First Degree

Chapter 25: unbreak my heart

We sat in an awkward silence as he typed away on his laptop, ignoring my presence. I didn't mind him ignoring me. I just wanted to be left alone, honestly.

"Did you see about all of these school shootings? What's wrong with my people?" He asked, referring to white people.

I know what's wrong. Not all, but some of them have no discipline. Just like some of my people.

"It's Americans as a whole." I corrected him. He looked at me from over his laptop and smiled. My lips didn't move from the same bored expression I've had since I've seen his ass.

"So tell me about prison. Did they treat you well?" He asked. He said that as if I've been gone to a new school or something.

"It's prison, Khi! Not a fucking University." I frowned. He ignored my comment and kept typing.

I looked down at my untouched cup of coffee and bagel. If he knew me, he would know that I prefer my coffee black and not brown and I do not eat bagels.

"Did they hurt you in there?" This time he never looked at me. He was too into his laptop.

"I did more hurting than getting hurt." I sipped my coffee for the first time and regretted it immediately. I spit it back out in the cup and slid it to the side.

"Listen, Genesis. I'm sorry. I don't know what else to tell you to make you stop being mad at me. I'm only a man. You would have did the same thing." He closed his laptop and grabbed my shaking hands. I wanted to punch him in his jaw.

"Fuck you, Khi." I stood up and attempted to leave dramatically, but a very strong hand had a grip on my arm.

"Look, I'm not going to chase you, Gen. If you want to leave me alone, then fine. Go!" He said as he let my arm go and went back to typing.

I found myself standing there confused. I didn't want to leave him. I only wanted him to myself.

"I love you, Khi. I don't want to share you with anyone else. Stop being such an asshole and be a grown man about everything." A small tear started to creep down my warm cheek.

I hate crying over men. I feel less than a woman when I do that. My mom raised me to be tougher than that.

I quickly wiped my face and perked up more.

"I love you too. I will get rid of Tammi." He stood up and kissed my lips. It didn't feel the same. It felt like I was kissing the lips of a liar.

"When?" I asked a question that he didn't expect to hear. I could tell by the way his expression changed.

"Soon." Was all that came from his beautifully shaped lips.

"Well contact me when soon comes." I said as I moved out of his touch. I walked out of the coffee shop and made it my business to go the opposite way we came.

"Hey, Genesis!" He called after me. I only ignored his cries out. It didn't mean anything to me. If I wanted a guy to bullshit me, I would have just kept Liam alive.

God, than man!

Liam has changed my life in ways that he will never know! Because of him, I can't get a job because I'm a convicted felon. My love life is none existence, and seems to never have been.

"Taxi!" I called out to the taxi cab that practically passed me by. Luckily for me, he stopped once he saw me waving my hands.

I quickly ran and jumped into his backseat. As I buckled my seatbelt, I noticed he was staring at me in their rear view mirror.

"Excuse me?" I slightly frowned.

"I'm sorry. I can't drive murderers." He said.

"Are you serious?" I practically screamed. I can't believe this creep is the one that's afraid of me. I mean he has this serial killer beard for crying out loud! He looks like a creepy old man who lives under a bridge.

"Sorry." Was all he said.

"Fine! I will be calling your boss." I said before getting out and slamming the door.

He drove off so fast, causing water to splash from the small puddle from rain in the previous week.

Now my entire body is soaked in this Manhattan rain water.

"Get your butt in the car. You look like shit." Khi pulled up next to me, putting me in a losing situation.

"I'm walking!" I yelled at him.

He dropped his head on the steering wheel in frustration. He looked up at me and rubbed his head.

"C'mon Gen! Don't give me trouble this morning. It's my day off and I just want to show you a good time." He said.

I sighed and looked around. Everyone else was walking fast, trying to get to their jobs. A job I wish I had.

"Take me home." I ordered as I got in the car. He simply looked at me with this bored look.

"You want to know why I really left you alone?" He turned sideways and looked at me.

"Because you're a fucking liar?" I was pretty sure that's why.

"Because I only got my hopes up every single day for nothing when I was seeing you behind bars. I knew I wouldn't see you any time soon. It only made me hurt at night. Tess had to watch me cry everyday for at least three months. I was a wreck every time I saw you. I decided that was unhealthy and I had to let you go." He said.

"Is this the part where I'm supposed to give a fuck? You fucking coward! Why didn't you just say that instead of going cold turkey on me! Do you have any idea the thoughts I would have behind bars? My own mom cut me off." I sat back and stared out the window. No one is ever as loyal as they claim.

Go to prison for some time and watch how everything moves on without you. People you thought were loyal turned out to be the fakest person you've ever met.

"Then you wouldn't answer any of my calls or letter. And to top all of this off, you went and got married." I squinted my eyes to see past his soul. I knew he had to have some feelings for this Tammi girl. She practically looked like me.

"I didn't know how to break it to you. You were already going through so much." He said. I rolled my eyes and covered my face in frustration.

"I went through even more trying to guess why you didn't want me anymore. I had to get over you eventually. I learned to live without you. Now I don't even know why I'm sitting here with you trying to explain." I fought back the tears but they came down anyway.

"You're here because deep down in that cold heart of yours, you still love me and you know I still love you." He wiped my tears away and kissed my forehead.

"You left me in that pain." I was crying hard now. He pulled me in and hugged me for dear life.

"And I kick myself in the butt everyday I think about it. Every time I look at Tammi I see you. I see your smile. I see your fun personality." He said as he continued kissing my forehead.

"Don't ever let me go." I said against his chest as he held me in his arms. I felt that warmth I once felt.