Imperfectly Perfect

IP- 34

Mark 10:9
Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate

*

The next day, she woke up late probably because of crying so hard last night.

Of course, who wouldn't cry?

She regrets not trying so hard to love Christian because heaven knows he deserves love. But she knows in herself she couldn't love another man other than Aga.

There were many regrets, what ifs and what could have beens. But no use thinking of them now. She's lost Christian, the man who stayed when the one she loves cheated on her.

Christian who gave her the right love Aga wasn't able to give. Christian who has always been there.

If she is stupid for letting go of Christian, she isn't stupid to make herself believe she loves him when the whole world knows she could not.

Because there is Aga.

And she thinks no one could ever replace him in her heart.

"Niloko na nga ako't lahat, mahal ko pa? Tanga ako. Pinakawalan ko 'yong taong mahal ako. Tanga na naman ako," she whispered to herself before finally deciding to stand up.

She looks into the wall clock and saw that it was already 9 in the morning. She slept for 10 hours, good thing today is their day off.

A knock on her door was heard, "Lei," she heard Dawn's voice.

"Come in," she shouted still in her groggy voice.

Dawn came inside with a tray of food in her hands, "Kain na."

She smiled, "Wow naman, thank you."

"Hindi ka pa kumakain simula kagabi," she answered and placed it atop the table beside the bed.

"Ano ka ba? Busog ako kagabi. Busog ako sa lahat ng nasabi sa akin ni Christian," she smiled bitterly.

"Magang-maga 'yang mata mo, ah? Akala ko ba hindi mo mahal?"

"Dawn naman, ikaw kaya 'yong makasakit."

"Alam mo namang makakasakit ka talaga, tinuloy mo pa."

"I told you, I tried."

"You tried nang walang assurance," Dawn answered.

"I did, kasi akala ko baka pwede. Baka kaya ko. Pero, Dawn, hindi. Do you think it's still my fault?"

"It is," she straightly answered, "Kasi, una, no'ng hindi ka pala sure, dapat hindi mo na siya sinagot. 'Di mo niyayakap, hinahalikan o kaya hinahawakan kamay. At lalong hindi mo sana sinasabing mahal mo siya. Tapos hindi naman pala. For short, 'di ka sana--"

"Nanloko," she applied.

"Ikaw nagsabi niyan," Dawn giggled, "Ano pang ginagawa mo diyan?"

"Bakit?"

"Nasa baba si Aga."

Her forehead wrinkled, "So?"

"Kausapin mo na. 'Di ba 'yon naman talaga gagawin mo?"

"Not now."

Dawn laughed this time, "May pa-not now, not now ka pa diyan. Alam ko namang 'yon talaga ang gusto mong mangyari. Lea, come on. Huwag ka nang magsinungaling sa sarili mo. You don't love Christian, ni-let go mo siya. Ngayong alam mong mahal mo si Aga, it shouldn't be hard for you to talk to him and tell him how you feel."

"Pagtatawanan ako no'n. Or baka nga, ayaw niya na sa akin. Kasi ang alam niya, kami ni Christian. Tapos ano, malalalaman niyang nakipagbreak ako because I still love him?"