian giggled into the older woman's shoulder and kathryn looked over at him with a confused smile. "i mean, you're everyone's mum," he stated as if it was a known fact, and she agreed with a small shrug of her shoulders.

"what's all this talk about mothers that i'm missing out on?" phil's voice had contradicting effects on the three people-adrian's head left his grandmother's shoulder to look at his father, kathryn simply held an element of surprise on her face because of the sudden voice and dan, he proceeded to bite his lip and hide the redness of his cheeks by running his palms over his face.

dan's efforts of not meeting phil's gaze went downhill once phil cleared his throat, placing a cup of tea in front of dan as well, dan's cheeks flushing further at the gesture as he looked up at phil, mumbling a small 'thank you' that went unnoticed by the older man.

"nothing, adrian here has concluded that i'm the ultimate epitome of motherhood," she said with an accent thicker than her original one, accompanied by a playful wiggle of her eyebrows as phil shook his head and giggled, his laugh seeming more genuine than dan's.

"i just said you're a super mum, but sure, whatever floats your boat," adrian rolled his eyes, pushing the hair covering his forehead under his beanie and smiling cheekily at the older woman.

"you are a very annoying child," kathryn mocked him empty heartedly, phil taking one of the chairs next to her so he can sit down. "unfortunately for me, those are the kind of children i've always been around," she nudged phil, and phil just laughed in response.

"hey!" he pouted, just for the dramatic effect and kathryn shrugged, grabbing the mug of tea and blowing on the hot liquid before taking a sip.

"you're not having tea?" kathryn raised her eyebrows suspiciously at phil, and he just scratched the back of his neck.

"well, we only had enough for two cups, i had no idea we were running out because usually da-i mean," his cheeks flush with discomfort, and his eyes travelled involuntarily to dan who was still biting his lip, trying to cower as much as possible as if to hide himself from the family of three, that was no longer his.

"i mean yeah, we haven't been to, uh, grocery shopping recently," he finished and kathryn tried not to pay much attention to the obvious tension between the couple.

after a few seconds dan just slid over his cup towards phil, still afraid to meet his eyes because he was sure that he was on the brink of bursting into tears yet again.

"you can have it, i already had tea a while ago," he mustered up enough volume in his voice so that people could actually hear what he was saying instead of just jumbled sentences.

"it's fine i don-" phil didn't want to argue, he didn't want to do anything with dan-atleast that's what he told himself-but the misfortune of falling so impeccably in love with dan made him want to hear his voice again just because it had been a couple hours.

"excuse me," with that dan left the table, the air too thick to breathe and his tears too many to hide, and made his way towards the bathroom.

--
please yell about how long it has been here

aLSO im so sorry i was just lacking inspiration ???????? i have my summer break rn so hopefully i'll be updating this as well as other things soon !!

love you guys i hope you have a good day !!

and let me know if this way of writing bothers you maybe its not that much of a difference, maybe i just think there is kmsksmksm