Chapter Twenty

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"When I am with you, I feel safe from the things that are hurting inside"  

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Chapter 20- Everything hurts.

"Hey, it's lunchtime, you wanna come?" Ashley asked holding the knob of my cabin. I looked up and shook my head smiling. She looked shocked for a while. I don't blame her, it's rare for me to deny eating. "Are you alright?"She asked again. 

"Yes, I'm fine. it's just lots of work today." I pointed at my huge stack of files that I intentionally asked for, from Hailey, to keep me distracted. 

"Ok..." She stayed there for a while contemplating to ask me something. "What is it, Ash?" She flushed "Um... How's Noah and his mom?" I knew it. I grinned widely at her. She blushes deeper shades of red. Ashley works with Noah and as we can say, she has a big crush on Noah. I knew about it from my first day here when I caught her stealing glances at him, but she denied it at once.And Noah being dumb like all boys is oblivious to her feeling. Although I know he returns her feeling. 

Aah! Looks like I have a new pair to play cupid.

"He is doing fine, so as his mom, she is transferred back to home from the hospital and he will come back soon" I winked at her. Noah's mom was sick, so he had to fly back to his hometown for a while. But everything's fine now, Emily, her mom, has been discharged from the hospital and is perfectly fine.

"That's good I guess." She shrugged. "I should go back, guys have been waiting for me. You sure you don't want to come?" She asks again.

I nodded"Yeah. I'm sure." With that, she left.

I heard a knock. "Come in." The person entered didn't say a word. Furrowing my eyebrows I looked up.

"Hey, you should have called me."I stood up seeing it was Nolan.

"Hailey said you didn't go for your lunch today and didn't even came out of this cabin all day. What's going on?" He crossed his arms across his chest.

I shrugged. "Nothing's going on. There was a lot of work."

He came forward and grabbed my hand dragging me with him. "Hey! what are you doing?" He didn't reply, so I simply stayed silent.

It was getting dark outside. Wow! I didn't notice the time. We stopped at a fancy restaurant. Nolan opened the door for me, I walked out. He held my hands in his intertwining our fingers, his hands were so warm on a chilly night. I looked up at him to see him looking at me. "Are you cold?" he asked. I shook my head and smiled genuinely. He smiled back and tugged me near him. 

As we entered, the hostess walked up to us smiling. "Welcome, Mr.Crawford. Let me show you your seat." 

Taking our seats, we thanked the hostess and she left. After a while, a waiter came to take our orders. "Are you ready to order sir? Or would you like me to serve the drinks?"

"No, we are ready to order." Nolan said and looked at me. "Can you order for me? I can't decide." I said not knowing what to order.He nodded and ordered something for us. It's impressive to see him pronounce the name of these dishes. He speaks so fluently and with authority, it gives me chills. Our dishes were shortly served, it looked delicious and tastes amazing too. We ate silently talking while needed.

"You want some ice cream? Cause I'm craving for one."Nolan said while driving back to home. I chuckled nodding. I waited outside while he went to bring some ice cream for us. Being alone makes my thoughts wander around again. It reminds me of things that hunt me every night. 

I heard someone giggle and turn to look at a little girl. She was sitting on his father's shoulder eating ice cream. Her father was holding her safe while crossing the door. It refreshes some memories, memories that were so priceless yet it hurts to remember them again. My vision becomes blurry, I blink many times to get rid of these tears. 

I didn't realize I was walking until I heard someone shout my name. Before I could react I felt someone grab my arms and pulled me towards him. A car passed me by few inches, I stiffened. "Are you crazy? Did you want to die? What's wrong with you?" Nolan yelled holding me safe in his arms. I felt his heartbeat going faster through my cheek pressed on his chest. 

"How can you be so careless? What if I wasn't here? What if the car-" He stopped and release a rough breath. His hold tightens around me. "You scared me, Aubree. You scared the life out of me."  

More tears flow out of my eyes. "Hey, don't cry love." He held my face between his hands and wiped the tears. "Everything is fine, I'm here. You are okay. Don't cry. please."

I shook my head. "No, nothing is fine Nolan." I sobbed. He looked confused but didn't interrupt. "I'm not okay. Everything is hurting. It hurts so much. I- I- don't know what to do to ease the pain. It isn't fair, it hurts so bad, Nolan, I can't handle anymore." I sob louder and fall in his arms. He didn't say anything just held me tight rubbing my back.

"I lost him, Nolan. I lost him on my birthday. It was my fault he is dead. He was everything to me, my best friend, my secret keeper, my everything. I want him back. I want my dad back. I want my dada back."I hugged him tight crying into his chest.

           **Nolan's P.O.V**

"I lost him, Nolan. I lost him on my birthday." My jaw clenched when she mentioned him.Who is he? Why is he so important to her? Was he someone she loves perhaps her boyfriend? "It was my fault he is dead. He was everything to me, my best friend, my secret keeper, my everything. I want him back. I want my dad back." I stiffened when I heard her. "I want my dada back." She hugged me tighter crying loudly.

Her dad. I never asked her about that.

FUck! what should I do? I don't like it when she cries. I bend down and picked her in a bridal way. She was crying continuously in my arms. I didn't know what to do. It was the reason why she was acting like that from the morning.

"Can you sit?"I asked her. But she didn't reply. I looked at her confused. Her eyes were closed and she was fast asleep. She looked so peaceful in her sleep. So beautiful. I placed her carefully in the seat and clasped the seat belt to keep her safe and then I drove her to her home.

She whimpers in her sleep murmuring something. I heard her phone ring, it was Daphne. 16 missed calls. Wow! She must be worried. I called her back. "HOw dare you not picking up my phone. Do you know how scared I was? Don't try to do anything stupid like last time Bree, I swear to god I'll fucking rip your hair out if you-" I stopped her before she could kill me through the phone.

"Umm... it's me, Nolan. She is sleeping right now." I heard her sighed and let out a sob. "Don't worry she is safe."

"I know she is. I know you won't let her get hurt ever...right?"She asked.

I looked at Aubree and my heart skips a beat. Fuck! I got it really bad, even if I deny it thousands of times I know I can't ignore it anymore.

"Never." I replied and hung up.

I love her.

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