Loving the stars. ~ Jhope

32.Courage.

~Fear was always a part of me but it was his love that gave me strength, that gave me courage.~

▪Jhope's Pov▪

I was sitting there in my own thoughts and trying to put together my shattered pieces of life, When I realized the sudden elapse of time. An hour passed away and there was nothing to be heard behind the door just silence, pure silence.

Slowly, I unlocked the door and peeked outside the room only to discover her lying by the wall, asleep.
A sudden wave of guilt jolted against my heart because of her condition, as she lay there weakly. She was there all because of me, because of my existence.

Gathering her in my arms and gently carrying her up from that hard floor, I layed her on my soft bed, that was eager to nestle her. Covering her with the softness of the blanket, I kneeled down and kissed her forehead. It wasn't just the forehead but every single part I wanted to kiss that must have hurt when I threw her out.

Yoonhaya, you maybe mad at me for doing what I did, but do you even know why I did this?
It was because we both were too busy enjoying our lives, lost in each other's essence that we even forgot that a disease like cancer exist. How did I even forgot about it and let us be that close. We both were living in our fantasies. You took me in your world, in your arms away from the reality that was chasing me, but I was being pulled back by that phone call. The call, that was from Dr Jeon, telling me about the results of my report that I submitted without you being acknowledged. That said, I don't have much days left with me. The call that acted as a reminder preventing me later that night when I was about to....
Thank God, I stopped and didn't let my desires take over me, otherwise I would have ruined you entirely.

How can I be so careless? How can I stay so close to you, knowing the fact that one day I have to leave, the embrace that always protected you have to wither away.
I'm sorry Yoonhaya for hurting you.

▪Yoonhaya's pov▪

It wasn't the light of the fresh dawn that brought me back to consciousness, but the warm drops of liquid that fell on my hand.

Freeing my eyes from the darkness, I opened them only to see him kneeled down and holding my hand. Not even taking time to evaluate how I was being brought back to the room. I melted when saw his tears.

"Jhope?"

Hearing me and seeing me awake, he instantly got up just to embrace me entirely into a tight hug.
"Yoonhaya, I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY. I'M SORY FOR BEING RUDE."

Pulling myself from the hug, I faced his teary and broken form. The tears that cascaded his eyes were not at an ease. It went wild with his thoughts.

"Please stop crying. You shouldn't apologize because last night, I knew exactly which situation you were going through. You're not the one who should apologize but me. It was all my fault. I was acting childishly."

"Why do you care so much Yoonhaya when you know it's going to hurt you?"

"Because I love you."

"But this love would destroy you someday.."

"It won't. Last night I was bewildered at your acts but then I understood it was the fear of me being getting too attached to you.
Your love would never destroy me, Jhope. It will always make me even more stronger, giving me the courage to fight with my problems."

"You're getting stronger. It feels I've achieved the purpose of my life." Being utterly happy, he hugged me again more tightly before gently landing a kiss on my forehead.

Suddenly, the intensity of his hug decreased as his hands loosened. The arms that were wrapped around me, comforting me, now fell to the bed. Leaning a bit back, I saw his body that collapsed on my shoulder.
"Jhope?"
Pulling his body off me, I met his eyes that were shut, his nose that was bleeding. He had fainted. It felt as if the land sunk beneath me.
"JHOPE JHOPE WHAT HAPPENED? OPEN YOUR EYES?"

Shaking him thoroughly and in a state of bewildrement, I called the ambulance.

Upon reaching the hospital, he was taken to a room hurriedly because there was a lot of blood loss. His condition was mounting terror in me, the sudden irrational fear of something that I didn't expect at all.
With my heavily breathing heart, I stood outside the room waiting for him, eagerly.

After an hour, the room opened and the worried Doctor revealed himself.
Rushing towards him, I asked with the earth trembling beneath me.
"Doctor what had suddenly happened to him? How's he? Please tell me is he alright?"

"He hopefully is fine."

"When would he be discharged? Can I take him home today evening?"

He didn't answer me this time. Just kept his face directed towards the window that revealed unconscious Jhope.

His silenece told me everything. The way he looked at Jhope told me everything that I needed to know. With harshly pounding heart I succumbed to the fact that Jhope won't be discharged. He won't be returning back to his home.

"I hope you're not hiding something from me? Are you? Please Doctor be clear. Please." I begged him with unstoppable tears.

"Ah! Don't worry little girl. It's just that keep him happy and engaged. Also, you shouldn't cry in front of him or else see him suffer more."

He wasn't a good Doctor at all, He didn't even know how to lie properly. And that was the whole thing that I could see behind his words, the lie, the worry, the fear.

Walking with weak legs, I went into the room where Jhope laid. He was sleeping for a while.

He opened his eyes when felt my hand placed on his.
Removing the oxygen mask, he tried to speak in a low pitched tone.
"Yoonhaya." He said as he tried to sit up.

"No Jhope don't try to sit up. The Doctor said you need rest."

Gazing intently into my eyes, he gave me a shudder through that weak stare as if attempting to read my eyes.

"You've been strong Yoonhaya." He stated as his lips curved into a weak, faint smile.

Not a tear came out of my eyes. It was his condition that scared me yet I didn't cry. I had to stay strong, not for my ownself but for him. And he noticed that, the strength in my eyes and how I was fighting back tears. It was amazing how he could read me like an open book.

"Who said so? I asked.

"The courage in your eyes."

~~~~

Guys, just few more chapters to go.😶
I'll be ending this book soon.
*cries in korean.*😭😭

Thankyou for staying connected.❤🙆