Forbidden: Afterglow

Chapter 34

-CHARLEY'S P.O.V-

Should I be worried that my wife is acting strange? Yes. Cause she won't even tell me why. And she said she went to Jade's but I know she didn't.
I know she didn't go there. Just don't know where she went. I know she didn't go there because Jade made it out of her way to express concerns, which I won't rat on her.
Dakota sleeps soundly in my arms and I'm scared I'm losing her. Am I all but a pillow now? What do I do now?
I try and sleep, even though it's hard to when I feel like I did something wrong. A few hours is better than none at all.

Dakota kicking me in her sleep is pretty normal. Kicking me there, yeah. Normal.
"I'm sorry." She nuzzles me closely and takes away the pain.
"It's okay. Done it for like the whole time we've lived together."
"Which I say sorry each time."
"I know. I love you."
"I love you too."
I...I hate the way she said it. Almost as if she meant it halfass.
"Do you?"
"Of course I do."
"They why did you say it like that?"
"I'm tired."
"What's wrong? Why won't you actually talk to me? Did I do something wrong?"
"You're perfect."
"Yet you are shutting me out. A lot."
She sighs. "We have to talk about something. I just don't want to do it right now."
"A..Are you leaving me? For.. someone better? Are you leaving me? Did I do something wrong?"
"No, no, no and NO. You're perfect. And I'm yours and only yours. I just am stressing over something."
"Please tell me. I could try and help. I'm sorry. I'm worried."
"I'm..I'm.." she sighs heavily. "Just listen. I don't know how to do this.. But listen."
"Okay?"
I feel her magic surge through my mind, my veins. The power feels good. All for a moment and then I feel her pain. And then she reveals why she's in pain.
"Y..You're.." my heart races quickly.
"I'm pregnant."
I sit us up. She slightly pulls away. Tears beginning to fall.
"But there are.."
"Twins, Charley. I'm pregnant with twins."
"When did you find out?"
"The other day. After passing out from being drunk. I went to mom's first because Mom has godseye and I was worried. Plus ma saw me in a lie. So.."
"You don't seem excited at all. Is this really bad?"
"I'm scared. I'm so scared." She hides her face in my neck, treats streaming and soaking my shirt.
"Hey, D. I'm here. You know that, right?"
"I thought you'd not want kids."
"I told you I did, baby. And I'm going to be here for you every step of the way."
"You want them?"
I laugh lightly. "I have no doubt they'll be as beautiful as you. I wish... I wish you were more excited."
"I mean.. I am? I was worried that you..you wouldn't want this."
"My love, I'm always going to be beside you. Even in this. I wanted a family. And I suppose I'm going to get a bigger one."
"I'm not ready. I'm not ready."
"Dakota, look at all you do already. You can take care of your brother. And you did with your sister. If anyone is ready for a baby, it's you."
"Babies. Babies. Charley. Twins. I'm pregnant with twins and I'm so fucking scared."
I hold her close to me. The sounds of our babies, the small thuds of their heartbeats. Off rhythm of each other but makes a melody beat.
All in all, I'm happy. But I feel her fear and I understand. I'm a little afraid too.
"I'm scared too."
"Why?"
"Because. The thought of losing you crushes me. Being alone while raising our children. And even being like my parents. I don't want to be a bad mother. I'm scared for those reasons and many more."
"You'd make a great mother. Your parents might have been terrible but I doubt highly you'd mimic."
"I want this though, D. I'm not ready either but I know we can do it together."
"2. How the hell do you give me twins?"
"I don't know. No chances in my family genes."
I listen to the heartbeats. So tiny. So small. But peaceful.
Lightly placing my hand on her stomach. "I swear, my love, I will never leave you. And I promise, I will always do my best to be a good mother."
She sighs heavily. "I'm not ready. Just week or two ago, I mentioned that my life was perfect as is. And I'm pretty sure I was already pregnant when the thought came through."
"I'm sorry..."
"It's not your fault. I mean, it is. It is your fault in pregnant. But partially mom's fault for her magic being faulty while she was ill."
"Do you want this?"
"I think I do?"
"That's not an answer. I need to know. I need to know so I know how to help you. So I know how I need to prepare."
"Do you want this, Charley?"
"I want it, I suppose. I'll stand by you if you don't.."
"Then I guess we are having twins."
I lightly squeeze her in my arms. "I love you."
"I love you too."
"Boy or girl?"
"Hopefully both girl. Really don't care to get peed on."
"I don't know if I should take offense to that or not."
She laughs and nuzzles close to me. "You probably did pee on your parents as a baby."
"Well. Fuck you too." I laugh lightly.
"Adorable."
"Who else knows?"
"My parents. Y..You.."
