Shades of Blue [h.v.c]

chapter 5

chapter five
the third session

october 7 2017

"welcome to fridays session everyone." he smiled as hansol and i walked in together. i look and see an open seat between jeonghan and madelaine. jeonghan waves at me with a smile. i looked over at hansol and he nodded. "go on hazel grace." he said, pushing me towards my two friends "shut up."

i walked over and sat beside them. "what's going on with you and pretty boy?" jeonghan asked with a smirk "yeah what's going on with you and him?" joshua asked from beside jeonghan. "nothing we're just friends." i tell them "hmmhm." madelaine smirked. "oh yeah? what about you and wonwoo?" i asked.

"what about us?" she questioned "you cancelled our plans yesterday! i was so looking forward to eating mcdicks." i pouted. "okay quiet please! glad this is bringing you guys close together." john smiled. "okay so today i say you all get into little groups." john smiled.

"hansol, mingyu, wonwoo, seungcheol, roslyn you're all together. jihoon, joshua, seungkwan, jeonghan, seokmin. and then soonyoung, jun, chan, minghao and madelaine. you guys are going to talk about how you're feeling today and why." he dismisses us and the room was filled with voices.

"okay so, i'm feeling shit today." mingyu said "because i'm still alive." he finished. okay me. "re fucking tweet." i commented with a groan. "hey why are you upset? you've been with me." hansol said with a pout. "okay chill, i just started thinking about someone." i tell him and he nodded. "i'm thinking about someone too."

"sofia?" seungcheol asked and hansol tensed up. "yeah." he whispered "hey you said she's alive and well right?" wonwoo asked and hansol nodded. "well then, she'll be okay at school, i'm sure she's been fine ever since. you've been worrying for three years, don't worry yourself anymore." seungcheol said, putting his hand on hansols thigh, being the comforting father figure he is.

"thanks." he smiled slightly. something was wrong. "coups, switch with me." i say, getting up from my chair. "coups?" he questioned "i don't know okay? just switch seats with me." i tell him. he stands up and switches seats so i'm beside hansol and wonwoo instead of being beside mingyu.

i sit bestie hansol and put my arm around him. he rests his head on my shoulder and i rest my head on top of his. while the boys are talking amongst themselves i rub hansols back. "hey, you okay?"  i asked him and he shook his head. "no."

"come outside with me?" he asked and i nodded. "of course." we got up and went up to john. "uh john can we go out and take a breather?" i ask and he nodded "yeah, of course, take all the time you need." he smiled. we walked outside the chapel, to outside the building. we leaned against the wall and tears came to my eyes.

"you're going to cry aren't you?" hansol asked. i looked up at him and saw his eyes were getting red and watery. i nodded, letting tears roll down my face as he finally let the tears roll down his face. "i don't cry in front of anyone like this." he admitted.

i look deeper into his brown eyes and engulf him into a big hug. he hugs me back, making me feel safe. "whoever you're thinking about, they're safe, wherever they are, happier." he tells me, calming me down. "stop blaming yourself, it's not your fault." i tell him. he cried more and more. "it's my fucking fault. all my fault." he cried, hugging me tighter.

i didn't say anything else. i just held him. "hazel grace?" i was about to correct him but i just let him have his moment. "yes gus?" i asked, pulling away. "go out with me next weekend. just the two of us. like a friendship day. tell me where you want to go and i'll take you. anywhere." i shake my head with a smile. "you're crazy."

"oh but hazel grace, aren't we all?"

-

"OH MY GOD A DATE?!" madelaine asked while we took off our makeup in my bathroom. "it's not a date." i chuckled "we're simply just, hanging out alone together." i say, throwing my makeup wipe in the garbage. "yeah, that's a fucking date!" madelaine freaked out more, throwing her makeup wipe in the garbage.

"where do you want to go?" she asked while i applied my sonic face mask. "um, i don't know." i admitted "didn't you always say you wanted your first date to be at an art museum?" she asked "um yeah? but how can i say it's a date when i have some feelings for joshua."

"WAIT YOU HAVE FEELINGS FOR JOSHUA?!" she exclaimed and i shushed her. "you know they can hear you when you scream right?" i asked her "they're only downstairs." i lecture. she puts on her blue face mask from lush and we make our way downstairs with the masks.

"oh no." wonwoo groaned "face mask time!" madelaine attacked wonwoo and started putting the face mask with her brush. "no!" he laughed. i turned to joshua with a smirk. "oh god." he turned away and i ran up and jumped on his back. he fell onto the couch so he's on top of me. "please!" i pleaded "it comes off and your face will be smooth! please!" i pleaded and he eventually agreed.

he moved down so his head was on my lap when i sat up. i started applying the mask and he started giggling. "it's cold." he complained "oh shut it. it feels good though right?" i asked and he nodded with a smile. "joshua, stop smiling, you're already cracking." i scolded.

"and you're done." i turn to jihoon and he smiled cheekily. "me next!" he smiled. i chuckled and started applying the mask as madelaine started applying the mask on jeonghan. once i finished, i turned and faced hansol. "rose no."

"cmon twixie." i chuckled "no way in hell." he laughed while i walked closer "rose cmon, i'm serious." he said as i got closer. "cmon leonardo decaprio." i chuckled, finally in front of him. he crossed his arms and layed back on his chair. "rose."

"jack." i teased "fuck off... hazel grace." he smirked "you know i hate that." i warned "and you know i hate being called jack. checkmate bitch." my mouth hung open as he laughed. "pleeease." i whined. "noooo." he whined back with a smile. i rolled my eyes and sat on his lap.

he put his hands on my hips, i was expecting him to tickle me but he doesn't, he just keeps me on his waist while i applied the mask.

"GOALS!" madelaine shouted while putting the face mask on mingyu. "go fuck your little wonton." i spat while finishing applying the mask. "done." i smiled. he kissed my nose "thanks hazel grace." he winked "yeah yeah, fuck you jack."