Forbidden: Afterglow

Chapter 46

-DAKOTA'S P.O.V-.
 
    The last time I was there.. a month doesn't seem like that long but it is when you're waiting for tragic news. I don't want to go back to the one place that could ruin my life forever.
    I don't want to lose my babies. Or even one. I don't. It with crush me.
    I'm not ready for that. Not at all. Or ever.
"Hey, sis. Spacing out on me?"
"Yeah. I'm sorry, Finn. I know you wanted me to dance more.. But my head is out of it."
"I wanted you to dance because I wanted your head out of that. Not for you to be in there and out of it out here."
"That's confusing."
"You know what I mean."
"I'm sorry, bro. I think it's time I turn in though."
"I know I won't see you before you go.. But I want you to know that I love you. And I love my niece and nephew."
"I'm sure they'll love you to death."
     He kisses my cheek and lightly hugs me. "Try to actually sleep."
"I'll try."
    Zack pulls him away from me. Charley takes my hand. We leave before anyone else gives up the party.
    Laying in bed has never ever felt so amazing. I should have hovered.. my feet..
"Would you like a foot massage? Or back? Or anywhere? You probably shouldn't have gone in heals."
"They were flats."
"Yet you are in pain. So. Yes or no."
"You hate feet."
"But I love you. And I worry. And if it helps anything, I will."
"You'd face your fears for me?"
"I already did. Long ago. The fear that there was something beyond what the earth already knew. That was scary. Now I just think it's fucking epic."
    I find myself in laughter. "You did say 'so cool'."
"And I meant it. Just I was an idiot then. And I'm still an idiot now. Just a very much in love and would do anything for my wife."
"Feet.. would thank you."
"If they could."
"Mhm."
    I instantly relax to the healing touch she adds to her hands as she massages the pain away from my feet. Feeling hundreds of times better now than I did a few minutes ago. I love my wife.
"I know tomorrow is going to be stressful. I wish there was more I could do."
     I sigh. "I already am stressed. I'm scared. 5 months ago I didn't think I could be pregnant. Okay. Now I am almost on second trimester and I'm growing fast with rare twins. It's crazy. And I'm so scared. I don't want to lose either."
    She goes off to the bathroom and comes back after a minute. I watch her strip before she helps me up. Her hands gentle as she helps me get undressed for bed.
    I think maybe she's growing more gentle because of her own fears. That she'd hurt me. Or.. something would upset me.
    Her arms wraps around me as we climb into bed. I'm pulled against her chest.
"I love you. Whatever is to happen."
"I know. I love you too."
     Her hands rest on my stomach. It's adorable how they know it's her. They kick. However light the kicks are now, they probably will be deadly later on.
    The day getting to me has me on edge of falling asleep. Along with her warmth. It's perfect.
"Will you still love me if I messed up our children?"
"Wait. Charley. What?"
"I was human, D. I was human. You don't think this has anything to do with me?"
"It literally has everything to do with you. I wouldn't be pregnant without you. But I don't believe anything you have done has messed up our children."
"I drank like a lot of mountain dew. That stuff infertilezezez your junk."
    I laugh at her wording. Even though she's beyond serious right now. I'm laughing because I love her.
"D.."
"You were human. And we talked about this. You have no human left in you other than your eyes and your humanity. The rest if you is angel. So. It's impossible."
"How can you be so sure?"
"I'm sorry to tell you this babe.. But humans can't impregnate a supernatural being. A supernatural being can impregnate a human but not the other way around."
"Oh. Why?"
"Our bodies kill off certain things a lot faster than a humans kill off. So. You wouldn't be able to get me pregnant no matter how hard you tried while you were human."
"My dick.. is offended."
     I can't help but laugh. She did ask. She did. And her reaction is funny. I only wish I saw her face.
"I guess I'm just trying to make you feel better. In any way I can. Even if it means taking the blame that you have for yourself and putting it on me."
    Her words make me sad. Make me see. She's right. She's... She's right.
"I know, you know? That you blame yourself. Still wonder if it's because you had drank. Or if it's just because you aren't good enough. I know your feelings. The hatred you have on yourself."
     The five seconds of good laughter turn into a heavy wave of tears. And all I have in me to say..
"I'm sorry."
"Hey, hey.. No." She moves herself carefully to the point where she's on the other side of me and facing me. "Listen to me, Dakota."
    I nod for her to continue. Maybe she will make sense to my madness. Maybe she will show me why I am the fuck up.
"I hate this."
    Her words freeze my heart. "W..What?"
"I've always hated when you were sad or upset. And you get to a point where your mind warps things so far out of proportion. Like how you just thought I meant I hate you being pregnant."
"I..I.." she stops me with her finger over my lips.
"Neither of us predicted this. Neither of us knew this would happen. And neither of us know what is going to happen. I try to steal the blame from you and you say it's not my fault. Well it's not yours either. You're perfect. You haven't harmed them in any way. So don't blame yourself if I can't blame myself."
"Bu.."
"I love you. I love our little prince and princess. We will all make it through this."
"How can you be so sure?"
"I can't. But I believe in something higher than just numbers."
"That being?"
"The one thing I can always see on your eyes."
"Riddler."
"No. Love. Love. I believe in love. I believe in our love."
"I do too.."
"But not as much as I do. And that's okay. I'll believe for both of us."
    Her hand rests on my cheek. I take a deep breath and sigh.  Crying didn't help me. I'm tired again.
"Let's rest. Tomorrow we have a little bit of a walk."
"I really don't want to walk. Like ever again. Or dance."
    She pulls me as close to her as she can. I hide myself in her arms. The warmth sending me to sleep and all I'm able to say is "I love you.."