Loving the stars. ~ Jhope

15.Haunted by the truth.

~I feel afraid of this truth that haunts me and whispers into my heart, "YOU LOVE JHOPE".~

It was Tuesday, other than being this day dull I was already worried because I didn't see Jhope in the School. He was absent. I couldn't even talk to him to know the reason, that stressed me more.

As I was walking through the corridors I saw stupid Jisu talking on phone.

I let my books fall on the floor as I quietly eavesdropped at her conversation.

"JHOPE BABY, I MISS YOU SO MUCH. PLEASE TAKE CARE.

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. BABY"

WHAT? WHAT THE HELL. SHE'S TALKING TO JHOPE.
LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU?

These words dropped at my ear as an atom bomb that once blew Japan and now were causing havoc to my poor ears and heart.

Immediately I felt anger encircling me and each and every feature of mine overspreading with jelaousy.
Clenching my fist and thinking of nothing else to do to vent my anger in any other way, I picked up the books and went past her, hitting her slightly making her phone drop to the floor. THAT ENDED THAT CALL.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING. Atleast look where you're walking you jerk."
She shouted at me.

I let out a chuckle and an evil laugh in my heart.

¤¤¤

Weeks passed by and I distanced myself from Jhope. Never did he know how much my heart was suffering. How much pain I felt doing so.

After reaching home, I checked ny messages.

Messages:

Hey Yoonhaya my grandmother is recovering fast. She's better thankyou for giving hope.
Received 10:30 pm

Yoonhaya, What has happened?
Received 11:05 pm

Why are you not talking to me? You're not even attending my calls
Revcieved 11:07 pm

Why are you avoiding me Yoonhaya? It hurts.
Recived 11:10 pm

Im sorry If I did anything wrong.. :"(
Please forgive me Yoonhaya
Talk to your hobie atleast..
Received 11:35 pm

If only I could reply to these.

¤¤¤

I was sitting idly in my class, when jin whispered in a low voice.

"Look at your best friend stealing glances at you, Yoonhaya." A smirk playing on his face.

I shot a look at Jhope, an eye contact after weeks. His eyes already filled with questions.

Jin suddenly brought his face closer to mine and pecked my lips.
Was this peck to make Jhope jelaous?

I looked at Jhope and again that strange expression covered his face.

¤¤¤

My daily routine of School followed only three things.
1.sitting with Jin.
2.to endure the pain Jin gives me.
3. Avoiding Jhope.

This schedule continued for days when one day, After this episode I went to the locker area to grab some books and little did I know another episode waited for me there.

As I closed the locker I saw a familiar face standing two lockers away.
I wasn't at all surprised to see Jhope for, I knew one day he would strike.

He started moving closer to me, his eyes never leaving mine. I glanced at those eyes which were trying to find answers to its questions.

I tried my best to avoid him. I walked away from him but he stood in front of me blocking my way.

"Why are you avoiding me Yoonhaya?" He asked in a soft hurtful voice.
"Have I done anything wrong? If I've hurt you any way. Im sorry." He added.

Jhope, why are you apologizing when its me who needs to apologize to you.

I didn't answer his question instead walked past him when, felt a grip over my hand.

"Don't do that to me Yoonhaya." He complained in the most painful tone.

"You promised me one night that you will never stop talking to me."
His words and the pitch of his voice trembled my very heart. The promise he took from me weeks ago.

Yoonhaya
Dont be weak. Stay strong. Control your tears. I tried to console myself.

I bit my lower lip, trying to hold back my tears.
Luckily, I saw Jin approaching that gave a different feeling.
I faced Jhope just to throw my harsh words at him again.

"I may have promised you but now I am breaking it." Immediately I released my hand from his grip and ran to Jin.

I hugged Jin and gave a small kiss at his cheek.

"I don't know why people bother us so much? Lets go from here." I said to Jin.

I took Jin away from there, cursing myself all the way.

¤¤¤

That day I cried the entire night. The whole mistake was mine yet he apologized.
I would never forgive myself for what I did today to Jhope. He will hate me. He should. But never do I want Jhope to hate me.
I curse myself as tears started to make its way out of my eyes dripping over my cheeks.
It was all for you Jhope. I really didn't want Jin to harm you at any cost. I may get hurt but I can't see you in pain.

Do I love Jhope? Have I fallen for him too?

What do you mean by Too?
The other part of my heart spoke.

You have always loved Jhope. At the camping trip you felt so jealous of Jisu whenever she tried to talk to Jhope, still you feel jealous of her.

But I love Jin. He was the first ever person for whom I fell.

No. It was just infatuation. Your heart never loved Jin. It has always craved for Jhope.
Remember when you always wanted to kiss Jin and when his lips fell on yours yet you felt incomplete?

You want Jhope's touch. You need Jhope Yoonhaya. Your heart wants Jhope.

YOU LOVE JHOPE.

Nothing could I do Just to succumb to the fact that I love Jhope. The part of my heart that strived hard at adopting the fact that I still love Jin defeated.
Never in my life have I ever loved Jin.

I have always loved JHOPE.

I've always loved his face where the sunshine of a hundred summers live.
I've always loved his eyes that communicates the most. His eyes are a world where different emotions dwell
I've always loved his words that speaks the truth and always shines.
I've always loved his lips that never touched me but still I love the magic of those lips whenever they parted to speak.
I've always loved his warmth that always pleased me whenever life was cold at me.

The truth that came out today that I was always in love with Jhope but never did my heart accept it. But still I had a fear
Will Jhope love me back?

~~~~

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