Shades of Blue [h.v.c]

chapter 2

chapter two
best friend

january 21 2018

"aye roslyn boe is in the building! wicky wicky wicky boom boom." i say while entering jeonghans house, making weird gang signs while walking in and taking off my shoes.

"aye, mrs, what is up my dude." i say, walking in the kitchen. his mom says hello with a chuckle and all the sudden his dad walks into the kitchen. "heyyyy what's good, my brotha?" i asked, fist pound his dad, making him laugh. "mom i think my friend is snorting coke." jeonghan joked "i am not how dare you." i pouted, crossing my arms like a toddler.

"you're on something." he laughed "we'll be in my room." jeonghan said to his parents as he pulled me up the stairs as i waved goodbye.

as soon as we get in his room and shuts his door, he starts to laugh. "what the hell, was that?" he laughed, holding his stomach as i laughed with him.

we finally calm down and go and lay on his bed, laying in each other's arms. while he layed on his back my head layed on his chest. "how you feeling?" he asked, looking up at his ceiling. "i'm feeling okay. it's just when he kisses her it's like i break inside, i miss his kisses." i tell him with a smile forming on my lips, reminiscing each kiss hansol gave me.

"wow, are my kissing skills that horrible?" jeonghan asks, making me laugh. "yep, pretty much." i teased making him hit my thigh. "i'm kidding, i lowkey like kissing you." i admit. when i kiss jeonghan it feels like i'm actually loved by someone, it's just a good feeling. my heart would be broken from hansol kissing amelia but then it'd be fixed from jeonghan kissing my right after.

"sometimes i wish things were different. that we fell in love instead, that i'm in love with you and not him." i admitted "same, i wish i loved you as a girlfriend and not as a best friend or sister." he tells me. "ew no, don't say sister. we legit made out the other day in front of hansol and by the way, thank you for not sticking your tongue down my throat right away."

"you're welcome. you're actually really good at it." he complimented "why thank you." i thanked him with a giggle. "you were good at it too." i told him making him smile.

"i'm sorry, for kissing you that day." he apologized, making me look up at him. "why are you apologizing?" i asked "because, if i didnt chase after you and if i didn't call you beautiful and i didn't lean into kiss you, hansol would've went out himself and run after you, try to fix things, talk it out and none of this would've happened if it wasn't for me."

"jeonghan don't blame yourself. i'm glad you ran after me, because i know for sure that i will always have someone by my side no matter what i do. i leaned in to. i wanted to kiss you. yes it might have been a mistake and it was 100% in the moment but for me, i just needed to know if someone, just one person, truly loved me. and it was you." i smiled up at him and he smiled back.

"i'm always here for you, remember that." he smiled. "now, on a less sappy note." he started "let's spill some tea." he smiled "tell me everything that went down that day." i say.

"we were hanging out, a day after the closet incident at your house, we were just talking. and then all the sudden the subject went to you and madelaine. wonwoo was with us, i didn't say it because i didn't want to get madelaine pissed at wonwoo. anyways, they said they thought madelaine was cute along with soonyoung. meanwhile, joshua and hansol were team roslyn and so were me and mingyu but we were lowkey about it because my feelings towards you were little." he explained.

"anyways we went on to girlfriends which lead on to virginity. everyone was not a virgin but hansol and you basically know the rest. hansol and i were in a call after that, and he kept going on and on about how beautiful and amazing you are and how he's falling for you each and every day and how he wants nothing to do more then kiss your perfect little beautiful face."

i smiled as jeonghan explained. did he really say that over the phone with jeonghan? "i asked if he was being serious or if he was just saying this because of the little bet him and joshua made, without joshua even knowing it was a bet and hansol was taking it seriously, but he said he was being honest, that he liked you since day one." he confessed and i smiled.

"actually?" i asked and he nodded. "yeah, actually." he smiled "maybe he still likes you, maybe he's over it, maybe he had the same plan as us, i don't know. but whatever he's trying to do, it's working, he's hurting you and is making you jealous."

"i can't believe wonwoo was there, he knew and he didn't even tell me or madelaine." i groaned "i knew too, should've told you sooner." her frowned "yeah but the point is you kept trying to tell me but it was me who was always hanging up or turning you down, i was a shitty person for always leaving you behind."

"i'm not mad at you for that but i need to know about amelia. what are your thoughts?" he asked me "i feel like if we talked a lot we could hit it off and become really close, like, we would have a lot of things in common and we would be like long lost sisters or something." i admit

"so? what's the problem? talk to her." jeonghan nudged "the problem is she's in love with hansol, and i'm in love with hansol. she would talk about how much she loves him and all the amazing things he's done for her and i'll just break little by little and at one point i'll snap at her and try to swing and no one wants that." i laugh and he agrees with me.

"i love and miss him so much, he knows, i'm sure of it. i don't think i'll ever be able to get over it. we've only known each other for almost five months now but i really fell for him and the way i felt when he held me or the feeling i got when someone would bring up something simple like his name i would get this feeling. my heart would skip a beat, butterfly's flutter around my stomach and i felt like i was going to vomit almost. we know each other's darkest secrets and i didn't just loose him as a lover, i lost him as a friend... and that's what pains me most. it would always, pain me the most."

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