Repressing Thoughts-J.D

-23-

*adult content warning...kinda*

I collapsed into Brendon's hug, he was warm and cuddly which I adored and he had tried to talk to me about Josh and I but I was avoiding him as much as possible. We were unloading the bus in Manchester when he just attacked me in a hug, I knew he wouldn't hold avoiding him against me but I am glad he is not angry.

"Are you two okay? Where are we on the relationship status? Are we updating Facebook anytime soon?" He asked as I pulled out the hug, I smiled up at him and nodded.

"We had an argument but we got through it" I breathed.

"Yeah but it's your first one, it's always a make or break kind of situation" he bit his lip.

"It made us stronger but it broke me slightly" I joked but he didn't find it funny.

"If he's not making you happy-"

"Brendon, I can handle this" I didn't know who I was trying to convince, him or me. He gave me a sad look before moving his eye contact to something behind me. I turned around to see Josh standing next to Tyler looking very nervous.

"I've made many a mistake in mine and Sarah's relationship but if you feel that deep down you can't live without him then you can't throw it away because of his first mistake" Brendon advised, I nodded before hugging him again.

I walked over to Josh and put my arms around his neck. I smiled at him causing him to relax and smile back at me.

"I'm sorr-"

"Shut up" I cut him off, he let out a breathy laugh before I pushed my lips onto his. His arms tightened around me as he accepted the kiss, I hadn't kissed him since saying good luck to him at the London show. He cut the kiss short but didn't let me move away from him.

"longest two days of my life" He muttered, I laughed at his silliness before kissing him again.

"Okay everybody get some rest, we have a big day tomorrow" Sam called, I moved away from Josh but he clung onto me. I cupped his face with my hand and kissed him slowly to let him know we had to go.

I agreed to share a room with Josh but Tyler stopped me and told Josh I would meet him upstairs, I was so confused but I just went along with it.

"Hey, are you alright?" I asked. He nodded but then took a deep breathe.

"Josh is a one hundred percent trustworthy guy. I beg for you not to give up on him because trust me, it would break him. That sounds selfish, I know but the doubts you are having, you shouldn't because I know him better than anyone and I know how deeply he cares for you" Tyler blurted.

"I don't doubt how he feels now, I am just scared about in the future" I confessed.

"You can't break it off with someone you really like just because you may break up in the future." He criticised.

"I know that I'm just scared of it Ty"

"Everyone is, I know I was. I'm was as nervous as they come and hey it still may happen but I pray it doesn't. You need to make the most of him while you can, you don't want to break it off and regret it in the future because I know you will regret it" he scared me a little but I knew it was for a good reason.

"You're right Tyler, my doubts are silly" I laughed slightly, my body released an amount of tension I didn't know I had.

"Now go" he demanded, I grinned at him before throwing my arms around him. I pulled away quickly however.

"Sorry, sorry, I know you aren't a hugger" I apologised but he just laughed.

"It's okay, now go!" He laughed.

I ran up the stairs of the hotel up to mine and Josh's room and knocked on the door. When he opened it I jumped towards him and kissed him hard. He didn't think twice before kissing me back, his arms wrapped around my waist and kicked the door shut.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry" I mumbled into the kiss, he pulled away and gave me a confused look.

"What? Why are you sorry?" He asked, I placed both hands on his face and sighed.

"I should've just forgiven you when you explained. I made you wait too long, I was being selfish and I'm sorry" I kissed him multiple times, he laughed at me and shook his head.

"Please don't feel bad for wanting time to think" he chuckled.

He leant down and kissed me again, this time it was slow and to be frank a very good kiss. He picked me up so I straddled him and laid me down on the bed. I had never wanted him more than I had at this point, his tongue fiddled with mine as he hovered over me. I pulled at his shirt which caused him to break free of the kiss to take it off. I moved my hands over his abs as he leant down to kiss me again. This kiss was hard and hungry as was Josh. Josh moved his kisses from my lips to my neck, slowly sucking on my skin as I bit my lip to stop from moaning. He trailed his kisses down to my chest where he ripped my shirt off to reveal my breasts. He continued to kiss down my body while I clutched the sheets.

"Keep going" I mumbled as he kissed my stomach.

He unbuttoned my jeans and pulled them down, I bit my lip in excitement as he threw them on the floor. He looked up at me to make sure it was okay, I nodded quickly in frustration. He kissed the insides of my thighs before pulling my underwear down and replacing them with a kiss. I took in a sharp breath as his tongue entered me, I gripped his hair as he came back up to my lips. I unbuckled his jeans and he pulled them down along with his underwear. He walked over to his suitcase and pulled out a condom, he slid it on and came back over to me.

"You okay?" He asked as he hovered over me, I grinned while nodding. He kissed me before slowly pushing himself into me, I gasped but I liked it. I rushed my fingers through his hair as he moved his hips, I moaned as he moved faster. His breath quickened as I ran my hands down his back, my nails dug into him as he found my spot.

"There, josh, there" I gasped, he moved his hips faster in that spot, our breathing got faster and faster. Our bodies moved in sync as we breathed heavily, I moaned while he groaned until eventually I felt myself start to finish so I moaned a little louder. He felt amazing, I never wanted him to stop but ultimately he finished, he kissed me lightly before rolling next to me.

"Wow" he breathed, I giggled before kissing his cheek. He took off the condom and put it in the bin, before putting his arm around me.

"This is the part where the girl asks the boy who drums to sing and then we find out he can sing and that he's actually a super talented singer" I joked, he laughed from underneath me. He got up from the bed and put his boxers on, he tossed me his shirt which I threw over me and he got back into bed.

"I can sing for you" he said with such a serious tone, I looked him dead in the eye, not sure whether he was lying or not.

"Really?" I asked, slightly impressed.

"Yeah, ready?" He asked, I nodded suddenly very excited. "There's an infestation in my mind's imagination. I hope they choke on smoke cause I'm smoking them out the basement" he rapped, I burst out laughing and hit him on the chest.

"You are silly" I laughed before kissing him multiple times because he was cute and deserved it. He noticed me yawn and decided it was time to sleep, i turned to face and window and he threw his arm over me so that we could spoon. I never wanted to leave that moment, it was perfect.