Legends of Tomorrow One Shots

Ben Heywood: Coming Out part one

Ben paced back and forth in front their father's study. Today was the day. Today was the day...
Ben took a deep breath, their stomach tieing itself into knots. Their hands were shaking, they were so nervous....but they had to do this. They had to tell him. It would make life so much easier, getting this off their chest.

Besides, he was their dad. It wasn't like he'd suddenly start hating them...right? Ben felt a sinking feeling in their chest, as they remembered a story they'd heard last week in their GSA meeting. The kid had mentioned how their family had seemed loving and open minded, until they'd come out as transgender....then they'd been kicked out and had been living in the streets since.

Ben didn't think their dad would do that, but it was still enough to make them uneasy. It was almost enough to make them turn around and forget the whole thing. To make them keep their identity a secret for another ten years or better.

But Ben knew they couldn't do that. This had been keeping them up at night for the past six months, causing them to burst into tears at random. It was hell, hiding who they were. Every day, every hour, every minute, every second that they had to keep pretending they were merely a boy was intoxicating. It wasn't right. Sure, that's what their birth certificate said. That's what parts they were born with, but it wasn't right. It wasn't who they were inside.

On a daily basis they woke up, put on a t-shirt, jeans, sneakers. They walked around acting like a boy, talking like a boy...and that was okay, but sometimes they just couldn't help wanting to prance around in a bright pink dress and high heels. They wanted to wear make up and gossip and do their hair. Girly things.

Some people thought that was stupid, disgusting even. Ben was a boy, they should act like one. They should play football and wrestle. Masculine things. But Ben didn't want that all the time. Besides, why should any of that define gender? Lots of girls played sports. Lots of boys wore dresses.

A few people assumed they were just gay or a cross dresser. They weren't. People liked to tell them they were confused. They didn't know what they felt, because they were still in high school. Just a dumb kid who didn't know anything. Those people were so wrong. Those people were the ones who were discusting, confused, and ignorant. Not Ben.

Ben knew exactly who they were. They weren't stupid, quite the contrary they were actually one of the smartest kids in their grade. It might have took awhile to figure it out, due to not having access to the LGBT+ community, until now, but Ben knew how they felt inside. They knew exactly who and what they were, there was not even a scintilla of doubt on their mind. They just knew. They had, in fact, never been so sure of anything before in their entire life. It was just so very wrong to keep it hidden. So very wrong to deny who they were.

And that's why they had to do this. That's why they stood on the other side of their father's study, running their shaky hands through their orange hair, pacing back and forth, as they tried to work up the nerve to go inside. They had to tell their father the truth, for better or for worse.

Ben sucked in a deep breath, summoning all the courage they could muster up.
I can do this! Ben thought. I can do this!

And with a burst of energy, they flung the door to the study open and stepped inside. Nate Heywood sat at the desk in the corner of the room, looking over some Ancient Greek artifacts. He looked up, when his kid walked into the room.

"Ben?" he frowned. "What's wrong? You look -"

"I'm sorry, Dad, but please don't speak," Ben interupted. "I mean...not yet anyway. I have something to tell you and I need to do it, before I lose my nerve."

Nate opened his mouth to say something, but closed it a moment later. He simply nodded for Ben to continue.

"Okay," Ben said, taking a deep breath. "Um...You know how there's the LGBT +community...?"

Nate nodded.

"Well...I've been talking to a few LGBT + people, and I, uh, discovered some things about myself..."

Nate sat up a bit, making Ben a little nervous. Surely, he wasn't about to bash the LGBT +community, right? He had a bi friend. Two gay friends. There was no way he didn't support the rest of the community....right?

"I think I know where this is going," Nate said. "Ben, you don't have to worry about being gay. Love is love. And no matter who you - "

"No," Ben interupted again. "No. Dad, I'm not gay."

"Oh," Nate said awkwardly. "Well....maybe I don't know where this is going. Continue."

Ben took another deep breath and ran their hand through their hair. They swallowed the lump forming in their throat. "When I tell you...I need you to keep an open mind..."

Nate nodded again, wondering what Ben was trying to tell him.

"In the LGBT + community there's certain...categories....umbrellas," Ben explained. "Gay, bi, transgender, queer...I am transgender. Genderfluid, specifically."

"Ooh!" Nate said, realization flashing across his face. "Okay. Cool."

Ben frowned, not sure what to make of his reaction just yet. What exactly did 'Okay. Cool.' mean? Was it sarcasm? Was he trying to hide his judgment? Or was he saying it was actually cool?

"I mean...I can't pretend to be very educated on the subject," Nate went on, "but if this is who you are that's great! I'm glad you told me."

"Really?" Ben said, feeling tears well up in their eyes. They were so relieved. So happy. It was as if a huge weight had finally been lifted off their shoulders. They were free.

"Really," Nate said. "If you're happy. I'm happy. I'll love you no matter what, Ben. Gay, straight, boy, girl, something in between, it doesn't matter. As long as you feel comfortable in your own skin, I'll love and support you."

Ben ran over and hugged their dad, sobbing tears of joy. This was honestly the best response they could have asked for. They couldn't help smiling and laughing, even as tears streamed down their face. So many emotions stirred all at once. It felt so good to let it all out. To finally be able to stop worrying. To finally be free.

It really was a powerful thing, to be accepted, to feel loved, despite the fact that society said you shouldn't be. Love was something everyone should have, regardless of what they looked or acted like. Society be damned. Ben was so glad their father was willing to give this kind of support and love to them. If he hadn't....they didn't know what they'd do. So, they just kept sobbing and smiling and laughing, until they'd finally calmed down an hour later and the two decided to order a pizza for dinner.

~

A/N: So that was part one of Ben's coming out story. Hope you enjoyed! And sorry if the font was a little off putting. I was trying something out to see if it would make the words more powerful or anything.....hopefully it worked.

Next part is Ben coming out to Amaya! Stay tuned!