Chapter 19

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Steady me, be my source of gravity

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Steady me, be my source of gravity

While my world's unraveling

Say you'll never change

-Stone by Alessia Cara ft. Sebastian Kole

*****

DELILAH

Life is comprised of moments that define you. Moments that change you and tear you apart only to build you back up. But what happens when there is no coming back from said moment? What if that moment is so intense and raw that there is no way that you will ever be the same? What happens when no matter where you look, if you pray to a God above or look for any earthly reason, there is no help or answers coming from anywhere? What happens when in that moment there is nothing else but a void in your heart and mind, not allowing you to think or process anything?

"Delilah! Girl... what's going on?" 

Jo shook me and I couldn't bring myself to reply or breathe. "He's gone... He's just... gone," I choked out. 

"Liam? Have you called Liam?" 

I shook my head, walking away before taking off and running. I had no fucking clue where I was going, I just knew that I needed to find him. There was a million possibilities. The trail that went through the forest, near the lake... the damn park was over 450 acres large. My chest constricted not from running but from the ache, the deep, piercing ache that I felt. 

My phone began ringing out of control. I wanted to pick up but surrounding me was only white noise. I searched everywhere I could in a span of fifteen minutes.

I was unsteady. Everything surrounding me was a blur. Everything hurt.

When my phone rang again, I managed to pick up with a shaking hand. My voice was no better.

"Where are you?" Was Liam's question.

"At the park."

"I know that, Delilah. What part? I'm here."

I was too shocked to say anything. Everything in my body was on overdrive. Suddenly, I felt like I was going to be sick.

"West side," I managed to reply before emptying my stomach at the edge of the trail.

The sound of sirens was distant but I could hear it. How long had it been? Minutes? Hours?

In the middle of the open park the world started closing in on me. My hands began to shake even more and my chest grew tighter. I couldn't breathe. I gasped for air, bending down and placing my hands on my knees.

How could I be such a failure? My son disappeared... My son is gone and it was all my fault.

I heard a stranggled cry and it wasn't until I heard the radioing of an officer that I realized it had left my throat. I clutched the hand of the man feeling like I was about to pass out.

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