M.O.N.E.Y • viktuuri ✔️

38.| tears

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"victor, wait - "

victor was already pushing past those on the landing to get away from the sight of jj leroy's mouth again yuri's soft skin and soft lips.

"victor, wait - " yuri said, his soft voice wavering, but victor roughly shook off his arm. he wanted to forget it; to laugh about it, have a drink and forget it.

he knew that if he had something in his bloodstream it would have taken off the edge of the sight of jj breathing in yuri's bubblegum scent. it would have number the pain; an even greater pain than that of his aching arms longing for yuri's warmth.

"victor, wait - "

victor couldn't stand to hear his soft voice calling his name against the ear-splitting music. every word he could hear reminded him of jj touching his angel, and his angel letting him.

"victor, please, let me explain, wait - "

he couldn't walk away from him, and he couldn't ignore his soft voice no matter how hard he tried. victor grabbed yuri's wrist hard and pulled him into another guest bedroom. victor told the two people at each other's mouths in their to "fuck off," before he slammed the door and looked into yuri's blowed brown eyes, the eyes victor had longed to see after endless nights of worry, unanswered texts and aching, empty arms.

"what are you doing?" yuri asked, his soft voice shaking.

"i don't know," victor laughed, shaking his head and shrugging. "i don't know, but right now, the thought of walking away from you fucking hurts."

"then don't," yuri whispered, almost inaudible against the thumping music from the speakers downstairs. "then don't walk away."

"i don't want to fucking look at you," victor spat at yuri, thumping his hand hard against the closed door of the bedroom. yuri jumped, frightened.

"i don't want to fucking look at you," victor repeated, slower than before, his accent jagged and rough, as if his throats was filled with glass shards, "after what i just saw, you hear me?"

"victor - " yuri grabbed his arm once again, and once again victor tore himself away as if yuri was dirty to the touch.

"don't fucking touch me," victor went on. "not after he has touched you. what were you doing, yuri? why, yuri?"

victor realised that he sounded as if he was on the verge of tears, and started to laugh again.

"fuck this," he said, between laughing and shaking his head at the white-faced yuri. "why should it matter so much to me who you let in your jeans, huh? why the fuck should it matter to me so much. just go, ok? just go?"

because you love him.
because he's your angel.
because he's your baby.
because you want to hold him in your arms and tell him that he's worth so much more than sex.

"it was only for the money," yuri got out in a trembling voice. "i didn't want to do it, but celestino said eighty at the least tonight and jj was all over me so i just - "

"you could've just asked me for the fucking money," victor shouted. "jesus christ, yuri, it's not like i haven't got enough. what's wrong with you?"

"because i was too embarrassed to do that," yuri cried, his voice muffled from all those outside that guest bedroom by the music. "because you had told me that i was so much more than that, and i had to do that tonight or he was going to fucking hurt me, victor. i didn't want to because you would have seen me as - "