Don't Try To Make Me Smile!// [#Wattys2016]

Confessions

"Eric!" I yelled walking closer to where he stood but I hadn't halfway close before he turned to face me, his eyes were bloodshot like he had been drinking, his face looked puffy and red and I was very sure he had been crying. He looked really pitiable and heart broke into a million pieces seeing him like that. I didn't understand what happened to us, or what the hell was happening right now. Why Eric was standing at the edge of a cliff looking the way he did. Whatever was happening was affecting Eric as much as it did me and I just wanted it to stop.

"What are you doing?" I asked him trying to find those dreamy blue eyes but I couldn't, and it seemed like there were never there in the first place.

"Same thing you once planned on doing" he told me with so much vile, I actually felt scared. "It felt better right? When you jumped off that cliff. You thought things were going to get better and you'll never have to feel so shitty and depressed all the time".

"Eric...." I called but he ignored it and went on, talking like he had programmed to do so.

"Do you wish I saved you then? Do you regret it?" He asked and my lips slightly parted, staring into his bloodshot eyes not believing the questions he just asked. How could I regret it? After everything we've been through together, through my tears and laughter. How could I fucking regret it.

"Eric..?"

"Answer my damn question and don't fucking call my name because it kills me" the last part was as low as a whisper, but I caught on to it as he casted his eyes to the floor, not meeting mine anymore and I felt tears come up to the brink of my eyes.

"I don't regret it" I replied "Do you?"

"Yes" he let out in a breath and I felt the tears fall freely from my eyes, and I had no way to stop it. "I fucking regret it, I wish I want at the hospital that night and I hasn't followed you to this damn cliff. I wish I hadn't jumped in after you, I just wished I hadn't saved you at all because if I hadn't I wouldn't have fallen this deeply in love with you. No matter how I try to deny it, I just can't" Eric finished with a tear drop falling from his eyes and they matched mine which were equally falling from my eyes.

"I just wish....." Eric didn't have a chance to finish his statement before I ran up to him, pulling him into a tight hug. He didn't say anything, but relief washed over me when I felt his hands wrap around my waist, pulling me closer to him and for once I forgot everything that was happening to me. I missed him so much, I really never understand what happened but Eric's hands around me calmed me down a little bit.

"I missed you so much" I heard him whisper in my ears.

"What the hell ever happened to us?" I asked back, resting my hands on his shoulder and looking in his eyes expecting real answers this time. Eric had this look that I couldn't decipher at the moment, his eyes weren't even meeting mine but I was determined to know.

"Eric....?" I called when he wasn't saying anything. "Don't you think I deserve a legit reason why things turned out the way they did"

"I don't know Cher" he said a bit harshly and I just wondered how this conversation could just go wrong without saying much.

"Eric...." I yelled louder.

"My father didn't want it" he yelled back his tone matching mine, and his eyes lit up with anger I actually got scared.

"He didn't want me to keep seeing you, I was the heir to his company and he wanted me to focus. He was going to send me away if I kept dating you and I didn't want to leave. I preferred to at least catch a glimpse of your face each day even if it was you hating me. I just didn't want to lose you either way" he finished all in one breath leaving me sort of speechless or rather giving me mor time to comprehend all the words he just threw at me. His dad? OK I think this was just legit too much.

"Why didn't you tell me, at least?" I asked him.

"I don't know, I just couldn't and I'm sorry" he apologized moving closer to me, his hands finding their way around my waist once again and I couldn't help but draw myself closer to him. I just wanted to feel his hands around me again, and for the last time.

"I know this is too much ask, but can you wait for me. Just until I sort things right" he said looking into my eyes, as if searching for an answer right away even if there was none the moment he asked, his eyes bore a glint of hope.

"I'm leaving" I wanted to say but I couldn't, I couldn't bring myself to say it to him. I couldn't bear to see the hurt on his face, and mostly I didn't want him to beg me to stay.

"I'll set things right and I'll make it up to you, I promise" he said after placing soft kisses on my lips and across my jaw line.

"I'll wait" I found myself saying....

              Maybe not here with you, but I'll always be waiting for you in my heart.