Chapter 47

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Jaycee's POV:-

It's been two day.

Forty eight hours that I haven't heard her voice.

Forty eight hours that I haven't seen her face.

Haven't felt her touch.

Haven't smelled her scent.

Forty eight hours and nothing entered my system but smoke and caffeine. My brain was running on four hours of sleep and endless anxiety. My heart pumped blood that reeked of betrayal and pain.

A lot of questions were bombing my brain.

Where are you?

Why did you leave me?

Why didn't you take me with you?

Don't you love me?

How can you muster up the nerve to abandon me?

Am I not what you wanted?

Why Alexis?

Am I not good enough?

Am I not worth it?

Am I not worth an explanation?

A sticky note glued to my forehead would've been better than this silence. Anything would've been better than this silence.

Anything.

I've done so much for this girl, I've invested so much into protecting her and making her happy. I waited for four years to tell her that I love her. Love her. And in the end, all I get in return is abandonment.

I don't think my heart can take another one of these sudden disappearances anymore.

I can't.

I've had enough.

I can't keep on loving her if she won't do the same.

But can you un-love her? Asked my conscious.

No. I can't.

Doesn't mean I won't try, I thought as I lit up my nth cigarette.

The smoke was only doing so much in helping me cope, but my heart felt like it was stabbed five hundred times. My tears literally dried. My brain shut down.

What else am I supposed to do? Die? Well I'm already there.

She said she loved me.

She lied.

She said she cared for me.

She lied.

She said she'll always be there.

She lied.

I love her.

I care for her.

I'll always be there.

But she won't.

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