Addicted | Yoonmin✔

|seventeen|

WARNING: triggering content. Read at own risk.

Yoongi said nothing as he climbed into Jin's car. Jin said nothing as he drove Yoongi off. Jin knew when Yoongi wanted to talk, and when he wanted silence. This was one of those times. He wanted his lover, and Jin could understand that. Yoongi wanted his small source of innocence, his little slice of purity.

The drive seemed to take forever, and Yoongi was rushing against the time, because Jimin wasn't answering him. Jimin has never not answered him. Something must be wrong, seriously wrong. Was it the guilt on Yoongi's shoulders that was making him feel this way? Was it the heartache of finding out that his mom was terminally sick? Was it the strong emotions of that day all mixed together? Just this morning, Yoongi had been drinking coffee and all had been right in the world. He was living with Namjoon and Jin, stuck in a dead-end job serving tables, and had a cute boyfriend (kinda, boyfriend) to coddle and spoil. In a day, he was suddenly forced to be responsible. He was given hope for a future where he was someone who was worth the air he breathed.

Maybe he wasn't meant to fully recover. Maybe he was meant to be stuck at that 80% buffer forever. He could live his entire life without being content, he's used to worse circumstances.

“Stop a bit down the street, in case his parents are home,” was the first thing Yoongi said. Jin nodded, and pulled up two houses down from Jimin's home.

When Jin pulled up, Yoongi immediately jumped out. Jin leaned out of the open car window. “I'll wait until you go in!” And with that, Yoongi jogged off. He didn't go in through the front door, but followed his usual route of knocking at Jimin's window, which was visible from where Jin was.

Yoongi knocked frantically, using that stupid secret knock that Jimin had taught him.

Knock. Knock. Knock knock knock.

He could hear loud music from within the room, and the windows were vibrating with the intensity of the music. Jimin must be home alone, Yoongi thought as he started to knock more frantically, the vibrations of the glass tickling his knuckles.

Jimin still wouldn't answer.

“Jimin? Jiminie? Little one? Baby boy? Baby!” Yoongi was getting desperate, and scared.

His world was turning to a dark navy blue colour.

He knew Jimin was home. Jin had dropped him off himself! He could hear Jimin's stupid music coming from within. “JIMIN!” Yoongi screamed.

Like, the colour of the sky in the dead of night when there wasn't even a moon out, and the pollution from the cities was causing the stars to hide their flames.

Yoongi almost cried out in relief when he heard the music inside quiet down. Jimin tore the curtains open, and the sight before Yoongi fucking tore his heart strings out of his heart and wrapped the sinews around his throat before choking him and pulling his very life's breath form his being.

Jimin was crying.

That was not something that's okay.

Yoongi immediately started banging on the window. “Open. Jimin, open up this very instant.”

Jimin shook his head.

Yoongi felt the addict within him tear at the corners of his mind, becoming entangled with the blanket of darkness that was slowly settling into his soul.

“Open up, Jimin. Let me talk to you. I need you, Jimin. Can't you see I need you?”

Jimin shook his head again.

“Open the hell up, please... ” Yoongi said softly.

Jimin flinched. Yoongi's eyes widened. The addict was screaming. Laughing hysterically. Telling Yoongi how bad he had fucked up. How he lost the only thing that was good in his world. How nothing will ever be okay again. That fucking hyperbolic addict that reminded Yoongi how Jimin deserved better.

How Jimin was someone who deserved only the kindest treatment.

Only the softest touch.

Only the sweetest kiss.

Yoongi's kisses were bitter, with the aftertaste of all the drugs he took as a teenager still in the after-taste of his mouth. His touch was rough, with his calloused hands and possessive grasp. His treatment was harsh and his words were mean.

“I'm sorry baby...” Yoongi whispered. He leaned against the window, his palm pressed flat against the cold of the glass. His hot touch and warm breath was fogging up the glass. “I didn't mean to swear...I need you now...”

Jimin opened the window a tiny bit. Yoongi stood back, expecting Jimin to let him in, but instead he held his phone to the open window.

"Shush, hear me out. You need some release, I can see it in your eyes, but you're scared to misuse the poor pretty boy, aren't you? Well, here's your ticket to fuck me senseless. Take out all that pent-up anger on me. Hurt me, hit me, fuck me, make me your bitch, whatever tickles your fancy. I know you need it.”

The addict was hitting at his scull, laughing like a maniac. Your past has come back to haunt you! Aaww, poor baby! You knew it was all too good to be true! You knew life couldn't truly be this good! You know you don't deserve this! You know, you know, YOU FUCKING KNOW YOU FUCKED-UP PIECE OF SHIT!

“Jimin...”

“You butt-dialed me. I listened. You didn't fight back. You didn't even say no. What, am I just yours when you're okay? Am I just good enough when things are good in the world? I know I act innocent, but I've been through hell as well. I know about pain, and the dark places in a person's mind. I want to be strong for you. I do, but I can't when you go around letting your fucking ex boyfriend flirt with you!” He slammed the window shut.

Yoongi sank back down, into the bushes, into the grass, into the ground, into the dirt, where he belonged.

He was lost.

Go get a fix. Call Jihoon.

He wanted to curl up in Jimin's arms.

Maybe a few pills. Pop a few, and let that numb feeling take over.

He hasn't felt this much pain in a while. Being on the buffer meant that he lived a boring life, without anything worthy of causing pain in his life. It's ironic, how everything worth loving causes pain.

You need to forget about this tonight. One line. Snort one line, you'll feel brand new.

Was he truly ready for a relationship? Could he really be the lover, the man, Jimin needed to be the best version of himself?

It'll all feel better after you shoot up, Yoongi. You know this.

Yoongi texted Jin, telling him that he's not going to leave until Jimin lets him in, even if it meant spending the night. Jin was hesitant to leave. Something bad must have happened, and he wasn't ready to leave Yoongi alone.

Jinnie
Okay, but I'm staying as well, and I'm
telling Namjoon where we are.
I'm not leaving until I know
you're okay.

Yoongi left Jin on read, before settling down in the bushes, his breath turning to fog in the air.

One bullet to the head, that's all, Yoongi. Then you'll be okay. I promise.

There was a terrible ringing noise in his head.