epilogue : part 1

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hecky dizzle wasn't expecting those many comments!!

"do i look okay?" phil asks quietly, smoothing his hands over the navy blue shirt and studying his hair cautiously in the mirror. he had gotten rid of the fringe sometime last year and for now he was enjoying the shortened sides and the mass of hair pushed right off his forehead in a messy quiff. he looks over at adrian for reassurance and the sixteen year old just gives him a toothy smile and sticks two thumbs out to show his approval.

"i think you should wear your glasses instead of contacts," he suggests. "you haven't been wearing contacts anyway so why are you wearing them today?"

"i'm meeting my husband after three years, the least i could do is look attractive," phil jokes. dan wasn't a touchy subject in the household anymore, he was just a reminder of how much phil has grown as a person.

"no, the least you could do is be yourself, so lose the contacts good sir," adrian tips his head sarcastically and phil rolls his eyes at him fondly. he can't put his love for adrian in words, the pride phil has for him is something that makes his chest swell and his breathing easier. the first month of dan leaving was probably the hardest for him, too many days spent inside just crying, too many days where he missed school, too many failed classes, too many calls from concerned teachers, too much crying and breaking and loss of appetite. but he's been handling himself well now.

he's the captain of his school's junior football team, he's acing all his subjects, every wednesday after school he goes by the orphanage and plays games with the children and he often accompanies his grandmother in making several monstrosities in the kitchen. he's discovered a new passion for cooking and a hefty bookshelf in his room is filled with recipe books and cooking show dvd's. there have been times and times again when he has surprised phil by creating dishes he can't even pronounce, and needless to say phil is glad to see him make progress and find his interests.

phil's mother and father have been living with him since the past two years, he wasn't in a very good state of mind when they moved in. he had gone to work for approximately fifty days in the entire year, and he had spent more than two weeks in the hospital because he was just throwing up too much. his appetite was lost and so was his will to do anything but stay in bed and sulk, and to this day, he still feels guilty for putting adrian through all of that.

he had turned to alcohol as well, getting drunk just so he isn't left alone with his thoughts, too many emotional breakdowns to pay attention to anything but his broken heart. two months after his addiction, adrian had finally confronted him, sitting in phil's bedroom and crying his eyes out and telling him to pick himself up. he remembers how adrian had yelled at him, he was younger then, his high pitched voice yelling concerns and throwing several cards of therapists he'd been looking up. that was the time he had decided that he had done enough damage and he needed to fix himself, if not for anyone else then for adrian.

he had been seeing a therapist every two weeks now for the past year, and things were a lot better. no longer were honey curls with matching eyes haunting his sleep and the reminder of dan was lot more gentle on his slowly healing heart. he had been on a few dates this year, neither of them could compare to what he had with dan but at least the pain in his chest had died down significantly enough so he doesn't feel like crying every time he sees a married couple.

"papa's calling," adrian informs him, and phil snaps back to where he is standing in front on the mirror, his thick black rimmed glasses now shielding his eyes. he feels his heart race in his chest, after a long time it's not out of panic and frustration and anger. it's just because he has missed dan terribly over these years and he has restrained himself enough to not hear his voice or look at him or know how he is doing.

the last image phil has of him is a heartbreaking one, where dan's voice was merely above a whisper, his face was a ghostly pale colour splashed with purple bags and red bitten lips, and his pretty brown eyes were nothing but just shells that lacked any sort of emotion. he knows dan has been in contact with adrian and his own mother but he couldn't bring himself to actually know how he is doing without phil.

"yeah he's getting ready,"

"stop cussing,"

"someone's eager,"

"woah, slow down mister,"

phil giggles slightly at the casual tone of adrian's voice, it makes him unnecessarily happy that adrian is on good terms with dan after whatever happened. he knows that they have been meeting frequently, and adrian has spent a lot of late nights chatting to his father but the reminder makes phil smile nonetheless.

he feels it now, the heat in his cheeks, the warmth in his chest, the shakiness of his hands-he's been anticipating seeing dan again for a quite a while now. they have texted each other a bit, nothing too personal or invasive, just small talk asking how each of them are doing and setting the timings of their friendly reunion or 'date' as adrian calls it.

"he just called you lester dude," adrian laughs and phil can't stop himself from joining in, his hands flying up to cover his mouth so he can muffle the noise.

"even after three years he doesn't fail to offend me," phil rolls his eyes and adrian gives him a warm smile, getting up from the bed and pushing phil out of the door.

"come on, hurry up, don't be late for your date," he reaches up to fix the strand of hair that had fallen across phil's forehead, before grabbing his shoulders and leading him out the door again. adrian is so much taller than he was earlier, he's almost over phil's shoulders.

"it's not a date," phil grumbled, straightening out the collar of his shirt and pressing a kiss to adrian's forehead before leaving.

"go get your man!" adrian yells once he shuts the door and phil can't help but roll his eyes, gripping his car keys tightly between his fingers before making his way down the stairs.

--
lets play a game of guess who is crying

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