Chapter 33 - "it h-hurts"

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Yoongi's POV

Stupid Hoseok phoning when I almost kissed him.

Yes, I, Min Yoongi admit that I might have feelings for Jimin...

I said might.

I was still unsure and it was driving me crazy.

Maybe if I kiss him, I will finally work out my feelings towards him?

I knew I missed him like crazy when we didn't speak...

is that what love is?

Once at my front door, I slip on a pair of black vans before heading outside. I don't even bother locking the door, knowing that my mom will be home soon from work. I jump into my car, starting it up when suddenly a tap on my window brought me out of my daze. I flinch, turning to find Jimin standing there with a frown on his face.

Shit I almost forgot about him.

I roll down the window, my eyes still on his. I notice a small shade of pink making its way across his cheeks which caused a tiny smile to cover my lips in fondness.

He's so cute when he's nervous...

What the hell am I saying?!? Snap out of it.

"I...uh...w-where're you going?" He brushes his ringed hand through his light hair.

I love it when he does that, it's like a small tick he would do whenever he's nerv-

What the fuck! Stop it!

"To get Hoseok." I mutter back, turning my smile into an emotionless expression.

Jimin's frown deepens, "is he okay?"

I nod, "I have to go, I'll see you later."

Jimin looks lost for words as I back out of my driveway, leaving the poor boy behind.

Hoseok you owe me big time!

~*~

I stop the car a block or two away from the house, finding the very being I was looking for sitting on a swing, in an empty park. His gaze fixated on the ground as he lighly sways, his feet still on the concrete.

I move closer to notice him crying, small tears covering his cheeks. I scan his face taking in how blotchy it looks.

I take a seat on the swing beside him, not uttering a single word. Instead I wait till he is ready to explain why he was in such a state.

He smiles but I could tell there was pain in the inadequate grin. I feel pity towards my brother as another tear falls from his brown eyes.

"He doesn't love me." He finally chokes.

Pursing my lips, I knew where this was going and it broke my heart that I was the one who would have to watch him fall into the pits of misery.

"I love him." He bubbles, "I wanted to tell him, I wanted to tell him everything! He wouldn't let me speak!" His voice now slightly raised.

I continue to listen, wanting him to get it all out.

"HE'LL NEVER FORGIVE ME!! I LEFT HIM, I HURT HIM!!! BUT I HAD TO..."

My body tenses at him words causing guilt to hit my chest.

It was my fault that he did all this...
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I told him I didn't need him,
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But I did.
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During that time I really did need him...

"Hoseok." I sigh, "stop beating yourself up about th-"

He cuts me off standing to his feet, "-I CAN'T! DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?!?! I LOVE HIM. I ALWAYS HAVE BUT HE WOULDN'T EVEN SPEAK TO ME UNLESS ITS TO TELL ME TO LEAVE! I C-CAN'T ANYMORE!...it h-hurts." His last words were an almost inaudible whisper.

I watch while my brother drops to the floor, clinging to his chest in pain. The leaking tears escaping his eyes more, increasing in numbers. Biting my lower lip, I stand, bending down to him before wrapping my arms around him as he howls in agony into my chest.

It's all your fault.

The words clear in my mind now about what it all means, why Hoseok's friends hated my guts.

It was because I was the reason Hoseok left them...
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I was the reason for all of this,
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It's all my fault.

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Authors Note

I'm crying 😩

Hoseok don't cry 😢

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