Shades of Blue [h.v.c]

chapter 4

chapter four
bonding

january 24 2018

"so for today's session i thought that maybe we should bond with one another. i know some of you aren't as close with some people in this room and i want to change that so i'm going to pair you guys into groups of two." john exclaimed with a smile. i rolled my eyes at his strategy. he better put me with jun or minghao.

"okay so hansol and jihoon, you guys don't seem that close." jihoon gives hansol a dirty look as hansol walks over to him. "mingyu and jeonghan, wonwoo and jun, minghao and joshua, seungkwan and chan, soonyoung and madelaine, seokmin and seungcheol and finally roslyn and amelia."

fuck you john.

"alright let's get started." john smiled. hansol looked back at us and he looked terrified. don't worry hansol i'm not going to tell your little girlfriend that you used me. "what?" i spat "uh nothing?" hansol defended "uh then fuck off maybe?" i say, mocking him, making my friends laugh.

"sorry." i apologized to amelia making her chuckle "it's okay. he probably deserved that." she laughed. "so um i don't know how to start this... maybe let's start with personal things like, how did you and hansol meet?" i asked her "oh he didn't tell you about me? we've dated before."

huh?

"you did?" i asked "oh yeah, in freshman year. my family moved away so we broke up. i moved before-" she stopped herself "shit." she cursed under her breath. "i know what happened." i tell her "you know the full story? with the um, grave?" she whispered and i nodded "really?" she asked in disbelief "he doesn't tell that to anyone, his family and i are the only people that know." she shared.

"so you're his high school sweetheart?" i smirked "i guess you could say that." she blushed with a slight smile. "i'm originally from england, obviously. my parents moved to seoul for jobs and then after staying here for a while they found a better job a couple hours away from here. i'm starting uni here soon so that's why i'm back." she smiled "well, welcome back, i'm sure hansol was thrilled when he saw you."

"yeah i guess. we ran into each other in a shop, he hugged me and i hugged back and before i knew it he wanted me back and me still being in love with the guy said yes." she smiled "but something's off." she said to me "what do you mean, off?" i ask.

"when we were together he was so happy, no matter what the situation was. when i saw him at the store he looked broken. his skin was so pale, he looked skinny, his eyes looked bloodshot and his bags where awful. they've gotten a bit better since we got back but i'm still worried. i caught him smoking a cigarette the other day and i don't know. it might be because of sofia, or not but he's broken inside and i want to help fix him." i smiled at amelia, she really does love him like i do.

"well you'll fix him some day, he'll just need some time." i remind her and she nods. "what about you and jeonghan, you guys look like a happy couple."
she smiled and i looked back at jeonghan. his smile was big while talking to mingyu, looking twice as adorable as he usually is. "happier than ever." i smile.

"i'm sad a lot of the time when coming here, just some old memories that bring me down. when i'm with jeonghan he makes me feel so much better about everything. he cracks jokes, holds me close, he just knows when something is wrong with me. i know that no matter what happens he'll always be with me and we'll always love each other. he's just an amazing guy that i love so much." i admit to her, making her smile. "i'm glad to hear that you're happy with him." she smiled and i smiled back.

"i have to ask though, you and hansol had history, correct?" she asked and i nodded "so what exactly happened between you two?" she questioned and i inhaled nervously, my breath shaking. "we drifted apart i guess." i tell her "really?"

"yeah, really. just an argument that turned into something huge." i tell her "and the argument was about what exactly?" she crossed her arms and i gulped. "trust. he didn't think i was trust worthy. he thought i was doing things with jeonghan while we were together." i explain "and i'm guessing he was right because he told me he saw you kissing jeonghan."

"yeah..." no. i should've told her the truth. why did i feel the need to protect hansol and their relationship. i want them to break up so why didn't i tell her the truth? she would've broken up with him for sure. maybe it's because there is no way i could hate someone as perfect and as nice as her.

"so... do you still like hansol?"

my heart pounded. i wanted to say yes. stand up and say 'i'm in love with your god damn boyfriend and i'll say it louder for the people in the back. i love him.' but i'm sure if i did that she'd throw punch me.

"no. if i did i wouldn't be with jeonghan right now." i tell her. she sat back in her chair and pulled out her phone, handing it to me. "put in your number, if you ever want to talk or hang out, i'm always available." she smiled sweetly at me as i typed in my number and contact name. i handed her back my phone and she smiled. "thanks."

we spent the rest of the session obsessing over riverdale and kj apa along with kpop bands and how hot kpop artists are. she's not bad like i thought she would be. hansol left both of our minds for the remainder of the session and we became close.

"alright guys, that's it for today. thanks for coming out and being in such a great mood. see you guys soon." he smiled. we all got up from our seats and said goodbye to each other. amelia and i hugged before parting ways.

"well you and amelia seem to get along." jeonghan smiled, putting his arm around my waist. "she's really cool, i like her." i smile "good to hear, maybe you'll finally hang out with us." madelaine joked as wonwoo kissed her cheek. "of course i will, jeez, no need for your attitude. i should get going though." i say, grabbing my things. "need a ride?" joshua asked and i shook my head. "no i should walk, i haven't walked in a long time and i miss it." i admit and put on my coat.

"bye, i love you." i smiled at jeonghan, kissing him goodbye. " bye baby, love you." he smiled, pulling away from the kiss. i leave the chapel and walk the halls of the school, deciding to go through the back today.

"how was she?" i hear hansols voice and i quickly stop and hide behind a wall. "she was sweet, i like her." amelia smiled. "what did she tell you?" he asked "just that you guys broke up cause of the jeonghan thing, why? was there more?" she asked "no."

"hansol, is there something you're keeping from me?" she asked "no, of course not." he said, almost offended she asked that. "do you still like her?" she asked, making my heart stop. "what?"

"do you want to be with her? do you still love her?" she asked and he paused. "of-of course not! why would you think that?" he asked "your stuttering and blushing tell me otherwise." she spat. he stayed silent and sighed "okay yeah maybe some times i do, but i want you. i would've asked for her back a long time ago, i would've fought for her, i want you okay? no one else." he told her. "okay... i believe you." she smiled, kissing him gently.

why didn't his apology seem sincere? is he playing with amelia too?

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smh hansol wyd
-K xxx