Forbidden: Afterglow

Chapter 32

-DAKOTA'S P.O.V-

    I was absolutely terrified that my parents would split. I'm lucky it didn't happen but it was crushing to watch. It hurt me in so many ways.
   But now, gaming with them and drinking hasn't been more fun. In the arms of my love while I beat Finnley's ass. Every other kill, getting ma. Even through her cheats.
   Drinking so much to the point that I'm forced to retire. I fall asleep after a fit of giggles and lots of cuddles from Charley.

    A loud high pitch noise pinches at my ears. I climb out of her arms and bed to go to the restroom. Duty calls.
    After washing my hands, the noise returns. I can't be sick. Not me.
    My heart races quickly the second I hear it. Hot tears burn my cheeks as I hear it. How...
    Not 5 minutes later.. another heart beat is added. 2... 2...
    I find myself crying. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready.
    I don't understand how. I mean, I know how but I don't understand how. I'm protected. I shouldn't..
    I cloak the beats from everyone. Worried for so many reasons. I drank myself to sleep. I drank myself to sleep and possibly harmed them...
    This isn't happening. Just a dream. I'll wake up in the morning and it would all be a dream.
       I.. I.. I can't be.. I can't be pregnant. I CAN'T BE..
     I climb back in bed with my wife. A person who seemed pretty content on further away future children. Not right now. It's just something I am not ready for.
    I pass back out from the wine still toxic in my blood. Worried and so scared.

    Waking to Charley is always like a dream. Always. I'm just terrified.
"You seem so off. Why do you seem off? What's wrong, baby?"
    The word.. that's exactly what's wrong. I'm not ready. And I don't think Charley even want a kids right now.
    I take a deep breath and bite back tears. "Nothing, babe." I lie, hopefully convincing.
    She can tell but she doesn't pressure. I'm grateful but it doesn't help me. And I have no one to talk to about this.
"What are the plans for today, D?"
     I take her hand and smile. "Probably game and cuddle."
"Sounds perfect. Romantic dinner later? I can get more wine."
    I am terrified enough of having kids because of mom and Jason. But now I'm worried on top of it because I was drunk several times between their heartbeats and the time they were planted.
"Had a lot of that lately. Cause for a small headache when awake. Might wanna lay off of it for a little while."
"Even though it's your favorite kind?"
"Always waiting for me another night. Plus I like having a clear head on dates. Makes each detail more worthy."
"I guess you're right."
     ....and I'm also.. pregnant.. so.. And it's twins... and.. I'm scared.
"Why don't we head downstairs?" She offers.
"Yeah. I'll go and get my mom's and meet you down."
"Okay.."
    She hurries off. I knock and tell my mom that we are heading downstairs, in hopes Finnley made breakfast. Keeping this secret...
    We all eat. Even the animals. They eat like pigs while I eat little and shove my food around.
    What do I do? I can't tell Charley. She may freak out and leave me. I can't tell anyone because they'd want me to tell Charley, which I can't.
    I'm scared. I'm still a kid. I'm still a kid. Even if I stopped aging, I'm still a kid. I don't know what I'd be doing.
    Charley and I haven't gone in depth about it. So I can't tell if she actually wants kids or if she only said that to mimic the fact that I wanted them in the future. Future as in after I grow up for a good ten maybe. Not now.
    What's worse is that it's 2 heartbeats. It's not 1. I'm pregnant with twins. I'm.. I'm pregnant.
"Babygirl?" Ma forces me to look at her. "You doing okay?"
"Yeah. Think I drank a little too much. I was having a lot of fun last night."
"It was fun." Her eyes tell me she knows I'm lying. "Maybe a little too much."
     ..I have to tell them first.. because they already see through me. Charley may know I'm lying and something is wrong but I don't have to tell her why. Not.. not yet..
    I'm just scared. Really scared. I don't want to almost die like Mom. Or be weak. ...I would die of I had to be anywhere close to how mom's was. Because... because... it's two.
    I text Jade. Using the favor for another time.
'I need cover. I have to get away from Charley for a little while.'
'Something wrong?' -Jade.
'I don't know. Just cover me, okay? If she asks, I'm there. Or that I was there.'
'Of course. I hope everything is okay.' -Jade.
    The next people I text are my mothers. But I also use my magic and send them an image of my texts with Jade.
'I really need to talk yo you guys alone. Soon.'
'We will be in our room.' -Ma.
    Ma texted back immediately. So.. that's a plus. I'm scared.
    Charley and I head back up to our room. I'm left telling my wife that I don't wanna spend the day with her. Even though I said this morning that I would.
"Hey, so. Jade wants to hang out with me today."
"Not me?"
"She didn't say. Something about catch up or something."
"Oh. Cause your brother?"
"Yeah. The whole Jason and mom thing."
    I hate lying to her. But I am doing the best I can. Which I'm coasting right over angel mode just to pull it off.
    I text Jade again.
'She thinks we're doing a catch up thing. You want to know about Jason and my mom.'
'Which is true cause I do.' -Jade.
     I lean down and kiss Charley's cheek as she flops down on the bed.
"I'm going to be bored."
"Nah. I'll be gone for like a few hours."
     Which is probably true because I know I'm going to cry. I.. I haven't said it aloud.
"Hurry back. I love you."
"I love you to."
     I teleport to mom's room. I almost instantly break down in tears as I cover my presence from Charley.
     Ma drags me to the bed and into her arms. Mom holds both of us.
"What's got my babygirl so down?"
"And to lie to me?"
"I'm sorry.. I'm sorry for lying. It wasn't all a lie though."
"What's wrong, babygirl?"
"I..I.."
    My heart races faster. I'm so scared. I'm so scared.
"I'm scared."
"Why?"
"Did Charley hurt you?"
"No, no. She's perfect. She's perfect."
     The tears pour, soaking momma's shirt. Fear gripping me in all ways. But one being if they're okay.
"I drank. I had so much to drink. I didn't know. I didn't know. And I had so much to drink."
"Babygirl, you're not making any sense."
"It's.. it's hard.. it's hard to say it out loud.. because I'm not... I'm not ready yet."
"You tell us on your time. We can stay like this for a little while."
    It can't possible be that hard to say. I said it to myself, right? Just not aloud. Not for anyone else to hear.
    The worse fear is knowing if they're okay. I care... I know I'm not ready to be a mother but I still care. I care. And I'm scared. I'm terrified.
    I don't know how to do this. Be this. I'm barely an adult.
"I'm not ready yet. I wanted this. I wanted this but in the future. Not right now. I'm scared because of so many things. One being you guys. Charley being another. Mom being specific. And I drank several times during. I didn't know. I didn't know until like 3 this morning. I didn't know."
"What are you talking about, Dakota? Why am I singled out? Did I do something wrong?"
"No, mom. No. You're amazing and I love you for all you do. I'm just scared. I don't want to be scared but I'm terrified."
"Tell us why?"
     The tears are endless. I can't find the right words, even as I try to hint out what I'm saying. Bad hints, very bad hints.
     I take deep breaths, trying to calm myself. Mom rubs my back as ma holds me close. I'm crying, crying and trembling.
    But I can also feel the fear building up in mom. She's scared with me. And I know why. Afraid that this is her doing.
     And in a way... It is. She was weakened. Her magic was too, that has to be the reason. That is the only way this is even possible.
    The world seems to have put to a stop. I guess I didn't notice until my crying had died down in sound. It's now... or never.
"I'm.. I'm pregnant."