Ready for Anything?

Chapter 74

I woke up with a start and glanced at the video monitor stationed on the wall beside our bed.  I sighed, realizing it was Liam again, and sleepily made my way to his room to offer him a bottle and some cuddles.  Finn and I have a rule, that we take turns getting up when the twins cry, but Liam was doing most of the fussing these past few nights.  Everyone has been telling me about Colic, but as I did more research, I learned that Colic is just a blanket diagnosis for when the doctor can't, or won't take the time, to find out what's really wrong.  We have an appointment with a GI specialist in the morning, but that can't come soon enough with all of his crying.

"Hey there, handsome boy!  What's all of this crying for?  Does your tummy hurt?  Come here, buddy, let's get your diaper changed, and then I'll make you a bottle and see if you're hungry or just fussy" I told him in a caring tone.  Despite my exhausted, zombie-like state, and the fact that I most likely look like a hot mess who hasn't seen a shower in days, I wouldn't trade any of it.  Growing up, I was never sure that being a mother was ever going to feel right to me, but I knew in my heart I had been wrong - so very wrong.  I couldn't have ever imagined what it would feel like to have someone depend on me so helplessly, or to feel the immense amount of pressure that motherhood has brought me - let alone to have everything multiplied by two - but I was enjoying it.  Even though I still have no idea what in the world I'm doing, and after two months of Liam's excessive crying and wanting to pull my hair out, I was still grateful every single day for my beautiful family - Liam, Brielle, and Finn.

Oh, Finn.  I could write a book about the amazing things that man does.  He has taken fatherhood by the horns and has done everything in his power to be the best dad.  He takes off work for doctor's appointments, arranges family photo sessions, hired a lady to come in a couple nights a week to clean and cook for us since I've been so exhausted - even though I tried to protest, but he insisted - and boy am I happy about that now!  He works from home as much as he can, and we've been talking about taking a vacation as soon as we feel comfortable leaving the babies - although I can't imagine being away from them for a week, so he's also offered to arrange for them and both grandmas to come with us so we're not away from them, but we can still unwind and have some 'us' time.  He tried to hire me a nanny, but I put my foot down.  I told him I would agree to letting his or my mom stay with us for a day or a week here and there, but that I didn't want to have permanent help.  I wanted to be able to do this myself - plenty of other moms have been able to, as well as hold down a job, and that is my goal as well.  I don't want someone else to raise my children and they not know me - I want to make my mom proud of me and the instincts that I inherited from her.

Liam took in the whole bottle that I made for him, and after a burp, I thought he was ready to go back to bed, so I laid him in his crib and walked away.  I didn't even make it to the door when he started to cry again.  "Liam" I whispered in frustration, making my way back to the crib to pick him up again and pat his back.  I tried to sit back down with him in the rocking chair, but he wasn't having it, so I stood back up, and jiggled a little as I walked.  "Do you want to go for a walk?  Let's go for a walk and see if that helps to make you sleepy" I told him, making my way out the nursery door.

We walked down the hall and I reminisced about the way the house looked before, compared to the way it looks now after the redecorating and renovations.  Floor to ceiling, wall to wall, every single thing was different.  I walked to the bottom of the staircase, which had been redone and modernized leading back up to the loft-style landing that had been created out of the smallest bedroom.  Some of the walls downstairs were removed to create a more open floor plan.  Many, many enhancements were made, everything was updated, no detail was forgotten, and it made me happy and sad all at the same time.  Everything had such a sleek, clean, modern feel to it.  I made my way into the kitchen which had been modified with a half wall, opening up to the dining room, creating more countertop and cabinet space.  The appliances were brand new and a gorgeous stainless steel.  There was a massive custom cabinet surrounding the refrigerator and there was a double oven with a separate warming compartment.  The dining room had a large, solid Cherrywood table with eight matching chairs all around, and additional chairs were stationed nearby.  I remembered the time when we first saw all of the changes.

"Finn..." I asked.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Your sister is amazing...!" I whispered in awe, finding something new every time I took another look.

"I told you she'd make it perfect for you" he said with a smile.

"Perfect is so much an understatement right now" I told him, still taking it all in.

He took me into his arms.  "Welcome to our home" he whispered, kissing me on the top of my head.  I threw my arms around his neck and held on tight.  I remembered thinking 'Our home!  I couldn't believe this was our home!  Together!'  Everything about it had felt so right, and so amazing, I almost couldn't stand it.  "What do you say we go have some tea and relax, and then we can talk about how we want to decorate the nurseries?" he asked me.

"You actually want to be involved in that, too?" I remembered asking in surprise

"Absolutely!  Haven't you figured out by now that I'm not the typical society dad?  Nothing's going to keep me from sharing all of these experiences with you" he promised with a laugh.

I smiled and nodded.  "I love that so much about you" I told him.  I don't think anything I'd ever said before that point had ever been more true.

"Hey, what are you two doing down here?  Is everything alright?" Finn asked, gently wrapping his arms around me from behind.

I smiled and leaned back into him.  "Our son can't sleep, and it was my turn to get up with him, so I took him for a little walk" I told him. 

"I'm up, so I'll take him.  You go try and get some rest, Sweetheart.  BriBri's due to wake up in about two hours, so with any luck, you can at least sleep that long" he whispered with a kiss to the top of my head, and taking Liam from my arms before I had a chance to object.

"You're too good to me" I whispered, already starting to yawn. 

"That's my job.  Now go before I change my mind" he teased with a wink, and I turned to go towards the stairs, but I came back and kissed him deeply, before heading to bed, leaving him with a smile on his face.