Legends of Tomorrow One Shots

Fireplaces

Mick Rory had always hated fake fireplaces. You know, the ones with those little plastic logs and light that looked like fire, but obviously wasn't fire? Who the hell put fake fire in a fireplace!? Now, he wasn't the smartest guy on the time traveling spaceship....but he was pretty sure fireplace implied there must be fire in it!

What kind of a moron got a fireplace without real fire?! These things were just glorified heaters with pretty lights!

So, out of spite, Mick decided to steal a fireplace the next time the Legends went out to fix an aberration. Don't ask where he got it or how he managed to get it on the Waverider without being noticed. He just did.

He made sure he put it right smack dab in the middle of the ship too. Where everyone could see it.

"Mick, what is this?" Sara sighed, as she walked into the bridge.

"This," Mick said, rather pleased with himself, "is a fireplace."

"I can see that. What's it doing on the ship?"

"Obviously, I stole it."

"But...why?"

"Why not?"

"....Touché."

Nate and Ray walked into the room just then. They stared at the fireplace, confused.

"Whoa," Nate said. "Fancy."

"Why's there a fireplace in here?" Ray asked.

"We're gonna put fire in it," Mick told him.

"What? I didn't agree to that!" Sara said.

"You didn't think I'd bring a fireplace on board and not put fire in it?" Mick scoffed. "It's called a fireplace! Obviously I'm supposed to put fire in it! Unlike all you pansies and your fake fireplaces!"

"Is that what this is about?" Sara sighed. "Because you have a vendetta against fake fireplaces?"

"Yes!"

"Seriously?! Mick, some people can't afford to get a real fire place!"

"So? They could just steal it."

"Or a chimney sweep," Sara went on.

"Hold a gun to his head. He'll be happy to help."

"Some people don't even have a chimney! Most people don't want to burn their houses down!"

"Then don't get a fireplace!"

"Wow....he's very adamant about this..." Nate whispered to Ray.

Ray just nodded in response. "Well I guess a fireplace would keep us warmer than the ship's shotty heating system."

"Yeah," Nate agreed. "Since Jax left there's no one to fix it..."

"Whoa, cool fireplace," Zari said, walking in with Amaya and Constantine.

"How did you manage to sneak this on the shop without any of us noticing?" Amaya asked, already knowing Mick was the one who stole it. "Wait...never mind. I don't want to know."

"Apparently we're keeping it," Nate said.

"No! No! This," Sara said, pointing at the fireplace, "is not staying on the ship!"

"Ah, I thought you were supposed to be the fun captain," Mick complained.

"Is it always like this?" Constantine asked Zari.

"From what I can tell," Zari nodded. "I haven't been here that long either."

"Ah."

"Excuse me if not wanting the ship to burn down isn't fun," Sara told the pyromaniac. "I don't have time to deal with a fire place, and frankly I don't trust you with it. Besides, there's no where to let the smoke out."

"Maybe we don't need to let it out," Constantine shrugged.

"Um, I'm pretty sure the smoke would suffocate us if we didn't let it out," Nate said.

"True, but I once stumbled upon a spell that may be helpful," Constantine said. "It's supposed to be used to get rid of demons, but it also works wonders on smoke, fires, and pesky neighbors."

"You used a demon exorcism spell on your neighbor?" Ray asked.

"Indeed," Constantine nodded. "But in my defense she was being rather nosey and demonic like."

Zari laughed. "That's pretty great..."

"Children," Amaya muttered to herself. "I'm working with children."

"I always thought we were more like angsty teenagers," Ray shrugged.

"No," Nate shook his head. "We're definitely children. Three year olds...maybe ten year olds."

Amaya rolled her eyes at them. Must they always act like huge dorks?

"Anyway..." Sara said, moving the conversation along. "Why should I let you keep this stupid thing? Are you telling me you'd actually keep the fire in the fireplace? No burning down the ship?"

"I haven't burnt it down yet," Mick pointed out.

"Exactly. Yet."

The team was silent for a moment, as their captain considered keeping the fireplace on board. If she agreed to keep it, she ran the risk or Mick going crazy with it and setting the ship on fire....then again he could just do that with his gun as well...

Sending the thing back would take valuable time and effort, which was something they couldn't afford to lose right now. Not while Mallus was still a threat. Plus, they'd need the heat until they could find someone to fix the heating system.

Sara looked down at the fireplace, all fancy like with its smooth wood. Mick had even gone so far as to find wood to burn. He'd already placed it inside the fireplace and everything. And there was his whole vendetta against fake fireplaces. (She didn't even want to know how that sprung up.)

It couldn't hurt to keep the fireplace around for a little while right?

She groaned inwardly. "Okay," she said. "Fine. We can keep it for a few days. But only a few days. Then we take it back to where ever you got it."

Sara gave Mick a stern look. "And you better take care of it." She turned to Constantine with the same look. "And you better make sure he doesn't burn the ship down."

"Fair enough," Constantine nodded.

"Great. Then let's burn something!" Mick said. He whipped out his gun and lit a fire in the fireplace.