M.O.N.E.Y • viktuuri ✔️

56.| aftershave

it took yuri's eyes a while to adjust to the darkness of the night, and to the strange surroundings he found himself in; a bed he didn't know, the faint smell of aftershave and in a blood-stained denim jacket that he knew wasn't his.

but the scent of lemon and vanilla reminded him of the feel of the mercedes' passenger seat, the coolness of the glass against his forehead, the glow of the headlights as cars passed them by and the hammering against the door of his ground floor apartment.

yuri rubbed his eyes, and felt dried blood and swollen skin fitting together like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle to make up his face.

and only then did yuri's heavy, aching mind, devoid of heroin and longing for the feel of jj leroy's tie around his arm, manage to put in the tape that yuri was looking for and press play.

it showed a man he knew all too well, dressed in a dark hugo boss suit, dragging him by the arm through a hospital car park. then came the screeching of a black porsche's tyres against the motorway, the rushing of blood in yuri's ears, the crack of his head against the wooden coffee table, the humming coming from the top of the stairs, the unzipping of trousers and the shouting of victor nikiforov

and yuri realised that the man with silver hair and blue, blue eyes had been there, had carried him away from that dull block of apartments and played his part in the fantasy that yuri had longed for since he met him in a crowded penthouse when he was high as a kite.

yuri looked over through tired eyes and wisps of soft dark, dark hair and saw victor nikiforov - his victor - lying asleep by his side. yuri could see blood on his white shirt, and the clouds in the sky parted a little, so that he could clearly see the screen and the running video of victor hitting celestino, yuri stuffing the money from under his bed and the dog-eared photo he had clung to into a thin black bag.

and yuri could hear the sirens as he ventured over victor's face, following every curve of his cheeks, every shadow cast by the darkness of the bedroom and the white lights lining the streets outside. and yuri could feel victor's hand on his back, is fingertips pressing against the denim of his jacket, arm around him, leading him into a silver mercedes, whilst he lay mesmerised by victor nikiforov and emerged in the scent of lemon, vanilla and aftershave.

and yuri could see the grey block of flats through a mind thickened by heroin, pain and confusion from only hours ago, fading away against the array of dismal buildings and glowing in the blue lights of a police car outside. 

and yuri stared at victor nikiforov, and dared to reach out and touch the soft hair falling over his eyes, to make sure that it was all real, and that his victor was really there, that he was really lying on his bed and not fantasising on the floorboards of the ground-floor apartment he knew all too well, dazed from the traces of the overdose and the pain from celestino's heavy boots.

but he felt the softness under his fingers and smiled in relief, unable to believe that the tape in his mind wasn't his own creation, and smiled to himself in disbelief as he felt the warmth of victor nikiforov's soft skin under his fingertips as he brushed the hair back to reveal his face, and watched it fall back again like the thin rain onto the pavement outside his window.

"glyadya na menya, poka ya splyu, huh?"

the soft voice yuri had longed to hear made him jump, and his breath hitched in his throat.

"w-what?" he whispered, and saw the blue, blue eyes that he had longed to see looking up at him from the white bedsheets, behind silver threads of hair.

"looking at me while i sleep, are you?" victor said, his soft voice and soft accent lazy and low from sleep. yuri felt his bruised cheeks flush with embarrassment, and felt too hot under the thick denim jacket he was wrapped in, despite the cold air filling the room from the open window.

"n-no i wasn't," yuri stammered, his voice still a whisper, fingers still held against victor's face, now have stopped by the corner of his mouth, so that yuri could feel the warmth of his breath against his fingers when victor laughed gently at his stumbling over words.

"i don't mind, yuri," he smiled at him, face inches away from his own, before closing his eyes again. "i don't mind at all. you look beautiful whilst you sleep, you know."

yuri blushed.

"do i?" victor teased sleepily, and opened his eyes once more. yuri giggled quietly, his delicate, damaged face moaning in pain but a smile on his soft, bloodied lips.

he began to lightly trace over his victor's soft, chapped lips, mesmerised by the warmth and the feel of his body so close to yuri's and his arm over yuri's waist.

and although yuri knew that this man couldn't love him as he once thought akio had done, after all he had said to him in that guest bedroom and the life yuri had lead, he allowed himself to breath in his scent, feel his warmth and smile; although he knew everything would be different when the white streetlights stopped shining and the damage on victor's face wasn't hidden by the night.

and yuri knew that he would regret letting himself enjoy this fantasy, when the morning came and the both of them - only inches away from one another and yet so uncertain to touch - remembered every fucking word, and every fucking tape.

"yes," yuri whispered, dropping his hand from victor nikiforov's face with a small, sad smile on his soft, bruised lips. "yes, victor, you do look beautiful whilst you sleep."

and yuri watched victor nikiforov sleep, watched the rise and fall of his chest and felt the warmth of his breath against his cheek, and longed to reach out and touch him once again. but he knew that he was only adding to the moments who's tapes he wouldn't be able to stop playing themselves over and over again come the light of day.

although the window was open and the cold night air surrounded the both of them, lying so close to each other on the bed, the scent of vanilla, lemon and aftershave didn't leave yuri for a moment, and never began to fade away.

i found that really sad idk why