✰ please accept that i'm not the best writer ✰
requests are not being taken at the moment !
they will be opening again once i get a few drafts completed !
cover by @krisbryants !!
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
-eric's pov-
Every single day, I'm awoken to the thought of her. It's been months and not a day has passed without her running through my mind, whether it's a game day or not, which is definitely not helping my team. I try to focus, to get my head in the game, but she always ends up becoming the largest distraction, despite her lack of presence. A part of me wants to forget everything we ever had and completely let go of our past, but a larger part of me wants everything to go back to the way things were. But because of one stupid mistake I absentmindedly made, I'm forced to deal with the fact she's off somewhere else, living her life, probably with someone new. Oh, how I wish that someone could be me. Laying in bed, I'm extremely unwilling to get up and ready for my home game today. To think, this game I used to love; we used to love, I am no longer excited to play. My whole life, baseball has been my obsession. But now that spot has been replaced, by her; her smile that made my day, her crazy and outgoing personality that pushed me out of my comfort zone, god, even the smell of her perfume drove me crazy. She was mine, and now that she's not, I don't know what to do with myself. How could I have been so stupid? To not only break up with the girl of my dreams, but to expect her to come back to me after I hurt her so badly. I'd like to think of myself as tough, but how can I be tough if as I look at myself in the bathroom mirror, tears are streaming down my face, just at the thought of the moment I lost her. Cleaning myself up, I quickly grab everything I need and head to the field for practice before our evening game.
-at the field-
"Hosmer! I need to speak with you for a minute." Head coach, Andy Green, calls over to me as I take the field for practice. I slowly turn around and trot over to where he's taken place in the dugout.
"Yes?" I have no clue what this could possibly be about; perhaps my slump?
"We've made a decision to give you a three-day break. Obviously, something's been on your mind that is clearly quite distracting. So you've got three days to get it sorted out. We need you out of this mindset for the team. You've got to get your head in the game. You'll be benched starting today." I knew this was coming. I mean, it's obvious I haven't been doing well. Errors, no-hit games, I'm basically doing nothing to help the team.
"Okay, I understand. I'll put more work in on these three days. I won't disappoint you." Great, because that's what I need; more people to disappoint. As I stay seated on the bench during our game, I can't help but think of what I could do to get out of this. Usually, during our three-year relationship, Allie would help me get out of this mindset. Not only was she supportive, but encouraging, including keeping me away from my bad habits. And it always worked. And now that that is gone, I have no clue what I could possibly do to get back to my normal self. And that's when I realize - there is nothing else I can do. I need her. I need her to tell me she believes in me, to help me understand what's wrong and to, most importantly, be there for me. But as of now, she has someone else to be there for. But frankly, I don't care. I have now made it my mission to not only tell her how much I still love her, but to apologize for any way I ever hurt her, whether she'll forgive me or not.