"I am sorry if you were afraid to tell me. I promise, I will love our children with my whole heart. Much like I do with you. Forever."
"I should have told you. But 3 in the morning waking to that isn't exactly nice. I am so scared. I don't want to die and leave you alone to parent. And I don't want to lose them. But I'm far from ready. I'm still a kid, you know?"
"You are very childish. But that's just who you are. You really thought you'd grow out of that?"
"Possibly?"
"You wouldn't. Because it's a part of your personality. You are very empathetic. And it's a beautiful trait on you."
She sighs. "It almost doesn't seem real. I was so sad. Afraid you would accept. Afraid I would have hurt them because I was flat out drunk several times over the pass 4 weeks. And then you accepted it and now it seems almost fake. I want them, but I didn't expect to be a mother so soon."
"To be honest, I didn't think I'd become a mother at all. Before you saved my life, I had a feeling of always be alone. I wasn't accepted on earth for who I was. But people accept me here, despite being a turned human."
"If my mom wasn't the lord, I would probably be dead. We are forbidden to be together because human usage is deadly."
"What do you mean?"
"If I would have drawn blood while you were human, you'd probably either be dead or I would be in severe pain."
"Wait, why?"
She pulls away. Her eyes slightly red from crying. I heal her instantly.
"Human blood is bad for demons. Like a drug. If I had tasted it, I wouldn't be able to stop myself. But because I love you, I would and it would have been all kinds of painful. My veins would crave it and burn me from the inside out. If live with that my whole life, if you remained human."
"I had no idea."
"I thought you learned that in school?"
"No, Ninfa pulled me in for helping her with Emma when she was pregnant."
"Ah. Well. Now you know."
Fear takes over me. What if they're part human? Is it even possible? What would happen if they were?
"What if they are part human?"
"They won't be."
"How can you be sure?"
"Up in heaven there is an archive. In it shows one angel whom was human. She had a child. Though nobody knows because no one ever read those."
"Why? Who's the child?"
"Ma."
"Why hasn't anyone ever told her? I mean, humans didn't know about Lady Rose. They thought it was Marry."
"Which you know is wrong. The whole Jesus thing is wrong. He sent an angel down to earth named Jesus to help the people heal with his gifts. He has no relations to ma. Anyway. No one likes to read. So. I'm the only one who knows."
"You should tell Ninfa. Don't you think she deserves to know?"
"What difference would it make? Anyway, ma is full angel. And a little more light. But God, at the time, wrote down that turning Lady Rose reconstructed her dna and blood chromosomes. There was no trace of human left in her. None at all."
"So we don't have to worry?"
"No, baby. No. The only thing I'm worried about now is if I'm going to be as good as a mother as my mom's."
"You will be. I know you will be."
"I'm scared." Her tears start again. I carefully wipe each one as they fall.
"If anyone can do it, you can. We can. Do you believe in our love?"
"Of course I do."
"Then we can."
"I'm going to be so fucking fat."
I burst into lI'dghter. "Noo. You'll be perfect."
"I'm going to be fat. Can you imagine? I'm going to be like bigger than mom or ma was. I'm going to wobble and everything."
I fall back on the bed and pull her down with me. "You'll still be beautiful to me."
"Just be with me. That's all I need. Be with me and I think we can manage."
"I'll always be at your side, babe. I vowed that. And I swore id never break that. So. Plus, I really want this. I think we could make good parents."
"Probably in 9 months. The birthing is weird for angels and demons. But mom and ma were 9 months, so I can only assume."
"That's fine. We can do it. I'll be here with you in each step, I promise."
"Can we like go back to sleep? Cause. I'm tired. And. I'm tired. And I think it might be a good idea."
"We can. But when do we tell everyone?"
"When we wake."
"What? No. No. I don't wanna die. Fuck. I'm going to die. Your brother will kill me. I don't even know if your parents will kill me. I'm going to die."
"You're not going to die. Ma and mom actually said they were happy for us. A little down that they're going to be grandmothers but they are happy for us."
"Okay. I suppose."
She nuzzles into my neck. "Sleep. Rest. Actually sleep. Take nap with me."
"Alright."
She falls asleep almost instsntly.
"I love you, Dakota. Forever. And I'm going to love our children too. I'm going to be at your side the whole way and beyond. I promise I'll never leave."
She doesn't respond. Too far asleep. Weariness of 2 nights of no sleep takes over. I fall asleep in her arms and her in mine. While listening to our twins heartbeats.