Shades of Blue [h.v.c]

chapter 9

chapter nine
you knew

january 29 2018

"and kids, that's why we should- oh roslyn." john stopped himself and smiled when he saw me come in late. "work?" he asked and i nodded. "what's up with you? why are your under eyes so dark?" hansol asked me but i ignored him. "take a seat." john smiled. i look over at jeonghan and he smiled for a split second but then looked away, remembering all the things i told him last night.

madelaine smiled at me and waved me over. i rolled my eyes at her and went to sit in between jun and jihoon, leaving madelaine shocked and confused.

jun and jihoon look at me confused a long with the others. i look and see jaeun and seokmin sitting next to each other, looking at me in shock. jaeun points over to madelaine and i shook my head no.

john continues with support group, me tuning him out and planning what i'm going to say to madelaine if she approaches me at the end of support group but nothing but hurtful words came in my head. i don't want to hurt her, she's like my sister, i can't afford to loose her too.

"and that's it for today." john smiled and instantly got up, rushing out. "what's his problem?" i ask jihoon. "he has a hot date tonight, or so he said." jihoon smirked "but what about you? it's like the world has been flipped upside down. jeonghan wasn't kissing you hello and you didn't even once smile at madelaine." jun said to me.

"yeah what was that?" madelaine asked while walking up to jun, jihoon and i. i ignore her and she just stares at me "roslyn? what's wrong?" she asked "you're a fake friend." i said, my voice already cracking, i was about to cry already. "okay? what do you mean?" she asked "you know exactly what i mean." i spat

"no roslyn, i actually don't." she spat back. "you knew, about the bet. wonwoo was there and he told you right after. you knew since the fucking beginning and you didn't tell me." i growled and her face dropped and went white. "that's what i thought, he was telling the truth." i sniffed and started walking away.

"rose let me explain-" she said, grabbing my arm to stop me. "explain what?" i screamed, turning around to face her. "explain how you lied? the entire time you sat back and watch me be happy knowing it would break me." i said. "rose i didn't tell you because i knew you'd be crushed no matter when i fucking told you!" she argued back. "great excuse. you're like my fucking sister, id rather you tell me so i could have you to lean on. we're supposed to tell each other everything! but you just say back and watch me fall in love with someone." i sniffed.

"what about you? what about your mom? you didn't tell me about that. that one night, the one before sushi, that intimate night with a special someone, you didn't tell me about that." she spat "fuck you." i fired back.

"roslyn this isn't you! this isn't who you are! this isn't the girl i met the first day of support group." jihoon said, getting angry as well. "you're getting angry over something that isn't worth it!" he said and i scoffed "isn't worth it? so let's talk about aliee for a second, you know the girl you're talking to. what if you two fell in love, dated and a month later you found out her love isn't real and it was all a bet to fit in. she took your love, she took your virginity and your vulnerability. now let's say your best friend seungcheol knew the entire time but didn't tell you... how the fuck would you feel?" i asked making madelaine fee more guilty than before.

"he doesn't fucking love you anymore! get the fuck over it! he's moved on! stop being so in love with him when he isn't worth it! he doesn't want to be with you so just give it up!" jihoon snapped, taking me a back. "who is she in love with?" hansol asked, making my heart stop.

fuck this.

i look back at him and amelia and close my eyes in regret. "yeah rose, i don't love you anymore! so just lay off would you?" jeonghan spat, joining in and saving my ass. "what? did i stutter? i said lay off and leave me alone." he said, getting closer. he leaned down and whispered in my ear.

"i'm so fucking mad at you but i don't want to see you embarrassed like that. now leave before something else happens." he whispered and quickly pulled away. i look at madelaine and she gives me a dirty look. "fuck off slut." madelaine said, her words stabbing me like knifes.

and just like that, madelaine became the girl i never thought she'd be. she was just like tana and ivy. "what did i say? get moving bitch." madelaine spat. i stood there in shock. "go!" she pushed. i stumbled back and landed on my but. glared at her as i stood back up "how about you walk away?" i spat "no." she said back "im not backing down to a hoe."

i slap her as hard as i can. everyone gasped as madelaine held her face in pain and then punched me in the face.

i feel someone grab me and carry me away before i was about to swing. i look back and see hansol holding me back, knowing i would've done something i would regret. "okay let's go." hansol said, carrying me over his shoulder, amelia following us out in the halls.

"put me down for fuck sakes! let me at her!" i screamed while hitting his back. "she's a fucking bitch! like of course she pushed me, she knows that pisses me off. i warned her to go away and she tested me! holy fuck, fucking snake!" i screamed and thrashed around.

he puts me down and looks at me. "go back home and calm down." hansol told me. "no, im not going till i get my way with her." i growled, trying to push pass him but he stopped me. "amelia has a car, she'll drive you home and get you food." he said, handing her his wallet. "on me, get your favourite at mcdonald's." he told me and pushed amelia and i off.

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