M.O.N.E.Y • viktuuri ✔️

81.| deadroses

DEADROSES
BLACKBEAR

"i mean - "

victor leant forwards in the uncomfortable seat he was sat in - that reminded him of that blue plastic chair he had slept in at the hospital - hands clasped together, elbows pressing into his thighs.

" - i've been to a therapist before," was the first thing he could manage to say, before changing position and leaning back in the chair as if those few words had taken effort to say. the woman opposite him nodded, biting at the end of her glasses and nodding slightly for him to continue.

"how long ago?" she eventually had to prompt him, because now all that victor was thinking about was the feeling of yuri katsuki's soft, dark, dark hair as he ran his fingers through.

"i tried to kill myself," victor said bluntly, although the therapist didn't react surprised. she just kept one end of her glasses tantalising her teeth, and gave. much slower, longer nod.

"how recently?" she asked, crossing one leg over the other.

"yesterday," victor said, neck leaning against the back of the chair. "early morning, like 2 a.m. or something."

"right."

"it was fucking high up," victor went on, running one hand over his mouth and holding his jaw for a moment. "eighty stories."

"and is this what prompted you to come here, or a series of incidents or feelings like these?"

victor sighed.

"no," he replied. "i've just...fucking cliché...i've got to talk to someone."

the woman nodded again, and started to bounce the leg crossed over the other up and down.

"let's get straight to it, shall we?" she smiled briefly, and victor gave a nod. "why did you consider jumping from an eighty storey building?"

victor shrugged, and scratched at the back of his neck.

"i just..." he started off, before realising that what he was trying to say was much harder than he had thought. "i-i guess i..."

he groaned, and rubbed his face with both hands, leaning forwards in that uncomfortable armchair.

"i just sort of hate myself, really," he said with a laugh. the therapist pursed her lips a little, but said nothing, indicating for victor to go on.

"well...alright..." he breathed in deeply, before clearing his throat. "i'm rich. i mean, you must know that. it's hard to get sessions like these on short notice, huh. i'm guessing you pushed aside a few sessions or something because of my name. am i right?"

the therapist almost said nothing, before giving a short nod of the head. victor laughed a little at that.

"and i'm everything that's wrong with having too much money," he went on. "a fucking cliché. doing drugs to pass the time - "

"you use intoxicants?"

"have you seen the newspapers?"

the therapist nodded to herself, and gestured for victor to continue.

" - doing drugs to pass the time, acting like a spoilt kid and getting angry when things don't go my way..."

victor's voice faltered as he looked up to see that he was in that guest bedroom in his big, expensive white house in japan he had bought "just for the hell of it," after he'd said what he'd said to hurt yuri katsuki. he cleared his throat again, before looking up at the therapist to see if she was scribbling down notes about every little move he made.