Lost Stars

Chapter 14 | Something Else

Chapter 14 | Something Else

“That is part of the beauty of all literature. You discover that your longings are universal longings, that you're not lonely and isolated from anyone. You belong.” 
-F. Scott Fitzgerald

•••

Shane's Pov

Sa wakas, today was the last day since the first week of this school year. But as the saying goes, an ending is just another beginning. There's still a lot ahead and I don't know if I can still bare this. 'Yung fact na lang na gusto ko umalis sa bahay ng mga magulang ko at ang mga pangarap ko ang ginawa kong motivation kaya nandito pa din ako sa school na 'to, seating on my usual chair kung saan ako umupo nung first day, ten minutes early before the class starts.

"Hi, Good morning!" Masayang pag bati sa akin ni, Sunny the moment she arrives and seat beside me. I just smiled a little ay her, as an acknowledge to her greating.

Being her seat mate here in 21st literature for the first week, wasn't after all. She in fact make this class more interesting for me. Simula nung gabi ng encounter namin, araw-araw hindi siya nawawalan ng kwento sa akin and I just intently listen to everything she said, na intersting din naman kasi. Like if aliens do really exist and what they exactly look like, is it a green thingy with big black eyes or does it look like the alien on that Korean novela, Mateo Do and stuffs like that.

Kapag may recitation o debate, lagi din siya kasali, confidently speaking her thoughts out about the topic. I wish I could do that too, but I can't, 'cause I'm too damn afraid what will others will say against me. Though sometimes I wish I have the courage, to speak out my thoughts, hindi 'yung journal ko lang nakaka aalam ng gusto ko sabihin, na iisip o nararamdaman ko.

"So what's your news today?" Tanong ko na, not waiting for her to open up a topic, that made her giggle.

"May na basa akong article nung naki wifi ako kagabi sa kaibigan ko. Alam mo ba, may seven new planets similar to earth ang na discover ng NASA!" Mangha niyang sabi, as I still look at her in amusement despite the fact the I already know that news last month.

"Kung kagaya siya ng earth, sa tingin mo kaya, may mga naka tira din na nilalang doon?" She asked wondering and I can't help not to smile.

"You always wonder about things, do you?" Tanong ko pa balik, it's an obvious question but I asked anyway. "Not that it's a bad thing, I'm just uh curious."

"Oo e, curious din kasi ako. The more you ask, the more you will know." Sagot niya. She never failed to impressed me, to be honest and I only know her for like a week.

"Shane,"

"Yeah?"

"May sasabihin ako sa'yo, promise me hindi ako magagalit." Medyo kabado niyang sabi, na ikinakunot ko naman ng noo dahil sa pag tataka.

"It depends sa kung ano ang sasabihin mo." Walang emosyon ko na sabi, dahilan para madagdagan 'yung kaba sa mukha niya.

"'Yung kaibigan ko kasi kung saan ako nakiki wifi, Stella pangalan niya and...sinabi niya sa akin na...may gusto daw siya sa'yo and gusto sana daw niya hingin cellphone number mo." Medyo na uutal pa niyang sabi.

I never heard of a Stella girl, dahil wala naman talaga akong pake sa ibang mga tao dito, but I was kind of surprising na may nag kakaroon pa din pala sa katulad ko, despite me being invisible to everyone.

"If she really likes me and she badly wants my cellphone number, she asked me herself, hindi 'yung nag uutos pa siya sa iba." Medyo inis kong sagot. Kasi totoo naman, kung gusto mo talaga ang isang tao, you'll be brave enough to reach out to him or her, dahil doon pa lang mapapatunayan mo ng may gusto talaga siya sa'yo, kahit gaano ka pa na hihiya o na totorpe.

"Okay, pasensya na. Pero hindi ka galit sa akin, diba?"

"Of course not." Sagot ko, smiling a little and that made her breath in relief and chuckle.

"Why are you so nervous? First time mo bang mang hingi ng number ng lalaki?" Tanong ko.

"Oo e, lalo na't sa'yo na may pag kamasungit pa naman." Natatawa niyang sabi, gesturing a peace sign and I just smirked.

"This Stella friend of yours, is she by any chance my block mate in one of my class? How does she knows me?"

"Oo, sa contemporary arts. Then na laman niyang, seat mate kita kaya naki usap siya sa akin." Paliwanag niya and I just nodded. "Sanay ka na siguro na maraming babae nag kakagusto sa'yo 'no?"

"Paano mo na sabi?"

"Guwapo ka, mukha ka din naman matalino." Straight forward niyang sagot. It's not surprising though, dahil within the week I know her, she's pretty straight forward. As I said she wasn't afraid to voice out the truth and I honestly admired her for that.

"Ikaw pa lang nag sasabing gwapo ako." Medyo natatawa kong sabi at sceptical naman siyang tumingin sa akin habang naka ngiti.

"Talaga lang ha? Siguro ako pa lang nag sasabi personally, malay mo 'yung iba sa isip lang nila, gaya ni Stella."

"You're bluffing about me being used to girls admiring or liking me, no one will like a guy like me." Naka smirk kong sabi.

"Bakit naman? Nag kagusto nga si Stella sa'yo e."

"It's only admiration she's feeling, hindi pag kagusto, there's a big difference. Let just say she admired me because of what she sees in me, but she wouldn't like the real me. I mean, ikaw ba? Mag kakagusto sa isang repeater, a problem child at member ng youth gang? Who's trouble was tied in his name, that smokes and drinks alcohol."

Blank expression was spread across Sunny's face. Hindi na din nakaka gulat if she'll stop talking to me after this at kung ganoon, hindi din siya na iiba sa lahat—fucking society, kung saan hindi belong ang mga gaya namin, gaya ko. Mag sasalita pa sana siya, nang dumating na ang teacher namin.

Nag attendance muna si sir, saka nag lecture. Then I saw Sunny scribbling on a piece of paper na pinunit niya sa binder niya, na naka patong sa mesa niya. Inalis ko na 'yung tingin ko sa kaniya, focusing my gaze on our teacher, pretending to listen to every damn words he was saying.

Sunny placed a piece of paper on my table. Tiningnan ko siya, and her gaze was focused on our teacher. Kinuha ko naman 'yung papel na pinatong ni Sunny sa table ko at binasa ang naka sulat doon.

'To answer your question, I only know you for like a week, but I already like you the way you are though, because I know there's good in you too, I felt it.

P.s hindi 'yan joke o para pagaanin pakiramdam mo, it's pure real talk. :)'

Then I shift my gaze from the paper to her, smiling a little. I was wrong to think that she's like everybody else, when she's infact something else, she's full of surprises. She's a beautiful enigma and I'm dying to discover more and it kinda scares me.