Thor: Tony
Tony: what
Thor: I need ur help
Tony: okay, we r literally killing aliens rn
Thor: yeah, but this is important
Tony: more important than saving NYC?
Tony: and how r u even texting rn
Thor: i am using Odinspeak. i changed it so that it would route it to my phone and send it to the person I want to talk to
Tony: Oh. wow
Thor: how are you talking to me?
Tony: JARVIS
Thor: ah. of course.
Tony: so what do need help with
Thor: As much as I don't want to admit it...I need relationship advice
Tony: And I'm the person ur going to?
Thor: Well, no one else really qualifies
Tony: What about cap?
Thor: Okay, but like, literally none of the Avengers like Sharon. Natasha says she thinks that Sharon is a stuck up prick that just likes Steve bc he's cap. (A/N: In this text, Steve and Sharon are dating. This is post-civil war, but not too post, bc then Steve and Nat get together)
Tony: true tho.
Thor: And bruce and Nat are just like...all over the place...like, i dont even know who likes who anymore
Thor: and I think Nat is eyeing steve
Tony: wow
Tony: ur really caught up in the drama
Thor: Well, yeah.
Thor: its one of my favorite things to do, you know. to watch others drama
Tony: and now ur dealing with your own, right
Thor: kind of
Thor: I mean, Jane's mad at me
Thor: but I swear I didn't do anything
Tony: those r the words of literally every man ever
Thor: ik, but i KNOW i didn't do anything
Tony: okay...
Tony: is it her birthday or something?
Thor: no, her birthday is in 2 months, 11 days, and 2 hours
Tony: okay...is it...oh I got it
Thor: WHat is it?
Tony: i can't even believe i know this
Thor: What is it?!
Tony: but why didn't u do anything
Tony: AND HOW DO U NOT REMEMBER
Thor: WHAT.
Thor: IS
Thor: IT
Tony: okay, it starts with and a and ends with a y. and its like a VERY important moment in ur life
Thor: ????????
Tony: ANNIVERSARY
Thor: ah.
Thor: thank u
Thor: do u think if i just buy her some flowers then...
Tony: no
Thor: dang it
Tony: I'll visit ur grave
Thor: thanks :(
Tony: I'll even lay some flowers
Tony: we'll have a lovely ceremony
Thor: Goodbye, cruel worlds
Tony: alien on ur left
Thor: got it
