❝𝕄𝕠𝕞𝕠𝕜𝕠 𝕚𝕟 𝕋𝕠𝕜𝕪𝕠❞✔️ (1)

❤︎Chapter Thirty-Eight❤︎

I'm there again, in that dream I'd been having since I'd moved to Tokyo. Only this time, the dream was almost entirely different. I could feel the warm sun on my exposed skin, the ticklish sensation of flowers and grass blades caressing my legs. Something in me was incredibly happy, like there was a blossom in my chest that just had to bloom no matter what or it would explode. I felt so happy, but I was experiencing so many emotions that came before that peak of happiness. Loneliness, sadness, anger, frustration, fear, even lust...

And they were all the doing of just one person.

I stare straight ahead at what was almost complete darkness. There was sunlight around me, but the man who stood before me was covered in his own twilight. I stared straight ahead at him, feeling a smile spread across my face. I'd had this dream over the course of about 5 months, and never before had I ever been able to see the one I had felt so many feelings for.

Yuji Oshiro stood shining in all his glory just about a foot away from me, a solemn smile spread across his gorgeous face. I looked into his honey golden eyes and began to speak to him. Of course it was him all along. The man in my dreams. The man of my dreams.

"Yuji..." I said softly, my voice echoing through the air and carrying over to him. His smile widened in his darkness as he reached hesitantly for me. My hand came out without hesitation and slid into his. His skin felt so cold, almost dead. I felt some of my warmth and sunshine sliding through him, warming him up just enough to give him the strength to squeeze back.

"Momoko...I've been in a dark place for a long time." he whispered back.

"I know.." I told him, "I've always known that, somehow."

"But you've made me so happy. I'd never want to lose you. But I don't know how much further I can let you in. I don't want you to get hurt because of me."

"But you said you'd always protect me." I took a step forward into his arms, and as he held me I could really feel him. It felt so real.

"...I did. But I don't know how strong I am."

I shook my head and gazed up at him, into the loneliness and darkness in the glow of his eyes, "I don't care how strong you are. How do you feel about me, Yuji? I want to know."

"Yuji...I love you..."

The familiar fragment of my dream I had waited so long to piece together into a befitting puzzle finally made its way into the right place.

My hand comes up to brush silky hair from the face I'm cupping between both of my hands. Tears are steaming down my face — I think I'm relieved, and my heart is aching as if someone were ripping it out of my chest for an answer. I feel Yuji's face stretch into a soft, gentle smile, but he says nothing.

"How do you feel about me?" I asked again, and my heart pleaded with him to answer with the same words, suddenly impatient. How would he respond? Was I prepared for rejection?

But still, he says nothing, and I wait in painful silence.

"You mean you don't know that by now, silly?" he finally answers, and I'm stunned as I look into his calm expression. He even laughs, as if the answer were right in front of me. I'm not prepared for when he leans forward close enough that our darkness and light can finally clash but refuse to mix like they were oil and water. When his lips were next to my ears so I could hear it directly from him, I go still. He whispers to me as my consciousness comes back...

"Why don't you wake up and just ask?"

I wake with a start, sitting up in bed the moment a gasp leaves me. I look around my room, trying to process the dream I had had, running through what had happened to refresh my memory. It took a moment, but I was able to force my way through the usual fuzz of waking up without a fresh memory of the entirety of a dream.

😳"Oh my god. I'm in love with Yuji. I'm really in love with him!" I slide my hair out of my face and slide up into an upright position on the edge of my bed, my eyes wide and my cheeks burning. I felt so embarrassed, having this kind of dream. I knew I had feelings for him — romantic feelings but I had no idea they were strong enough to conjure up THAT kind of dream.

I couldn't just tell him. I'd risk our entire friendship. I didn't know how much more I could ask for. I already had an incredible relationship with him. I'd risk everything. As confident as I was in my dream, I couldn't expect such a calm response from
him.

Could I?

I didn't know what to do. We pretended to be lovers for the cameras, to build a more positive look on his public image. But we were such great friends on the outside. He was so kind, so sweet, and he was always taking care of me, but how could I be sure he had any kind of romantic feelings for me? For all I know, my dream was a nightmare. In reality he could reject me. I couldn't stand the idea of an unrequited love.

My love was now a secret. And I was terrible at keeping secrets.

What in the world am I going to do?