delivered

99

dan sits alone on the dewy wooden bench in the park across from their--phil's apartment, a half empty tupperware container being the only thing that accompanies him, his feet scruffing against the multiple blades of grass that carpet the small area.

the air is comforting in a strange way, it's chilly yet soft, twirling the curly strands of his hair each time the sky decides to breathe, rolling over his cheeks swiftly and painting them a brittle shade of rose that can hardly be seen at this time of the night. the atmosphere above his head is swirling with dark shades, similar to dan's emotional state but a lot more calmer, a lot more scattered.

dan takes another bite of his favourite cookies in the world, mentally appreciating mrs. lester's cooking skills and just like every other time, he tries to figure out what the hell she puts in them to make them this irresistible. he knows he's avoiding the situation, avoiding the fact how phil completely broke down on the line but he doesn't want to think about it too much.

he knows exactly what phil was thinking when he called him, it heals his heart in a strange way to know that phil still cares, and then breaks it all over again when he thinks of the fact that his actual death would be one of the only things to get out any emotion from phil.

he shakes the irrational thought out of his head and bites into his half eaten cookie.

he tries to focus his attention elsewhere--that was the reason he stormed out of the apartment in the first place--his eyes raking across the small biosphere around him; unaccompanied and rusty swing sets, random patches of tall grass shielding random poles scattered in the garden, trees whispering to the cloudless land above and stars struggling to shine through the thin layer of fog in the air.

dan settles on the stars, squinting harshly at the sky as if to make the fog suddenly disappear, but obviously, it doesn't work, so he gives up too soon, pushing the last piece of the crumbly biscuit in his mouth and dusting off his hands, his eyes moving from his shoes to his phone that rested next to him.

it had been only seven minutes since phil last called him but the short time period felt impossibly long when your fingertips were freezing and your tears were creating stalactites on your cheeks. he picked up his phone hesitantly and bit his lip before dialling phil's number.

surprisingly, he answered on the very first ring.

"you okay?" was the first thing phil asked when he answered, an undertone of panic lacing his voice and dan could feel himself shrink smaller with the guilt of making phil feel this way.

"um, y-yeah, i was just asking where you were--" dan trailed off, resting his elbows on his knees nervously as he awaited a response and phil only sighed.

"i'll reach in another five minutes? are you home?" despite of the harsh weather, dan could feel a sudden warmth flush down his chest when phil actually called the apartment their home. he was already struggling to accept the idea that it was no longer his, but phil saying that made an irrelevant little hope rise in him.

"no, i'm at the park,"

"you-you were at the fucking park while i was driving around like a madman searching for you?" phil didn't sound mad, just surprised, but dan felt the need to apologise to him. really, he couldn't apologise to him enough for all the shit he has done.

"i'm sorry i had no idea you would get this worried,"

"you're my husband--i mean was--i mean," phil bit his lip nervously before speaking, and dan just held his breath, his eyes widening slightly at phil's words. "i mean i still care about you,"

although the words were better than anything phil had said earlier, it was still a painful jab to his heart.

"you don't love me anymore, do you?" dan whispered, a strange, ironical humour slipping in his tone as he laughed dishearteningly and phil just didn't have it in himself to lie so he simply dismissed the conversation.

"i can't answer that dan,"

--

ayy double update to make up for the shitty laptop chapters i hope u appreciate

also

im reading this yoonmin fic and its my first and i love it so far omg im