Forbidden: Afterglow

Chapter 40

-DAKOTA'S P.O.V-

     Some words a person never want a to hear. Possible risks. Some words crush you.
    I thought there was someone else that had twins before. But apparently not. Only being to have a number more than one are the wolves.
     I guess anyone has this risk. Now me. And the only thing I'm worried about is if I have to abort one just to save the other.
     Wouldn't be able to come back from that. I wouldn't able to. I hate the idea that it could happen.
     I carefully climb out of bed. Dressing enough. I stand at the big window and watch the village thrive below.
     I don't have the ability to cry. I'm so depressed that I can't even shed a tear. Don't have a damn clue what to do.
     Charley always believes that everything happens for a reason. Our twins were a miracle. Something that is rare and wasn't suppose to happen.
    I believe things will be okay. They have to be. They have to be.
     Arms wrapping around me bring me a smile.
"Hey beautiful."
"Hey, CC."
"In deep thoughts?"
"Yeah."
"Talk to me?"
"I'm just.. depressed. I don't want you to think that it has to do with you, it doesn't. It's this risk. It has me trapped in pain. I'm afraid of it. And if it is to happen, I wouldn't be able to come back from it, Charley. I wouldn't."
"I love you so much, you know? More than anything. So when I tell you this, I mean it. I don't think this will happen. I think you will be perfectly fine. I have to believe you will be."
"I don't mean to be so depressed. Please forgive me."
"I know how you feel, love. I know. But whatever happens, I promise I will be here with you."
    I laugh to the sight of some random troll dancing in the street.
"Why is this funny?"
"No, look." I point.
    The troll does a wave to us and then continues dancing. Charley laughs with me.
"What the fuck?"
"DAAAKOOOOTTTAAAA.." Emma yells and I can hear her running.
"Uh.. Charley.. is the door op.."
    Before I can finish the word Emma smacks into the door. I hear her start to cry and I run. I pick her off the ground and she hides her face in my arms, crying.
"Don't cry, littleEm. You shouldn't be running in the house."
     I can see the way Charley looks at this. How I'm holding her. Her weight on my stomach does feel uncomfortable but I won't put her down while she is crying.
"What were you doing running like that?"
"Dinner.." she says in a sniffle.
"Ah. Alright. Well let's head over there, hm?"
"Okay..."
"You shouldn't be holding her."
"I'm fine, CC. I'm not letting her go."
"You have a big heart. Sometimes it scares me."
    Walking slowly into the kitchen, everyone looks at me and Emma instantly. Either wondering why she's hiding in my arms.. or concerned that I'm holding my sister when I'm not allowed to be holding heavier things.
"What happened?" Ma asks.
"Oh.. You know.. The door moves itself in front of Em. Evil thing."
    This gets Emma to giggle. Which makes me smile to hear. My poor sister. She's the one who actually runs and gets hurt in the house. The rest of us can run and not get hurt but this girl is a running bomb of destruction.
    I help Emma into her highchair for dinner. The weight lifted feels better but it doesn't stop all the glares. It seems everyone is in the same zone of worry.
"Why don't you sit, sis?" Finnley says and pulls out my chair. Difference is.. there's a pillow. There's a fucking pillow.
"Really? A pillow?"
"Just sit down. We are trying to help out, okay? Just let us help."
    Help has never been something I ask for. Not often anyway. I guess I'm a lot more like mom than I thought.
     I sit down for their humor. Just give them what they want. It doesn't make me feel any better.
    Time stops around me. Even ma frozen.
"Listen to me, babygirl. As much as I love you, I plead you don't pick up your sister again. She's too heavy."
"She was crying. I had to."
"When the time comes, babygirl. If I have to. I will sacrifice myself for you. I will give you all my powers if I have to. You will not die as long as I live and neither will your children."
"You can't do that."
"I can. And I will."
"No. You won't, mom." It's the first time I've ever really told her no...
"I can't lose you. If giving you my powers is the only way to keep you, then I will."
"You won't. You won't need to. I'll fight whatever I can."
"I just need you to know that I am here. I will do everything in my power to keep you with us and to keep them with us."
"A..Are they okay, after Emma?"
"They are fine. I love you. And I love them. But I need you to cheer up. So much sadness isn't good for them."
"I'm trying. I've never been so down in all my life. Even the times I thought Charley was to leave me. Or in the beginning when I went like a few weeks in pure pain. It hurts, mom. It hurts."
    She manages to hug me while I sit. Her kissing my forehead takes away the slight headache I've grown. And the chest pain from worrying.
"I've never loved someone as much as I love you and your siblings. Seeing you sad brings me pain. And I'm sorry I can't do more than just tell you how much I love you and make sure you know that I will be there."
"I love you too. I want you to be there. I know you will."
"Let's eat, okay? You can do whatever you wish to after."
    I nod. She sits down and resumes time. Almost as if it never happened but I know it did... And so does Ma.
    I can see her talking to mom through their minds. Small flashes of light in their eyes as they speak. I caught on to that stuff a long time ago.
    Charley takes my hand under the table. I squeeze lightly. Her touch brings me to here and now. Centers me. Grounds me.
"Aren't you guys going shopping tonight? For the twins?" Finnley asks.
"It's up to her. Apparently I'm not allowed to make those choices."
"No. More like if you're feeling up to it, D. I do what I do to protect you."
"I know, CC. I know."
"What are you guys going to get?"
"Probably basic blankets and stuff." Charley answers for me.
"Colors?"
     I answer in Charley's silence. "Probably unisex. Not sure until we get there and see the selections."
"I could summon.." mom offers.
    Charley speaks quickly. "No. No. I don't want to ask for anymore favors. I feel like I already owe you a lot."
"You owe me nothing, Charley. Just as long as you stick by my daughter, I'd do anything for you guys."
"I would never leave Dakota. Even if I was forced to, I'd rather die first."
"Drastic. But I promise, it wouldn't come to that. You're protected just as much as anyone else in the house."
"Thank you."
    Finnley sighs. "I wish I could help shop. I'm excited for you Dakota. I can't wait to be an uncle. I'm going to spoil them until they can't be spoiled anymore."
    I laugh to him. "I'm sure they will be more than loved."
"You speak as if you don't think you'll be here. You said you'd fight to stay."
"I will, Charley. I promise. I will."
    Dinner comes to a close. Charley and I head out to the store. Actually managing to bring Finnley along after his constant pleading.
"Ooooo. Charley. Dakota. Look at this."
    He holds up a rather beautiful blanket. A mixture of all colors. A rainbow. It's beautiful.
"I love it. Babe?" Charley says and then looks to me.
"I think it's beautiful."
"Okay. So. Two of these. Or maybe 4. Probably 4. Let's get 4. Cause babies grow and these gotta last a while. 4 it is." Finnley speaks quickly.
    I'm probably going to die by the end of this. But I can't help but to smile as Finnley helps us shop for the twins. Maybe things will be okay.
    Only time will tell. And I can only hope. But in this moment, I am happy. Shopping with my wife and my brother for my twins. It is amazing.
    They will be loved. Even if I am not here to see it. They will be loved.
    With 4, nearly 5 months of life, these babies already have so much love. Between Charley and I, there is so much. Adding my whole family, well.. the kids will never know a day where they are unwanted.
   Maybe things will be okay. Maybe things will work out. Maybe. But we must keep hope up.
    Hope is all we need.