Forbidden: Afterglow

Chapter 27

-VALERIE'S P.O.V-

   My life. I knew some day he would come back. Just didn't think he'd be back within my wife.
   A full day has passed with him taunting me. Using her to tell me lies. And him reaching out to hit me a lot.
    Climbing into bed is tough. Because he follows me. Trying to hit me still.
"So what is your plan? Weaken me so you can take all my powers? Be strong again?"
"You think that of me? Maybe I'm here to taunt."
"It would make sense. Of course you would know that if I died, she's get all my powers and every leader thing I carry. So weaken me, kill me. Use her for powers?"
   He doesn't answer. Instead he uses her to answer. "You did what? How the fuck am I suppose to be you? How do I be my wife? How the fuck would I live without you?"
"Don't act like your her to make me think you care. You don't. You never did."
    His eyes burn with more rage. I don't even see her eyes anymore. Just his and his face. It's disturbing.
"It's all in your head."
"Of course it's all in my head. Like the dream you planted, making me think my life with her wasn't real. You did a nice job there."
    He doesn't speak. Neither does 'she'. What else can I do? I'm trapped again. Every time he raises her hand, I fear I'm going to be beaten again.
    But I have successfully made it around my kids. They don't know anything. They don't need to know that Ninfa isn't Ninfa. And Lucifer will act with it if he really plans on staying.
    Laying in bed, I'm cold. I miss my wife. I do.. but she's gone now.
"Do you remember our wedding night? Our second wedding night? Do you remember the babybump? And then the adorable ways you'd call yourself fat. Do you remember the love we shared?"
"I remember that with my wife, Lucifer. Don't use her like that to get to me. You already won."
"Valerie. I love you."
"Stop fucking with me. Stop. Even my wife fell out of love with me. Just stop."
    I find myself in tears again. I'm trying to hold myself together in front of him, so he doesn't win. But it's hard to.
    I cry myself to sleep.

