Despacito~♡~ Jamilton ✓

19

(anotha quick update cuz I just kicked ma dog/ she fine dont worry ok here's the chap)

Thomas Hefferson...get it-

I wake up with in an unfamiliar bed in an unfamiliar house. I sit up slowly and look around.

Oh yeah.

I slept with Maria..

I sighed and rubbed my face, looking for my beautiful ex. I stand up and pull my shorts on before going into her bathroom.
I wrap my arms around her waist as she does her makeup in the mirror. "Hey."

"Heyy.." she giggled, applying her- what is it? Some stick with a brush. She put it on her eyelashes.

"G'mornin'..." I mutter, laying my head in the crook of her neck between her shoulder. She smelled like that expensive perfume I bought her a few months back.

"Morning, Thomas. Hun, honestly you need help." She said, spinning around and turning towards me.

I sigh. I really do need help if I'm completely honest. I can't keep coming to my ex whenever I need help. "I know.." I admit. She caresses my cheek and smiles. "I love you, and you know that. But we've gotta move on from this. We can't keep seeing each other and only talking when we need a booty call. We can't be fuck buddies. We're adults now. We've got to learn to deal with our lives and just handle it like a normal person."

"You're right." I say and she pecks my lips, strutting past me.

"Name a time when I was wrong?" She said over her shoulder.

I laugh and roll my eyes. "Ha- okay whatever. Are the girls up?"
She peaks her head out of her room but then quickly sticks it back in. "Nope!" She laughed.
I smile at her and go back into her room. I set forty dollars on her desk (because she's dirt broke and I don't want her going back to prostitution) and get my clothes up.

I quickly take a shower before leaving her dorm she shared with one of the Schuyler sisters and my old crush, Sally Hemmings.

I walk outside and sighed. I've been feeling this numb feeling a lot lately. I wasn't happy, but I wasn't sad, it was as if I couldn't feel emotions anymore. Sure I can fake being happy or fall under Maria's seduction, but I could never be satisfied.

I'm not. I'm not proud of what I do and I'm not proud of why I do it. But I do know that I have to stop. Maria was right.

We're adults. We have to make decisions on our own, handle things on our own- ask ourselves, what would Jesus do?

I continue walking down campus, stopping to get a cup of tea. I have nowhere to go. No one to go to.

I literally don't have nothing to do.

I take out my phone and checked on Instagram. I got forty five likes on a selfie I posted yesterday. That's not bad but I'm used to more. I get off of Instagram.

How bout I text Jemmy?

MacaroniAndMee
Hi

SickInLove
Y u come randomly frolicking into my inbox saying hi?

MacaroniAndMee
Im bored and I wanna talk to my old friend. Is that illegal?

SickInLove
Fine.

MacaroniAndMee
So how's life?

SickInLove
Same boring shit everyday. U?

MacaroniAndMee
Nun. Walking around campus.

SickInLove
Cool

Putting away my phone, I wait at a crosswalk in silence. It seems so quiet.