    Well into the day when I wake. But hearing Joel's voice wakes me.
    He sits on his knees next to the bed. Laying his head on his arms and staring at him.
"Hey, sis."
"Hi."
"You want to tell me what's going on?"
"Uh. No. It's okay. It's worked out."
"I don't think so." He says with a sigh.
"It's a big mess. Things went bad with Ninfa. I felt her not find me attractive and it upset me. Things got so bad. He came back.. he's in her.. taunting me. Staring at me from a distance or trying to hit me."
"Why would you think she wasn't attracted to you?"
"Her actions. She doesn't see me the same since Jason. Maybe even before. It upset me because I felt gross. Plus, who would want me anyway? I got lucky for the time I had gotten."
"Lucifer isn't in your wife, Valerie. It's in your head. Ninfa is here, scared she lost you and is afraid you'll never forgive her."
"N..No. That's Lucifer. You have to see his face."
"I see Ninfa. A very worried wife. She's waiting for you to snap out of this trap trance."
"She's not Ninfa. She's not."
"Yeah she is. And I can see her body weakening. She's going to die without your love."
    My personal question in this is.. do I still love Ninfa? If Joel is right, could I love her ever again?
"She got mad at you, Valerie. She did. And may have overstepped. But she wanted you to listen to her because you weren't. You were so dead set on her not loving you. She does love you."
"Then why did she look at me like that? Do you think I enjoy having Lucifer back? I am so scared. I'm so scared."
"He's not back. I promise. He's not. It's just your mind playing tricks on you because you got so scared." He wipes my tears. "I know you're scared, Valerie. But that isn't him. It is Ninfa. And she needs you."
"You didn't see it. Her. Him.. you didn't see. She looked at me with such anger. I was frozen. I watched her become him."
"She's not. She's not him. She needs you. Needs to talk to you. You have to work things out."
    He kisses my forehead. "Trust me, okay? Trust me. Just talk to her. She is not Lucifer. I swear to you."
    After a few minutes of silence, he takes his leave. I'm left with ...Ninfa.. Staring at me.
"I didn't mean to get so mad. You wouldn't listen. I just wanted to tell you why I see you differently. Because you held Jason and gave life to him, that's why. Because it's a beautiful thing that you did and I love you more for being so strong through it all."
"You hurt me."
"I..I know. I didn't mean to be so rough."
    I wipe my tears. I don't know exactly what is going on. Everything hurts, honestly.
"Look into my eyes. What do you see now?"
"Sadness. Anger. Sadness."
"Anger towards myself. But dig deeper. You're seeing what you want to see."
    I sigh. It's like a cover that was over my eyes. After a second I can see her teal eyes. Love. I can see love. Love and worry and pain and sadness.
"What do you see, my love?"
"Your love. It doesn't make sense though. Why would you ever love me?"
"Because you're my soulmate. My wife. The woman I love. The woman I fell in love with over 25 years ago but keep falling daily. I need you. I need you to see reason. I need you to forgive me."
"Forgive you?"
"I need you to forgive me. I didn't mean to be so rough. I just wanted you to listen. And I feel terrible about it."
    I fall into silence. I don't know what to say. Or really what to think.
    Looking up to her again, the image of him appears but fades. Until it's just my wife. In tears.
"D..Don't cry.."
"I'm hurting. It's my fault. All of this. I love you. I love you more than anything. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."
"It...It's okay."
"I became the one thing that hurt you. I'm so sorry. It wasn't my intention. I just wanted you to listen. I love you more for giving us Jason, not feel grossed out by it. You're...You're too good for me."
"I..I'll be okay. I think... I think I need to.. rest.."
"Can I hold you? Please? Can I hold you?"
    It scares me.. but.. I.. I feel like I need to be held. Everything is off and I'm scared but I want someone to show me love..
"Y..Yeah.."
    She looks like she's about to question it but doesn't because she doesn't want my answer to change. She climbs in bed and wraps her arms around me. For just a few seconds I burn her but I find a way to stop..
"I know I messed up. Please.. Just please don't leave me, Valerie. I don't know of you love me anymore. But I.. I can't lose you. Even if you hate me ..don't leave me."
    I turn around in her arms to face her. Her tears flow constantly and I feel terrible. I'm still so scared.
"I..I..I don't hate you. I vowed to never leave... Even when you.. you were him.. I wasn't going to leave, even if eventually he killed me."
"I was never him. I was never him. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I got angry. I'm sorry."
"W..Why did you?"
"I couldn't get you to listen. You were forcing me out, shutting me out. Not like the other times. This time you were more serious. I was scared and just wanted you to know the truth but you wouldn't listen."
"What did you want to say?"
    She sighs. "You thought I didn't find you attractive. But you're wrong. I do. The look you say that is different, it's just me admiring you more for giving us Jason. I am waiting because I'm scared for your health. It has nothing to do with what I saw or what you think I think of you. You're still perfect to me. But now.. it's me that fucked up. And I'm scared we will never be the same."
    I'm scared she's right. I'm so scared. So scared. But.. but.. I think everything.. I.. I think I can fix it..
"J..Just p..promise that you'll never do that again.. just promise."
"I promise. I do. I promise. I'll never do that again. I promise. I'm so sorry."
    I start drifting off to sleep so I hide my face into the pillows. I fall asleep easier. Her whispering that she loves me constantly.

    The dungeons. My mind always slips back here when in distress. I hate it here.
"So you realized it wasn't me?"
"With a little help..."
"Most of that was her. The rest was in your head. You're really sick. Making your lover so mad that you end up hallucinating that she is me. What is wrong with you?"
"I didn't mean to make her mad. She made me feel so unwanted."
"Hmph. You're always going to be unwanted, Mutt."
"She wants me. She has to or she wouldn't have gone that far out to reach me. To pull me back. Someone wants me. My family wants me."
"Yet you're so terrified to look in her eyes."
"It's fixed. It will be okay."
"You sound so sure. Are you? Will it?"
"It will be okay. I believe her promise. She's not you. I know that now. She loves me.."
"Then you brought me here to tell me off?"
"I don't bring you here intentionally. But yes. You're dead. Gone. And I did you from my life."
     He charges at me. I block his attempts to shove me to the ground. Sekia rips through my chest and cuts down to my hip bone. The pain searing.
    A bright light shoves him from Sekia. The sword is taken from me and plunged into his chest. As the light dies down, I see my angel.
"You don't get to have a say. You don't get to taunt her. You don't get to make her life hell. You're dead. And you will stay that way." She yells at him.
    Blood poors from his mouth. He chokes on it multiple times while trying to smile. Trying to leave his sick impression behind.
"She is mine. Her home is in my arms. Not in this cell. You are to die now and never come back or so help me, I will rip you to shreds. You tell her lies, but the truth is is that I love her. And I will never ever stop. She is mine and mine alone. I will never leave her, always want her and never stop loving her. Because I am not you."
    She forces all she can into the sword. Sekia glows before Lucifer turns to ash. I feel so weak.. I feel so weak..
     Is it possible to pass out in a dream? Is it? Could it be?